Winter Driving Best Books of the Month Valentine's Day Shop Learn more nav_sap_SWP_6M_fly_beacon $5 Albums easycohice_2016 All-New Amazon Fire TV Beauty V-Day Valentine's Day Cards Knock snow out cold Amazon Gift Card Offer chiraq chiraq chiraq  Amazon Echo All-New Fire Kindle Paperwhite Prime Exclusive Savings in Video Games Winter Sports on Amazon.com SnS
Customer Review

832 of 952 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars A girl, a guy and a bird., February 6, 2012
This review is from: Shatter Me (Hardcover)
Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
This review will take the form of prose, in the style of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but with examples taken from the story itself.

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

I hate thee for thine bizarro, unpunctuated, over-the-top prose that peppers this story from page one on.

'I hate the lackadaisical ennui of a sun too preoccupied with itself to notice the infinite hours we spend in its presence.' P. 26

I hate thee for talking about a bird, every couple of pages, thereby adding a mysterious, crazy-girl ambiance when the reader already knows Juliette is a tinfoil hat away from crazytown.

'There will be a bird today.' P. 9

'There will be a bird.' P. 11

'Maybe a bird will fly today.' P. 28

'Birds used to fly.' P. 36

I've dreamt about the same bird flying through the same sky for exactly 10 years.' P. 36

'I don't know how to find the white bird.' P. 113

'I glance at the window and wonder if I'll ever see a bird fly by.' P. 115

'A white bird with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head. It's flying.' P. 120

'I'm the bird and I'm flying away.' P. 121

'I need to see the bird.' P. 176

I hate thee to the level of shoving this book into a composter, after finishing a particularly silly part about Adam's manly chest and Juliette's need to snuggle.

'My face is pressed against his chest and the world is suddenly bigger, beautiful - -the entire universe stops in place and spins the other direction and I'm the bird.' (Gah, that darned bird again!).

I hate thee with a passion put to use with my trusty highligher pen as the story veered from events and people into waiting and Juliette's 'pulse pounding romance' (back cover of the book) which wasn't very romantic or pulse pounding.

'the sun and the moon have merged and the earth is upside down. I feel like I can be exactly who I want to be in his arms. '

I hate thee with a bitterness that seemed to grow as I had to read almost 51 pages of purple prose before something really happens.

'Warner Stops walking. "I want you on my team."
'We're in the middle of a war,' he says a little impatiently.'

With my lost time, the hours I spent on this book can never be regained, and so, I think, even unto death, I shall hate thee more.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

[Add comment]
Post a comment
To insert a product link use the format: [[ASIN:ASIN product-title]] (What's this?)
Amazon will display this name with all your submissions, including reviews and discussion posts. (Learn more)
Name:
Badge:
This badge will be assigned to you and will appear along with your name.
There was an error. Please try again.
Please see the full guidelines here.

Official Comment

As a representative of this product you can post one Official Comment on this review. It will appear immediately below the review wherever it is displayed.   Learn more
The following name and badge will be shown with this comment:
 (edit name)
After clicking the Post button you will be asked to create your public name, which will be shown with all your contributions.

Is this your product?

If you are the author, artist, manufacturer or an official representative of this product, you can post an Official Comment on this review. It will appear immediately below the review wherever it is displayed.  Learn more
Otherwise, you can still post a regular comment on this review.

Is this your product?

If you are the author, artist, manufacturer or an official representative of this product, you can post an Official Comment on this review. It will appear immediately below the review wherever it is displayed.   Learn more
 
System timed out

We were unable to verify whether you represent the product. Please try again later, or retry now. Otherwise you can post a regular comment.

Since you previously posted an Official Comment, this comment will appear in the comment section below. You also have the option to edit your Official Comment.   Learn more
The maximum number of Official Comments have been posted. This comment will appear in the comment section below.   Learn more
Prompts for sign-in
 

Comments

Tracked by 8 customers

Sort: Oldest first | Newest first
Showing 1-10 of 57 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Apr 17, 2012 11:22:19 AM PDT
Teapot1997 says:
maybe You should write a book or a blog or do your dissertation on "shatter me a la Browning". I enjoyed your comments more than the book and have read it a dozen times. Thanks for a great laugh!

Posted on Apr 17, 2012 11:23:09 AM PDT
Teapot1997 says:
maybe You should write a book or a blog or do your dissertation on "shatter me a la Browning". I enjoyed your comments more than the book and have read it a dozen times. Thanks for a great laugh!

Posted on Apr 19, 2012 6:07:59 PM PDT
Bkrdr50 says:
Good review! Made me grin :)

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 20, 2012 10:49:39 AM PDT
Thanks all, glad to help out, one review at a time!

Posted on Apr 20, 2012 12:48:52 PM PDT
Tgc says:
Hahaha. Your review should cost more than the actual book. It was more interesting. Definitely 5 stars for this review. =)

Posted on Apr 21, 2012 11:14:57 PM PDT
Paphian says:
That was a seriously fantastic review. I totally agree with Teapot1997 - you need to write more! Loved it. People keep recommending this book to me, however, none of the mentioned THE BIRD. I'm out.

Posted on Apr 22, 2012 8:23:55 PM PDT
R. L. Oliver says:
Hilarious. I love it.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2012 9:35:21 AM PDT
Thanks, R.L. Oliver

Paphian - there were more instances of the bird, if you can believe that! But I decided to crop the review, it was getting looong.

Posted on May 3, 2012 8:40:54 PM PDT
CeeCee says:
Best review I have ever read! You had me at, "How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways." Thanks for saving me the money.

Posted on Jun 7, 2012 10:16:27 AM PDT
Thanks for the warning. I may have smashed my Kindle 5 pages in if I'd bought this and saw that style of writing.
‹ Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next ›

Review Details

Item

Reviewer


Location: United States of America

Top Reviewer Ranking: 1,477