1,982 of 2,033 people found the following review helpful
If only Heracles had such power!,
This review is from: AudioQuest K2 Terminated Speaker Cable - UST 2.44 m Plugs 8' Pair (Old Version) (Electronics)If there is one cable I would whole-heartedly trust to my Chimera-hunting needs, this would be the cable. No other cable has the tensile strength to properly and efficiently garrote a lycanthrope, asphyxiate an Esquilax or even gag a mermaid. Last week, using my trusty AudioQuest K2 (retrofitted with lead weights, bright orange latex paint and a generous coating of crushed glass stolen from the window of an abandoned church at midnight), I managed to snuff 3 golden unicorns in swift succession!
Pros: Quickly tears through scales, fur, bone, and adamantium with ease
Coils and uncoils from hip holster (optional) quickly and quietly
For a product fabricated from 1,000 Onyx Dragon fetuses, the price is unbelievably reasonable!
Cons: Shipping from the R'lyeh took far too long
Doesn't come in 10' lengths (which would be perfect for hydra, cerberii and other multi-headed creatures)
After every use, I can feel 6 ounces of my soul slipping from my core into the ether. But this may be due to the fact that I prefer to work without gloves. YMMV.
Overall, I would recommend that any hunter buy one, nay, two, of these immediately, and experience the difference that upgrading to the K2 will make in your next quest!
Tracked by 4 customers
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Showing 1-10 of 15 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Jul 5, 2009 6:45:00 PM PDT
Best. Comment. Ever.
Posted on Sep 16, 2009 10:06:00 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 16, 2009 10:07:53 PM PDT
Dallas Tanner says:
Valannin - why aren't you turning out some of the best and most biting parodic sarcasm this side of Dennis Miller? I would buy a grocery list from you - c'mon, let me know when and where I can buy a book of yours! I read your review on "The Lost Symbol" and had the best time ever browsing Amazon. You wouldn't even need your 7 grand speaker wires to wrangle in a bunch of readers. Thanx!!!
Posted on Sep 20, 2009 5:09:09 AM PDT
please review other things for us. you are more entertaining than any form of media I've purchased so far this year.
Posted on Oct 4, 2009 12:05:58 AM PDT
I've appeared here through your Lost Symbol review... agreed with everyone else, you are Amazon's greatest reviewer of the schlock people sell (and evidently people buy). Please review more! I promise to say "Yes" to all of them!
Posted on Oct 5, 2009 11:58:53 AM PDT
I to came here from the Lost Symbol Review... Best review ever.
Not knowing what you actually do for a living (and how much you make), perhaps you should start a review blog? I believe you could easily develop a large following and make lots of $$$ with ads on your site.
Anyhow, I hope to read more reviews from you in the future.
Posted on May 11, 2010 12:19:31 AM PDT
[Deleted by the author on May 11, 2010 12:32:14 AM PDT]
Posted on Nov 17, 2010 9:58:06 AM PST
What's the problem? I can gag a mermaid without the use of foreign objects.
In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2010 7:09:35 AM PST
Paul Cassel says:
He is a teacher in the NYC public schools. I think he's a 'he', anyway.
In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2010 9:34:04 AM PST
... and a fantastic (review) writer.
Posted on Nov 28, 2010 5:18:08 PM PST
S. Jehlik says:
You rat. I tried garroting a lycanthrope with these cables and it broke free and ate my arm. I hold you entirely responsible.