74 of 94 people found the following review helpful
Sad; no wonder marriage doesn't work for many,
This review is from: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment (Hardcover)
I spent a lot of time being amazed (and sort of, crying, or cringing with sadness) when I read this book at how selfish and entitled so many men are. It seems to me being in a relationship with a man like Steve describes would be very painful and unsatisfying. And there is no way I would want to subject a daughter or son to a man like that as a father. So, if this is what men want, I guess it just doesn't work - there's no point in being a relationship. I am so thankful for all the work that other men and women have done to get women rights to make money, own property and take care of myself so I don't have to be demeaned and devalued in this way just in order to survive.
Steve's "Protect, Profess and Provide" desire is understandable but what I don't think he gets is that there is so much more to relationship. Also, it is ridiculous and obnoxious that he sees this as something unique to men. Women "Protect, Profess and Provide" all the time. Many mothers do this constantly with children, and alas many fathers do not - something is very wrong with that picture!
Good quality relationships between adults require much more: intimacy, autonomy, self-determination, personal responsibility and choice (for both parties!) if they are to have any meaning. And to last, each person must have the capacity to accept and understand the other. Finally, nurturing/mentoring skills in both men and women are critical. I see our jobs as parents to raise our children to have these skills and abilities.
The ultimate irony in this for Steve is that I am almost certain that he is missing the experience of knowing a truly feminine woman. His controlling, primitive, childish, male superiority attitude will almost certainly prevent a woman revealing her true nature to him. A man must really be a "man," and not a boy, to know "woman."
But I guess that's the point, he doesn't really want to know a woman, he just wants to gratify himself, no?
Sad that Steve is promoting these primitive views; I suspect he could singlehandedly fuel a Fourth Wave of feminism - now that's an accomplishment!
For another view on how much of this behavior is borne of male entitlement and privilege and the hope that some men are able to handle a more equal type of partnership, see "Why Does He Do That: Inside The Minds of Angry & Controlling Men"
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Showing 1-6 of 6 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Oct 8, 2009 10:16:44 PM PDT
So true. I don't like men like that. They seem insecure so they take it out on women.
Posted on Dec 13, 2009 11:55:22 AM PST
Paula L says:
You shouldn't cry over this book. This man is an ass and there are plenty of good and kind men out there!
In reply to an earlier post on Jul 6, 2012 5:31:28 AM PDT
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In reply to an earlier post on Jul 6, 2012 5:32:44 AM PDT
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In reply to an earlier post on Jul 6, 2012 5:33:22 AM PDT
[Deleted by Amazon on Jul 9, 2012 4:01:37 PM PDT]
Posted on Feb 10, 2015 7:44:47 PM PST
I agree. Sexist book written by a weak man. All he does is blame women. This book was so bad, I returned it.
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