128 of 143 people found the following review helpful
Kathleen Parker is a great woman who has given us a huge transfusion of truth,
This review is from: Save the Males: Why Men Matter Why Women Should Care (Hardcover)
I read this book in two sittings. I could not put it down. Kathleen Parker comes out into the open and talks plainly regarding a phenomenon about which a great many American women are in denial: that over the past 40 years feminism and its evil twin political correctness have tweaked our culture in a decidedly anti-male direction. Lots of laughs for women who hate men, maybe, and as Kathleen herself told me, "a huge bonding agent for women."
Swell. But I have a message for all those "Jerry Maguire" American women out there who meet to congratulate each other on being women and to vilify men: we American men are beyond sick of it, and getting mad enough to fight back. You want that? Because here's the form that the "fighting back" will take: we'll go elsewhere to meet women. If despising us is how you puff yourselves up, who needs you?
That's a little blunt, but it needs saying. I'm an American man, and in a perfect world I would dearly love to value and honor the women of my own country. But I can't. Not now, anyway. Kathleen is absolutely correct: American women have made such a fetish of themselves, and of blaming men for all of their problems including those they bring upon themselves,that in recent years I have wondered why on earth American men should want to have anything to do with them. I'm married, so I don't have to worry about such things, (and yes, I am married to an American woman.) But I don't blame my fellow American men for going on the Internet and seeking female companions in Europe, South America or the Phillipines. I once adopted a cat who turned out to be so violently hostile to me that I returned it to its original owners. I wanted a companion, not a live-in enemy.
Kathleen is on-point and on-target when she makes it clear that American men want companions, not live-in enemies. And we're tired of being depicted on TV and in the movies as clueless dolts, incompetent bumblers, witless brutes and green-fanged rapists. It's no longer cute or funny, not that it ever was. Don't treat us with contempt and then expect us to call you for dates. And don't accuse us of seeking "submissive dewdrops" if we go seeking women who won't try to emasculate us in order to make themselves feel "liberated."
Kathleen told me that young women in America are her greatest hope. Because she sees among them, from what they say to her when she speaks on college campuses, a realization that our society has indeed become anti-male, and on the whole they're not comfortable with it. The "sisterhood" of the '60s and '70s, that baby-boomer generation of screechy feminists who took over the national conversation about gender relations about 40 years ago, is getting old. So is its radical message. Most of the original goals of 1960s feminism have long since been achieved. But the graying "sisterhood" has perpetuated male-bashing as a way of continuing to justify its existence (not to mention its government subsidies.) It's my hope that the upcoming generation of young women who weren't around when Robin Morgan and her ilk began spewing hate-men rhetoric, will manage to get things in this country back on an even keel. If I can't see that, I'd like to see a mass-migration of American men to Argentina or Madagascar or some other place where they aren't vilified and ridiculed everywhere they turn. I'll coordinate the effort if no other guy wants to. Let me know, guys. Let's leave these man-hating women to each other if needs be. Maybe that will send them a message.
Men and women need each other. And children need both parents. That's an idea that predates by perhaps 100,000 years the attempts by "the sisterhood" to create a unisex society, with the predictable by-product of skewing popular culture in such a way that women's self-obsessed whining becomes sacrosact, and men are always and everywhere The Villain. Equality is well and good; interchangeability is a radical feminist fantasy. Men and women are different. Period. Equal but different. Kathleen Parker's book should be dropped from airplanes by the thousands of copies all over this unwell land in which having a penis instead of a vagina is too often considered a social faux-pas that needs to be corrected.
In short, Kathleen is trying to re-introduce sanity to a society that has embraced this particular form of insanity and made it chic. I don't hold out a lot of hope, but I wish her all luck.
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Showing 1-10 of 40 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Jul 12, 2008 5:17:38 PM PDT
Interchangibility is not the goal of even most ardent feminists. That's a strawman.
By all means, let's let men and women live together in harmony. Feminism, broadly defined, is not antithetical to this goal.
In reply to an earlier post on Jul 26, 2008 9:25:35 AM PDT
Martian Bachelor says:
> let's let men and women live together in harmony. Feminism, broadly defined, is not antithetical to this goal.
Sure it is. One unfortunate legacy of feminism has been the idea that men and women are basically enemies. It took advantage of the fact that men really don't like fighting women very much, and in fact have a strong aversion to doing so.
So, we now have an entire nation of women who speak or roar in once voice about empowering themselves, rising up against men, who are their appointed enemy. The women have a list of grievances a mile long that starts with having been treated as property and ends with whatever last thing you did that upset them, like not running downstairs to switch the laundry to the dryer the instant the buzzer sounded. In every facet of adult life the problems women face are caused by men. In every aspect of a relationship, the good comes from women, the bad from men. At work, a woman deserves advancement and men who deny her meteoric rise are sexist throwbacks intent on keeping women knocked up and without footwear. These women who conspire to denounce men will approach dating the same way, so that if you take exception to their obnoxious animosity towards men generally and yourself as one, you are dismissed as one of the bad men no woman will ever love until his brain has undergone a feminist lobotomy, or mental castration.
Men don't fight back, they withdraw, vanish into the woodwork. Then women go "where are all the good men?"...
