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Customer Review

240 of 244 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Review from OT that needed to be shared (not written by me), May 11, 2012
Ok so I went ahead and bought one of the mini cannons from Pocket Artillery. Being the man-child that I am I have already had an 'incident'.

Ok so I am at home screwing around with the cannon that I bought; it was my day off work and I was home alone. I had already shot it a few times using the instructions for the 'regular' shooting which consists of using FFFg or finer black powder, a BB and a fireworks fuse. My girlfriend walks into the house with a horrified look on her face. "Have you been shooting that thing in the house?" The smoke and burnt powder fumes gave me away. "There is just a small pop lots of sparks and smoke but I'm not going to break anything," I retorted. Really the black powder was not particularly powerful and honestly I was a little disappointed but didn't want to show that to my GF that had previously berated me for buying it in the first place, so I didn't mention that. I was then banned from shooting it in the house...

The next day I decided to try the 'advanced' instructions. I went to the Dollar Store after work and picked up some cap gun caps per the instructions and proceeded to cut them out of the little red rings and make a glorious pile of them. The instructions said to take a single ring (8 charges) and put that into the cannon. Of course I disregarded this and stuffed as many of them in there as I could along with a BB. Being that it was full of the caps, the BB was fairly close to the top of the barrel...which I realized later was my downfall. Mind you I had not been playing with the cannon outside as instructed, I had been doing this at the dining room table. I then proceeded to get distracted or something and ended up leaving the loaded cannon on the table much to the chagrin of my GF who would get home in the next few minutes.

The second that she walked in and she noticed that thing on her table she lost it. We argued about me being childish etc. probably for the next 30 minutes. I was pissed off, she was pissed off, she left to go to "the store!!!". I needed to blow off some steam so the logical thing to do was shoot the already loaded cannon. What I didn't anticipate was her coming right back to apologize. So here I am lighting the fuse when I hear the car door shut. The cannon was pointed away from the breakable stuff and the front door which is about 35 feet away, however I hadn't anticipated the inaccuracy of the cannon when overloaded by about 6x. The fuse is burning down I can't stop it...time seems to slow. The door opens, she walks in...the BOOM. Holy crap it was loud, loud enough to make my ears rings. The cannon flies back from the explosion. The look on her face was a look of terror and shock until she started crying. Apparently the BB being so close to the top of the barrel shot sideways rather than traveling parallel to the bore where it had hit her. I didn't know where but as soon as she reacted and doubled over in pain in became all too apparent. It had hit her right above her womanly spot. Long story short, lots of cussing and screaming later we discovered that it had pierced the shorts and panties she was wearing before hitting her. It broke the skin but was not imbedded in her, the clothing must have slowed it down enough.

I have been banned from playing with my cannon and must 'get rid of it'.
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Tracked by 2 customers

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Showing 1-10 of 12 posts in this discussion
Initial post: May 11, 2012 5:16:42 PM PDT
Scott Holmes says:
lol 10/10 review. would read again.

Posted on May 14, 2012 11:35:22 AM PDT
A. Conrad says:
You've been a bad, bad boy. lol great review

Posted on May 21, 2012 7:09:14 PM PDT
Rani Alabed says:
What a great read. Are you writing a sequel soon?

Posted on May 23, 2012 4:24:30 PM PDT
J. Scavone says:
So, since you are getting rid of it... can I have it?

Posted on May 24, 2012 10:12:16 AM PDT
She's right, you'll put someone's eye out with that thing. But to make it easier for you I'd give you half what you paid for it. :)

Posted on May 24, 2012 12:55:00 PM PDT
weredragon says:
not a helpful review. after the girlfriend saw the review, I'm not allowed to get the mini-cannon!

Posted on May 27, 2012 11:24:07 PM PDT
[Customers don't think this post adds to the discussion. Show post anyway. Show all unhelpful posts.]

Posted on Jun 1, 2012 7:18:42 PM PDT
Darren Jobe says:
Greatest review ever!

Posted on Jun 4, 2012 4:02:13 PM PDT
Rush says:
Review of the year.

Posted on Jun 9, 2012 2:52:16 PM PDT
aria says:
Hey Steve, I have a lot of pyro stuff I can trade you for the cannon. You could show your GF a picture of that stuff and maybe she'd let you keep the cannon!
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