16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
One Manual You'll Be Glad You Read!,
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This review is from: The Mother-in-Law's Manual: Proven Strategies for Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships with Married Children (Paperback)
ANOTHER self-help book??!! Yes, but this one is amazing! Susan Leiberman's style is relaxed and comfortable, but also insightful and instructive.
Leiberman counsels "Keep your mouth shut," writes it ten times, and labels this advice the "ten most recommended rules." But she also moves on to "Seven Helpful Maxims." I particularly liked, "Don't get attached to outcomes." Simply put, Leiberman suggests, "Getting fixated on just how things should be is a set-up for disappointment." Have general goals. Think about making an adult child happy rather than exactly what you will do to make them happy.
Among the many astute metaphors that remained with me long after I read the book was this: You raised your children in your "country." Your sons and daughters- in law came of age in another "country." And now, the young couple is creating a third "country." Each has its own culture, atmosphere and values. We look aghast at Americans who go to Europe and expect everyone to speak English and serve scrambled eggs for breakfast. Why would we expect a replication of exactly the way we think things should be done in the homes of our children? It's natural to consider changes that we observe a loss, but important to and step back to get some perspective.
This is a book I am very glad to have found relatively soon after becoming a Mother-in-Law. It would be most interesting and useful to anyone who is even occasionally challenged by relationships with adult children.