Customer Review

34 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sir Read-A-Lot, February 14, 2013
This review is from: I Like Big Books And I Cannot Lie Funny Cotton Canvas Tote Bag - Eco Friendly and Reusable (Baby Product)
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her book.
It is so big. [scoff] She looks like,
one of those bookish librarians.
But, you know, who understands those librarians? *scoff*
Guys only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total Potter-head, 'kay?
I mean, her book, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so square, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... stacked!

[Sir Read-a-Lot]
I like big books and I can not lie
You other readers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a tome up in her face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice it's bookmark stuffed
Deep in her Proust she's reading
My forehead sweat is beading
Oh baby, I wanna read you
To your end back to your prelude
My book club tried to warn me
But that book you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
Is a pun not an allusion.
Excuse me, excuse me
Are you a Jane Austen groupie?
Sorry if I stammer
But I love yo' grammar
And look at your book light,
Sexier than Strunk and White
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' blogs are the new thing
Take a philologist and ask him that
Her books gotta pack a high stack
So, readers! (Yeah!) readers! (Yeah!)
Has your librarian got the book? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shelve it! (Shelve it!) Shelve it! (Shelve it!)
Shelve that heavy book!
Baby got book!
Baby got book!

[Sir Read-a-Lot]
I like 'em bound, and big
And when I read and smokin' a cig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like Hannibal
From history not the cannibal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, poetry, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause those articles are made for boys
I want 'em real thick and heavy
Like a novel by Barnie Rubble
Read-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a sequal on the double
I'm watchin' book videos
Leavin' out parts and makin' plot-holes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Angelou
A word to the thick book sisters, I wanna read with ya
I won't spoiler it for ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *read*
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to sparknotes and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and quote strong
And I'm down to get the fiction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna roll in my libraries {Yeah!}
Then look around! Check one out!
But it's a library please don't shout
Baby got book!

Baby got book!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 362,436 words? Ha ha, only if it's a trilogy.

[Sir Read-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend reads romance, and dead poets from France
But France ain't got a Chekov in its metaphorical pants
My fingertips don't want none
Unless you've got pages, hun
You can read classics or modern
But please don't lose my books
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that Carver ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to reread it
So critics call your book fat,
Well I ain't down with that!
Cuz your book's print's small and your pages are flippin'
And I'm thinkin' 'bout stickin'
My bookmark in your fin:
I'll show you my Wild Thing!
Yeah give me a reader, oh how I need her
Wollstonecraft did free her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause he only reads best seller lists
He bought books but he chose to Cliff 'em
And I pull up quick to rip 'em
So ladies, if the book is bound,
And you want a 50 Shades read down,
Dial 1-900-ReadALOT
And quote them nasty thoughts
Baby got book!
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Tracked by 1 customer

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Showing 1-3 of 3 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Feb 15, 2013 2:33:09 PM PST
Amanda says:
Oh my god. Todd.

Posted on Mar 27, 2013 8:57:20 AM PDT
This is amazing.

Posted on May 8, 2013 8:56:29 PM PDT
C. Londono says:
Best. Review. Ever
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