FWIW, this psychologist doesn't agree with you. If you truly considered it projection, it wouldn't have had nearly (let alone arguably any depending on your emotional maturity) the effect it obviously had on you. Clearly it touches a nerve, which should, in a healthy, self-aware person, lead one to further examine their negative tendencies. I realize it's difficult to face, but sadly we all have "negative" aspects to our personality. I do (TRUST me...lol), you do, everyone does. The trick is to manage and learn from them. Ironically, the one quote you chose to include has lead me to consider this book a good resource and a potential purchase. She seems to have nailed proper emotional/social growth as based on the works of psychologists like Maslow and many others. I'm not trying to be harsh, but you spoke for psychologists and I wanted to set the record straight.
P.S. Being "selfish, etc." isn't necessarily bad, it's all in terms of what is considered maladaptive. You need a certain amount of those qualities to properly take care of your own needs. It's when they get out of balance that you begin to have difficulties, a point that it sounds like she was trying to make.