Customer Review

364 of 370 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars THIS BOOK IS A GIFT FROM GOD!!, August 18, 1999
This review is from: Women Who Love Too Much (Mass Market Paperback)
Women Who Love Too Much has totally changed my entire life. I have been in search of a committed relationship for years. I have ended up in abusive, degrading relationships and had no idea how or why; more importantly, how to get out of the pattern. This book literally had my name on every page. It gives real life examples of people the author has counselled. I was able to identify with every one of them. It was so easy to see what was not working for those women when I read their stories. It is always so hard to see yourself and your own mistakes. While reading the book, I was able to clearly define moments in my life when I made mistakes, and then learned what other options there were to those situations. I was able to dissect my entire life to see when and where I learned certain "ways of being" especially in intimate relationships. Ways that were addictive and I could not stop myself. I read several sections over and over until I got every last word and could apply it to my life. The book has a section at the end that teaches you steps you can take to alter current patterns to make yourself well and strong.
I have always been extremely independent, extremely successful in business, popular, beautiful, smart and I make a lot of money. None of this had anything to do with the patterns imprinted on me from childhood that had me choose men who could not love me if they really tried. It is quite ironic. I always attracted gorgeous, successful, popular men, so you would think everything was great. But they did not love themselves and many of their own issues stemming from childhood disabled them to love someone else and treat them well. These were the only types of men I sought out and did not know it. By practicing what is taught in the book and being extremely determined (it is hard work) to take care of me first and not lose myself in a relationship, I was able to turn the whole thing around. I now have the most wonderful man on the planet. We are getting engaged and plan to be married in March of 2000. I feel as though I was blessed from the heavens. He treats me with respect, always thinks of me, does not make demands and simply is my best friend. It can actually be quite scary at times. I am so used to being the one that has to give everything.
There is another very important point I would like to make. I have a 13 year old son (I am only 32). By reading the book and applying the stories to my life and what I went through as a child and how my parents and others treated me, I was able to see how I was repeating some of those patterns with my son. At first this was beyond disturbing. I could not believe that the things that hurt me so terribly when I was young, I was now repeating. The thought that my son might grow up to be one of those men that I had dated, or worse yet, take on the same behaviors I did in an addictive relationship, was horrifying. When reading the book, I also applied the same life examination to my relationship with my son. I have altered our relationship drastically and am looking forward to raising him to be a happy, healthy man that will treat women with love, affection and support. I am giving this book to all of my friends (some men) and family for Christmas. To me, it is the greatest gift you can give someone.
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Showing 1-8 of 8 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Dec 5, 2010 12:20:51 PM PST
Gromit says:
Honest and encouraging.

Posted on Jun 20, 2012 9:30:15 PM PDT
Wow, you sound so similar to me it's scary. I haven't read the book yet but I will definitely do so now. Thanks for your openness and honesty.

Posted on Oct 29, 2013 10:00:30 PM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Nov 2, 2013 7:27:58 AM PDT]

Posted on Nov 2, 2013 5:34:59 AM PDT
Francisca says:
Thanks for your comment! I fit pretty much in your description of yourself apart from the money bit. Like you I also seem to attract men who in the end never are willing or able to love me, mostly because they are too busy with their own problems. After trying to nurse them to happiness I too want love but that is where the problems start! I can knock at the door but the house is empty, if you know what I mean. LIke you I was always the one who gave everything and they loved it but I got nothing back other than 3 failed marriages! The men I married were always needy men with great career but also with a lack of self esteem and I found them endeering but in the end the lack of character didn't suit me at all! I have to learn that they have to love themselves before they love me and to solve their problems because I can't do it for them! I really loved your review and I hope you are happy! Maybe I thought like you in 2006 but... not anymore. We did eventually get married, he is now retired but instead of the wonderful life we had planned we are getting a divorce! By the way, I am a lot older than you. I know more or less the mistakes I make, I know that I give a lot of love because I didn't have it in my youth and I hope I will get it now, I just don't know how to attract the right man! I will read this book and I really hope you have found long lasting happiness! Best of luck and thanks for your honest review. I hope your son will indeed become a wonderful man!

Posted on Feb 23, 2014 3:31:48 PM PST
[Deleted by the author on Feb 23, 2014 3:32:18 PM PST]

Posted on Oct 9, 2014 12:39:55 PM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Oct 9, 2014 12:42:21 PM PDT]

Posted on Oct 9, 2014 12:48:14 PM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Oct 9, 2014 12:48:54 PM PDT]

Posted on Oct 9, 2014 1:13:28 PM PDT
Blossom says:
I cannot wait to read the book. I am almost 50 years old and just realized my pattern of selecting emotional unavailable men in my life. Reading your comments give me great hope and strength to be very honest with myself so that I can heal and find the type of partner that enhances my life. I am so tired of trying to teach men how to treat me and being their shrink. I was insane thinking that I could culture a relationship and morph it into something than what it was...a recipe for heartache.
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