1,308 of 1,330 people found the following review helpful
sauce not for mortals,
This review is from: Dave's Ghost Pepper Naga Jolokia Hot Sauce 5oz (Grocery)
I purchased a burrito from a small shop a few blocks from home. I was unimpressed with their habanero "hot" salsa. Eager to kick it up a notch, I reached for a bottle of what I later found to be Dave's Gourmet Ghost Pepper Jolokia Hot Sauce. I unscrewed the top and went to put a dab on. I quickly realized that there was no flow regulation but not before a large pool of the magma colored liquid dripped into my lunch. I decided to dab my finger in it and see what I was dealing with. It was formidable, sweet and flavorful with a long heat. I thought I could take the heat.
I demolished the burrito, hot sauce and all, and shrugged off the pain. Every bite was saturated with the taste of a thousand tortured souls but the guacamole still tasted great. I wiped my tingling lips and while downing a glass of water I looked at the bottle. It claimed a heat rating of "Insanity++." I headed home thinking surely the worst must be over. I've ate plenty of hot food and my stomach is battle tested. I was wrong.
I walked no more than a block before I started to feel odd. It was in the forties in Cleveland but I could feel the sweat forming on my brow. I walked another block and I could literally feel the burning sensation outlining my stomach. My breaths were noticeably faster and shorter. People on the street looked at me weird. I figured it would go away by the time I got home but I decided to pick up the pace. By the time my apartment was in sight I was experiencing tunnel vision and it felt like a live agitated weasel had been placed inside me. I knew what I had to do. After flushing my lunch, a tablespoon of this sauce, half a gallon of milk, and my ego down the drain, I can honestly say I am just happy to be alive. This sauce is not for mortals.
Tracked by 10 customers
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Showing 1-10 of 64 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Dec 23, 2009 7:31:28 PM PST
G. Parker says:
You should write reviews for everything. I think this is your niche.
In reply to an earlier post on Feb 25, 2010 11:15:33 AM PST
R. Willoughby says:
Posted on Mar 23, 2010 11:21:26 AM PDT
This is one of the best reviews I've ever seen on Amazon. It is very reminicent of my first run-in with the original Dave's. My hot sauce bravado went down the drain with that one; I'm having second thoughts about even trying this one.
Posted on Apr 28, 2010 5:26:24 AM PDT
This is the best review I've ever read and is a great way to start my day. I'm literally sitting in my office chair laughing...and wondering if I'm brave enough to buy the salsa!
Posted on Jun 16, 2010 11:18:17 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jun 16, 2010 11:18:42 AM PDT
Joshua Jordan says:
This might be the best review ever... well done.
Posted on Jul 1, 2010 12:43:45 PM PDT
Jeanne M. Pryll says:
hahaha your review SOLD me on this product!! As that other guy said, you should do reviews for a living! I had been considering it beforehand but now I HAVE to get this for my husband, thanks! lol
Posted on Aug 21, 2010 9:29:47 PM PDT
soooo funny - I just bought a bottle today and I know what you were dealing with!
Posted on Aug 23, 2010 10:26:00 AM PDT
Dustin Pelletier says:
man i know exactly how that feels, i have never felt such a pain that a hot sauce delivers at this degree... it seriously needs a warning or a waiver... eating was of course torture, but the pain after in my stomach felt like i was being stabbed and of course lost my lunch too... its seriously some dangerous stuff... digesting sauce like this is probably can cause some health complications
Posted on Sep 6, 2010 9:14:46 AM PDT
David McGlynn says:
Great review. You have a real knack for writing.
Posted on Sep 20, 2010 11:53:19 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 20, 2010 11:54:41 AM PDT
Great Review. While I haven't had this Hot Sauce, I do know of an instance of a burger joint in San Antonio that was cooking ghost peppers into one of their burgers for some kind of promotion and just the steam in the air from the grilled peppers cleared the entire restraunt like it was tear gas. I hear the Indian government is experimenting with using the essence of these peppers in some sort of chemical weapon.