Customer Review

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Ouch! It burns, it burns, December 5, 2008
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This review is from: Love Lickers - 1.76 oz Buttery Nipple
In the Muffin household, the first Friday of the month is usually our special night. Like many long-married couples, we are always on the look-out for that special something to spice up our otherwise tepid sex life. Our quest for sensual pleasure led us to this naughty product.

On the night in question, my excitement was such that I misread the instructions - apparently it only needed 1 minute in the microwave, not the usual 10. This error was only discovered after the scalding sauce had been liberally poured over my nether regions by Mrs M.

My screams, which had abated once the lotion cooled, were quickly reignited when my ever-helpful wife tore off the yellowy gunge, taking most of my pubic area with it. She found the whole incident terribly funny - in fact, she now refers to me as her Brazilian Butter Boy - I am less amused, although once the skin graft heals I may rediscover my sense of humour.

We dribbled the dregs over our popcorn, this proved a tastier and safer use than the one for which it was originally intended.
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Showing 1-10 of 40 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Dec 5, 2008 7:20:53 AM PST
Michael Noga says:
Did the label explicitly say NOT to microwave it for 10 minutes and then pour it on your nethers? If it didn't , maybe you can sue?

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 5, 2008 8:01:57 AM PST
Grogan says:
You're right. There was only a high-cholestral warning on the label.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 5, 2008 6:11:24 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Dec 5, 2008 6:11:39 PM PST
Ned, I have come to the conclusion that you are not qualified to participate in intimate situations -- you are incapable of handling them, apparently, infrequent though they may be.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 6, 2008 8:05:08 PM PST
Jabber says:
How dare you, how freakin' dare you!!!!!!!!! Ned Muffin is perhaps the most desireable man in all England. It is not his fault that through his generosity - he married an Albanian asylum seeker who doesn't appreciate the delicious piece of man-meat that she has. The woman is no doubt a slapper.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 6, 2008 8:06:13 PM PST
Jabber says:
Microwave is not appropriate. Mother cooks only with propane, which we enjoy in the Estates.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 6, 2008 8:07:11 PM PST
Jabber says:
Don't worry. Healthy people live poor lives of fear. Join the Chip-Eating Generation like Mother.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 6, 2008 11:10:00 PM PST
Jabber,
You are, of course, right. I have wanted him for so long, and his continued rejection of me has left me bitter.

Posted on Dec 8, 2008 8:42:45 AM PST
Michael Noga says:
Jennifer, since Ned has to work so hard to please his slapper of an Albanian wife, maybe he would appreciate being taken? If you went to him in England, at the very least he might show you the sights, maybe even Big Ben.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 8, 2008 11:08:43 AM PST
Grogan says:
I tend to have problems only when I stray into perversity.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 8, 2008 11:10:57 AM PST
Grogan says:
Quite right, Jabs, my desirability is beyond question. BTW, I have sent the Albanian asylum seeker to Hammy...he's a christmas present.
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