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This review is from: Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships (Hardcover)
Sue Johnson has a gift for presenting science with such delight and joy that it's like opening an extra special birthday present that the giver is as excited about as the receiver. In Love Sense, Sue opens up the science of love for all of us. She begins by pointing out that our first instinct is to seek contact and comforting connection rather than sex or aggression. This idea opens up a whole new arena for understanding behavior and interactions. The idea that we must stand alone and strive for independence falls away for the idea that what we all really need is closeness and comfort. We worry that if we are "too soft" that we will raise self centered people but, in fact, we are mostly driven to be empathic rather than competitive. Sue reveals the science of her ideas in much the same way that Richard Feynman reveals physics - with joy and engagement. Sue discusses emotion, the brain, sex, monogamy. She addresses many issues couples struggle with over a lifetime of partnership such as making a commitment, parenthood, coping with the empty nest, retirement. Along this journey, Sue explains the common cycles couples get into and the emotion that is underneath those cycles that drives them. She uses examples from her work with couples to demonstrate what happens in these dynamics and how attachment styles and needs affect each person. She slows down the dynamics and digs deep into the emotion and attachment needs to expose what reassurance or support is needed to circumvent the cycle. In chapter nine Sue tells a love story and describes a betrayal between a couple, the opening up, understanding what was happening between them that created the environment for this fracture to happen and then the repair. This will be a wonderful piece for our clients to read to begin to understand the opening that needs to happen when people have hurt each other. Sue moves on to expose many of the challenges we have in our ability to be present with those we love. Throughout this book, the conversational style Sue has, her deep understanding of her subject and her passion for this topic are palpable. This book will be a best seller and I believe that it will create the revolution Sue talks about. We will begin to find each other, open up to each other, expose our vulnerability, understand our emotions and heal our interpersonal fractures. Thank you Sue for caring enough to bring forward these important messages. This is a lovely, mesmerizing book.
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Initial post: Mar 21, 2014 7:58:17 AM PDT
Scott T. Laird says:
Thank you for this very helpful and detailed review.
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