Customer Review

41 of 53 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Narrow focus, truly depressing, misleading, March 13, 2009
This review is from: Under the Sabers: The Unwritten Code of Army Wives (Hardcover)
This book was nothing more than a dreadful look into the lives of a small handful of women who had horrible experiences. Do not judge this book by its cover. Mine displayed a happy couple kissing as they walk out of the church after their wedding under an arch of sabers. What a happy picture. Enjoy it because it's the last happy thing you'll see in this book. The grand title creates the illusion that you will be getting an general, but inside, look at the lives of military wives. A true look at what Army wives face and how they cope.

What it provides is the utterly depressing story of a few women who faced murder, family deaths, illness, abuse, cheating, struggles, and unhappiness. It's not inspiring, and it will certainly not act as any sort of reference for what a new wife might face. As a matter of fact, if I had read this before I married my husband (enlisted infantryman on a career track in the Amry) I would have been terrified about the life ahead.

This title is so misleading that it's almost insulting to military wives who are happy. There are so many women who happily and joyfully approach their military marriages, myself included. We face deployments, moves, seperation, uncertainty, and hard times with faith in our marriages and a true love of our husbands and the Army. We are happy to do whatever necessary to support our husbands, but we also receive love and support in return. We have careers that do not make our husbands jealous, and some of us are even the primary bread winner. We would never think of cheating, and we faithfully provide unwaivering support during deployments. We are happy! And yes, there are families who face struggles, but the community really does come together to help out.

Please do not think that I take the stories in this book lightly. They represent a serious problem, and the women who made it out the other side have true strength that I can only imagine. Not one of thesen women "got what was coming to them", as some people indicated in the book. These stories are horrible and things like this do happen. My point is this: This is not a picture of "The Army". It is not the whole story and it is not the norm in military life. This is the story of a small group from a brief period of time in one town. To imply that the story of such a microscopic minority of Army wives is indicative of what all Army wives face is unfair, misleading, and small-minded. Not one happy person was interviewed, not one happy story was told. Call me and I will tell you how happy I have been with the military life, struggles and complaints included. I will tell you about the military couples that I know who love and support each other, no matter what. They face trials and struggles, but they are in it for the long haul. The one positive thing I can say about this story is that it has made me so aware of how good I have it and so thankful to my husband for being awesome. Other than that, it made me feel sick.
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Comments

Tracked by 3 customers

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Showing 1-9 of 9 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Sep 28, 2009 10:30:05 AM PDT
E. Robinson says:
I'm in love with an Army man... what book do you recommend? I found your review extremely helpful as I've been considering several books to purchase.

Posted on May 29, 2010 12:04:14 AM PDT
Jay Blue says:
I think you're missing the point of the this book, and I don't think it's 'fair' (a word you used previously) to use your own personal experience to wholly influence the entire story. Does the book have no plot? Is the writing bad? Your comments speak of nothing on this. I think you might want to read it again, without prejudice, and see another view of life that you don't necessarily want to. Agree to disagree if you have to, but don't say it's a crappy book when it's not.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2011 4:52:46 AM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Mar 19, 2014 10:45:28 AM PDT]

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2011 4:59:37 AM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Mar 19, 2014 10:45:37 AM PDT]

In reply to an earlier post on May 17, 2011 12:27:11 PM PDT
Avid reader says:
Thank you. Didn't use the word crappy. Didn't judge the quality of the writing or plot. Simply stated that it's one-sided.

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 28, 2012 1:09:51 PM PDT
It's one sided because it's the story of tragedy and loss. The four were intentionally chosen out of a larger pool of women because their stories were compelling and that's what makes this book amazing, if sad. If you're looking for something chirpy and uplifting, I suggest you check out the chicken soup series.

Posted on Apr 28, 2013 1:34:29 PM PDT
Obviously "Avid Reader" has an ax to grind. It happens to be a great book. Maybe you should try reading it again (without the prejudice). It was written after numerous interviews with army wives, so the writer knows what she's talking about.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 19, 2014 7:23:08 AM PDT
True Story says:
Hi! My husband and I recently left the Army life, but we loved it! We wrote Marrying a Soldier: What to expect after saying I Do.

Posted on Mar 19, 2014 7:24:48 AM PDT
True Story says:
This is great insight. My hubby and I wrote Marrying a Soldier: What to expect after saying I Do. with the good, bad, and flat out strange.
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