Customer Review

410 of 452 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Fifty Shades Fre- ajnfkf Oh God why am I still reading this??!!!, July 10, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades Freed: Book Three of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
What a treat this book was. We get to experience their dreamy wedding, including a totally inappropriate scene in front of the minister and all their wedding guests, in a series of flashbacks. They are on a dream honeymoon and already Anastasia is afraid of her husband's temper. It's never a good sign in a relationship if you are afraid of your partner or have to walk on eggshells around them. But it's alright. He has lots of money and is super beautiful and perfect, as we are reminded yet again on every single page, so as always with her, it's fine! He's just damaged! Her damaged dark little fifty. Ugh. Where's a shotgun when you need one?

The descriptions of her subconscious and inner goddess and what they are doing get oddly more specific with each book, to the point where it's just bizarre and annoying. Her subconscious at one point looked up from reading `The Complete works of Charles Dickens', to give Anastasia an admonishing look no doubt. It's not cute anymore. I usually have to put the book down after reading one of these gems and take a deep breath before I throw it. Oh, and her Inner Goddess reads Jackie Collins, in case you were wondering

In all three books now we are treated with the `No you hang up!' barf fest.

Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. It's like all these two know is sex and jealousy. Every woman is jonesing after Christian all the time. And it's ok for him to get so irrationally possessive he buys her company, but if she shows a hint of jealousy with him, it's all *Tsk-tsk*

It is never romantic when your husband says he really wants to beat you. He says that lovely line after someone broke into her home. Victim blaming, anyone? I don't care if he is mad, which is totally misplaced most of the time. All of the time actually. He gets angry because she disobeys orders. He gets angry if she has a disagreeing opinion. He gets angry cause she wants to work. On top of that, she has to ask his permission to do anything. To go to work, to drive her car, to see her friend, to have fun. She is a grown woman. Does she know this is not how marriage works? That this isn't the 18th century anymore? And can I just say wow, at his reaction when she tells him she's pregnant. I'm surprised she didn't divorce him right then and there. But then again, she is always making excuses for his atrocious behavior. This relationship disgusts me.

Once again, the plot is more of an afterthought, which I should have known better by now. It takes forever to get there, and when it does, it's so stupid it's laughable. And then all is well in Ana and Christian Land and they live happily ever after and we have to read a terrible epilogue anyways, filled with pregnant sex. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse. I knew I should have stopped reading at the end of the book. And then we are treated to this delightful little nugget: "I think she likes sex already." Yup. That's them talking about their unborn child right after they had pregnant sex.

You are welcome everybody.

Now I need to go read something good, or at least marginally better to get rid of the taste this awful book left in my mouth.
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Comments

Tracked by 6 customers

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Showing 1-10 of 38 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Aug 20, 2012 10:58:45 PM PDT
Jen1234 says:
I couldn't finish this book, and after reading your final paragraph, I am happy that I gave up. Yikes.

Posted on Sep 7, 2012 4:42:51 PM PDT
Sacha says:
absolutely hilarious review! I "smirked" at having taken book1 out of the library. It is junk. Probably with better editing it could have summoned up a few fantasies, but all the book did was remind everyone that abusive relationships lead to abusive sex and a life of hell and maybe a lot of women can indeed relate to that. Of course the sequel somewhere along the way after bedeviled Ana gets past her addictions
will be a War of the Roses divorce. She has to grow a pair first though.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 7, 2012 4:46:17 PM PDT
C. Odell says:
Haha, thanks. If I remember right, she didn't get a prenup. Maybe that's been her game all along...

Posted on Oct 8, 2012 3:20:24 PM PDT
Kenna says:
Oh, but at the end it's all perfect - didn't you notice? Suddenly he's a nice, nice man.

These books were very frustrating for me. It was just a lot of the same sayings, the same immaturity, even the same sex. And she can't even go four or five days without before going crazy, which just baffles me.

I finished the series simply because I started it and I didn't want to stop halfway in. I rolled my eyes - yes rolled my eyes - at most of the plot and even the 'intense' scenes left me bored. The biggest rise it got out of me was all of the different was I, personally, would have told Mr. Grey off.

I have read trashy Harlequin romance books with better plots than this so-called story has. That's kind of sad.

But to each their own, I guess.

Posted on Oct 11, 2012 1:42:29 AM PDT
Miss Jo says:
I kicked myself for paying to read about abuse-disguised-as-romance. Heaven help young impressionable women who read this. There is every excuse made by abusers under the sun to be used in this trilogy. The "I had a bad childhood", the "I just don't want anyone else to have you", the "If you really cared you wouldn't abandon me like my...(add crack whore mother here), the "I only control your every eye movement/wardrobe/name/place of employment/ability to control your orgasms because I love you".
And yes, the pregnant sex in the room of pain made me feel violated as a reader. The author's decision to have Ana say ,"Our daughter likes sex already", prompted me to put this piece of trash where it belongs. In the bin. Sick. Sick. Sick.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 11, 2012 4:25:46 PM PDT
C. Odell says:
My sentiments exactly! Haha. Their relationship was not healthy, let alone romantic, but I think if people keep reading things like this they think maybe it is. Or not, who knows... It's nice to know I'm not the only one with some sense out there though!

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2012 12:59:18 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Oct 12, 2012 1:00:56 AM PDT
Miss Jo says:
Exactly! I normally save my books for friends, but as a human being, I decided that this trilogy could be more humanely used as:
a) Compost
b) Toilet paper
c) Recycling - in an effort to rid the planet of a pulp fiction that is truly setting women's rights/anti-domestic violence movements back 100 years.

Posted on Oct 30, 2012 10:19:17 PM PDT
T. Spencer says:
[Customers don't think this post adds to the discussion. Show post anyway. Show all unhelpful posts.]

Posted on Nov 2, 2012 2:19:02 PM PDT
pookeyjay says:
First book was good, second book ok, third book I won't bother finishing, been reading it for 3 weeks, I can't get through it, I'm just going to give up. Read CJ Roberts books in 3 days, I love them-that author problem is her freaking titles something about dark, her books are better written then any 50 book.

Posted on Nov 6, 2012 5:34:26 PM PST
Your review was perfect! I only finished the last book because I felt I had to. About 200 pages in I was wondering what on earth the author had almost 400 more pages to write about?? Turns out it was a waste! Ana and Christian's relationship is a joke! Barf fest and shoot me now please. I was skipping the sex scenes because even those bored me towards the end. The first book was extremely fun and the second one was ok but the last one is just overdoing it.
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