Posted on Aug 2, 2008 8:51:41 AM PDT
Victor Ferreira says:
I just finished reading Save the Males and was going to write a review, but you beat me to the punch. Your review is EXACTLY what I wanted to say! I'm nearing 50 years of age, never married and, frankly, I wonder why on Earth a woman wants a man when most of them view men as drooling perverts. I may not go to the Philippines to get a wife, and I am not interested in a barefoot, pregnant doormat submissive wifey-wifey. But too many American women I meet hold the most revolting attitudes about men that I am just not interested in spending time with them. I live in New Jersey, and here all a woman has to do to put me in handcuffs is dial a phone number and I'll be behind bars before I'm even charged with a crime. I am always uncomfortable when my friends ask me why I am still not married. Now I will simply tell them to read Parker's book. I am sick and tired of trying to come up with an answer that is socially suitable. Parker's book says it all. And your review is spot-on perfect!
Posted on Oct 29, 2008 5:51:37 PM PDT
Posted on Nov 2, 2008 10:33:35 AM PST
Okay you guys. I am a feminist. And before you scoff and immediately jump to the conclusion that I'm a bra burning, man hating psycho hose beast, let me just tell you something that you seem to be completely missing.
Feminism: the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
I.e. we DON'T hate men. Frankly we don't care much about you one way or the other. All we want is rights equal to those of men. You may say "well you've achieved that so quit your complaining. But to be perfectly honest, we haven't. The media continues to objectify women in every way. Women still get paid less than men do, even in the same positions. Women in the FLDS church are tortured and confined to the home. The percentages of rapes of women are still ridiculously high.
I will say it again. I do not hate men. I don't even hate sexist men. My best guy friends all try to get a rise out of me by telling sexist jokes and often I catch them making sexist comments that aren't jokes at all.
Feminism is purely an individual struggle. It's just women and men (many men are feminists) working for equal rights between the sexes. Please do not take it personally, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. In Betty Friedan's famous book "The Feminine Mystique" It is said that we need to "recognize and respect the abilities and functions of each sex". Meaning, women do not want to be men (please don't kid yourselves) we are women and we are different, however we deserve equal respect. (If you do not know who Betty Friedan is, then please read up about her before you decide to reply)
That's all that feminism is.
Please get your facts straight.
In reply to an earlier post on Dec 1, 2008 11:00:17 AM PST
Victor Ferreira says:
"...I'm a bra burning, man hating psycho hose beast..."
That's rather clever. I have a question: As a feminist, have you ever fought for a woman's right to be forced to sign up for Selective Service (you know...the DRAFT)?
In reply to an earlier post on Dec 17, 2008 12:22:32 PM PST
You state "we DON'T hate men," followed by, "we don't care much about you," followed by, "all we want is rights equal to those of men."
I'm no psychologist, but that series of statements seem ironically hypocritical.
And it is within this detail that we men can clearly realize the irrelevance of Friedan's work in the new millennium. And before you scoff and immediately jump to the conclusion that I'm a womanizing, pot-bellied, beer guzzling, low down, dirty, dog-minded, cock with a brain in my pants, let me just tell you something that you seem to be completely missing.
To understand this quagmire, perhaps men and women should take the time to define "rights." Seeking a right to be equal does not and cannot include with it a right to simultaneously be rewarded without merit. To allow such nonsense would curtail the equality, meritocracy, and freedom movements for all of us.
Let's try to make an analogy. We have a kid in line at an ice cream truck. The kid has been waiting in line for several minutes. The kid waited patiently and caused absolutely no trouble; essentially minding it's own business. Just before this kid makes it to the window, another kid with a parent cuts right in front of the line - puts money down on the counter, gets the ice cream, and are gone as fast as they appeared.
Then the kid who was waiting finally gets his ice cream. He goes to the nearest curb and cries as he tries to enjoy his "treat for the day."
In this analogy, the ice cream truck is the place of employment, the parent with a kid is feminism and a female respectively, and the crying kid is an individual male. This happens every single day in an office. It happens to women and it happens to men, too.
Whether or not you feminists, "don't care much about [us]," we men have already demonstrated our caring for you.
You see Libby; your fight is not with the working everyday male that you see when you go outside. Ian, Martin, and Nathan (above) are not your enemy. Yet you seem to think you deserve a cookie because you claim to not hate these men? As if your assurance is exactly what we have been sitting here waiting to hear?
No Libby. You need to get your facts straight.
Your fight is with the institutionally male organizations, governments and companies. They are the one's who try to save a buck at the expense of your demographic. They are the one's that create oppressive organizations like the FLDS. They are the ones who think that any number of rapes greater than zero is acceptable - for women and men - both inside and outside of prison! They are the ones making women think they need to look like a Barbie doll. Come to think of it - do you think that Barbie is more damaging to a young female than Bratz dolls? (I'm actually curious on this one ;)
You attempt to close by saying that a goal of feminism is to "deserve equal respect."
Well let me tell you something that may blow your mind...
If you don't respect yourself enough to stop being the referee and jury in your own game, then you never deserved to compete in the first place.
Posted on Dec 30, 2008 4:18:29 AM PST
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Posted on Dec 31, 2008 6:30:56 AM PST
In reply to an earlier post on Jan 7, 2009 8:10:13 AM PST
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