6 of 30 people found the following review helpful
I'm Happy That Maynerd Stopped Touring With His Side Project Called TooL to Focus Exclusively on Puscifer!,
This review is from: Donkey Punch the Night (Audio CD)
Finally...Maynerd has come back to Puscifer! I am the world's biggest, baddest and raddest Puscifer fan because I bought some of their T-shirts and other merchandise like a keychain or two. For too many years, I've been very angry that Maynerd has been wasting his time with that no-talent, no-good alt-metal band called TooL, which is his side project. TooL is just a joke band meant to explore Maynerd's restless side of himself, which includes his wineries and his restaurants (Fatburger). That's why he plays with those studio musicians called Danny Carey, Adam Jones and, worst of all, Justin Champion.
Sure TooL has its place--in Burger King!--but it's nowhere near as awesome as the progressive metal styling of Puscifer, a REAL metal band that deserves to be heard by everyone at least once in their lives! You see, Puscifer, which was formed by Maynerd back in 1992 when its first EP came out, is a near-mystical band that writes only the most philosophical and highly intelligent lyrics about v/ag/in/as and the like, which is subject matter that is only for high-minded music fans. TooL, on the other hand, writes horrible music about digital penetration (Stinkfisting) and a/n/a/l cavity temperatures (4 Degrees!). Puscifer is THE real band for intelligent music and lyrics, on the other hand.
Check out the extreme artistry and absolute, mystical beauty of Puscifer's Bohemian Rhapsody remix! The band simply lazily recycles Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, changes around a few notes here and there, and then turns it into a worse offering than the original! OMG! OMG! This is exactly why Puscifer is the greatest progressive metal band of all time, dawg. Check out the even better Breathe Duracell Rework. As the title already implies, sucka, the band just takes an existing work titled "Breathe Duracell" and then adds some sound effects here and there to make it their own rework! Amazing...simply awesome sauce, dawg.
I hope Maynerd never, ever goes back to that awful side project and waste of time called TooL because it's clear that he belongs with this real band called Puscifer. If you want near-divine progressive metal and lyrics so cryptic that you need to spend years on Internet message boards to decode them, buy this CD from Amazon right now, even though you have less money in your pocket because Obama has made sure that more people than ever are out of work with almost 8-percent unemployment.
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Showing 1-5 of 5 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Feb 19, 2013 7:03:33 PM PST
Maynard Grew up Now its time for Tool fans to do the Same. Do not get me wrong they have Great music and even better Concert. But just like trent has done it is time to progress not stay stay the same like Tools Set list for the last 7 years. I have seen them more than a dozen times and they have only changed 2 sets! Yawn! No wonder the fanshave to get so drunk they just WHOOOO for the entire set. I have all the evidence on tape if you need to hear it! That being said i will but to next Tool cd when it comes out as well as se them live They Have To Do New Songs this Time!
Posted on Feb 20, 2013 4:36:10 PM PST
Dear Gilby Mitnick the third Jr., Excellent review. Wit and sarcasm, eloquently stated. Nicely Done. unfortunate that more folks dont have a sense of humor. Cheers.
Posted on Feb 21, 2013 1:16:35 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Feb 21, 2013 1:18:48 PM PST
Your review was hilarious. I don't agree with it (aside from the comments related to the "Bohemian Rhapsody" remix), but I thought it was hilarious. Nicely done.
Posted on Feb 21, 2013 5:13:14 PM PST
"Sure TooL has its place--in Burger King!"
Posted on Apr 9, 2013 9:56:15 AM PDT
Race E. Baker says:
I am glad to see that Pearl Jam's Twiggy Rodriguez and trusty sidekick James Jong Un have stayed with Puscifer through the thick and thin! Hopefully Maynerd will kiss that waste of time Tool goodbye and focus more on his main project. Appreciate the review!
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