Customer Review

760 of 874 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Repetitive and redundant., March 14, 2012
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This review is from: Fifty Shades Darker (Fifty Shades, Book 2) (Kindle Edition)
Someone please give this author a thesaurus and an editing team that cares. It's not just that the same actions are repeated over and over (and over... and over again), it's that the same words are used to describe them every time. It's like someone put 50 words in a bag, pulled them out and mashed them into a semblance of a sentence, then tossed them back in the bag and repeated the process to fill 300+ pages.
Inspired by another review I actually used my Kindle to count the ones that were most painful/annoying to read:

Lips bitten: 25
Eyes widened: 21
Eyes rolled: 51
"oh my": 45
Scowls: 48
Gasps: 62
"jeez": 76
Smirks: 91
Flushes/blushes: 133
F-bombs dropped: 173
Whispers: 251

Do the math! Lips are bitten and eyes are widened in every chapter. Someone gasps once every six pages. The main character "flushes" at least once every three pages.

Yes, the British author uses British colloquialisms that make no sense in the Pacific Northwest. Yes, the female protagonist is two dimensional and boring. Yes, her leading man is given a forced and contrived backstory in an unnecessary attempt to make sense of his kinkiness in a vanilla world. The sex scene was okay the first time I read it, but by the time it was recycled for the twelfth time or so it was just boring. And yes, in between the repetitions listed above the author inexplicably throws whatever was on her "word a day calendar" into character conversation where it sounds silly and awkward. But none of these things really destroy a good book quite like reading "I flush" for the hundredth time. Oh my!

Apologies to the fans out there. Imagine I'm writing this review with an "apologetic smirk."
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Tracked by 9 customers

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Showing 1-10 of 200 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Mar 16, 2012 3:15:28 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 16, 2012 3:15:59 PM PDT
Nutmeg mom says:
Thank you for the Kindle count. That really cracked me up. I read the first book and was not a fan. I am looking for a spoiler to find out why Christian is the way he is...what happened in his past. It makes me sad to think that so many of my friends think this is great reading. I have read good erotica, and this seems more like porn than erotica. But that is just my opinion. Thanks for yours.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 16, 2012 3:54:12 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 3, 2012 5:55:03 AM PDT
Ebeth822 says:
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER:

his drug addicted mother neglected him, his father was absent, his mothers pimp beat the crap out of him. He resented his mom for not protecting him. Then she died and the pimp left him alone in the house with her corpse. Eventually protective services picked him up and took him to the ER, where he was treated for malnutrition, etc. and the ER doctor adopted him.

He was very withdrawn and angry as a child due to the abuse he received before his mom died. He also has night terrors, deep seated feelings of self loathing, and a phobia of being touched. As an adolescent he got into fights at school. At age 15 he was doing some light manual labor for his mom's friend. She slapped him, kissed him, then slapped him again - all at once - and a fling was born.

He took to bdsm as a way to control things and protect himself from all his childhood fears. He picks petite, pale brunettes as subs because they look like his birth mom. In effect, it makes him feel better to exorcise his anger and resentment by beating the crap out of - and then banging - a stand-in for his mother. Which, in my opinion, is NOT a sexy twist on the bdsm story line.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 16, 2012 10:49:39 PM PDT
Nutmeg mom says:
Thank you so much!

Posted on Mar 17, 2012 4:04:41 PM PDT
Cyndra says:
Both your reviews are so funny and true the repetitive words got in the way of the story for me.Thank you for the spoiler on Darker I knew I couldn't get through the annoying words again and again!

Posted on Mar 21, 2012 12:28:11 PM PDT
What about the number of times Ana "clambered" in and out of bed/an Audi/Christian's lap?

The other one that drove me nuts was Ana's or Christian's hands "fisting" in each other's hair. Oof.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 21, 2012 1:33:09 PM PDT
Ebeth822 says:
Yeah, there is a LOT of non-sexual fisting in this book. She couldn't think of any other way to describe grabbing a handful of hair??

Fist count: 14

Posted on Mar 21, 2012 10:07:53 PM PDT
A. M. Rado says:
I think I love you.

Thank you thank you thank you for the review. I was starting to think everyone had lost their minds, or maybe I lost my own. Sanity shattered after being confronted with the first abomination of a "novel."

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 24, 2012 3:39:59 PM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Mar 24, 2012 3:44:22 PM PDT]

Posted on Mar 24, 2012 8:23:34 PM PDT
AEL says:
Man, that's disappointing! I came to check out these reviews because I'm currently reading the first book and all the things you mentioned are really getting on my nerves...and I was hoping maybe the author got some feedback on the first book and fixed the issue/got a new editor/whatever. Apparently not. Guess I won't be buying the second book...

Posted on Mar 28, 2012 6:37:44 PM PDT
OMG! I agree with you 100 percent, where is the editing for these books?? Honestly, if you bit your lip and blushed that many times, would anyone find you attractive? I found these books boring, not sexy at all. The characters were uninspiring to say the least!
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