4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
This film should not have been made.,
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This review is from: Collision Earth (Amazon Instant Video)
Save for when I was 5 years old and too young to know better, this film had to be an embarrassment to many of those involved. Please remember the following names: John Prince and Paul Ziller. They were the Producer and Director, respectively, of Collision Earth. I ask that you remember them because I think it is unlikely that you will ever see or hear their names again. Also please note that the names of the Producer and Director were flashed onto the screen for less than one second each during the opening credits but their names appear nowhere in the ending credits.
This was a rather low budget film, but the budget should have been much lower because they had enough money to spend on this film to make it even worse than it could have been. Instead of having no special FX, they spent money to produce the most improbable and stupid FX their budget could buy. Try magnetic fields from the sun filling the air on Earth with demolished cars falling to the ground at about 5 mph and when they hit the earth, they all land in the middle of a country road that the "star" of the film happens to be driving upon. Of course, none of the cars hit his vehicle but he manages to hit one of them. Later, while a soldier is holding a gun on our star, one of the magnetized cars falls directly upon the soldier. Or, how about a space craft resembling the space shuttle cruising through what appears to be an impossibly dense and unnavigable asteroid field near Mercury. OK, but the pilot of the "space shuttle" is the co-star and she is piloting her spacecraft at speeds close to 8 mph while screaming with her eyes closed. While she is responsible for many scrapes and fender benders inflicted upon her spacecraft, she never hits an asteroid one head on. Later we find out that the asteroid belt near Mercury was actually many rocks and boulders from Mercury that were somehow cast into space by the magnetic fields created by the Sun. It seems that the spontaneous appearance of magnetic fields causes damage by influencing metallic objects (and non-metallic objects when necessary) to move in any one of the three dimensions of our world, but that the movement and associated damage or harm is further influenced by the presence of bad guys because the objects have a tendency to fall upon them. There also a number of just plain old mistakes written into the script such as a character hanging up a phone or radio and driving away before the party with whom they were speaking can him them what number or frequency to use to call them back. In the next scene, he is calling them back at the unknown number. If that is not a mistake, why does the other party say "I'll give you the number" but never does? There are also a number of deaths from violent injuries during the film where the bodies of the deceased do not appear to have any wounds. The most mistakes were made by repeatedly ignoring physics in a film depending upon science for its plot. I could go on and on having watched the movie only once. Who knows how many more mistakes would be found by a person actually challenged to find mistakes, not by someone who is bored with this dismal example of filmmaking at its worst. I could not bring myself to watch it again.
It takes money to make a movie. I do not think there are many who would make a full-length film without a profit motive. I noticed in the ending credits some mention of "Canadian Tax Credits" of which I know nothing. Could it be that this film was subsidized somehow by the Canadian government? I do not know, but it might provide some rationale for making this film if someone were receiving tax benefits for doing so. Another possibility is that a wealthy individual might want to buy a film production in order to make a spouse a star who would not be able to do so without such assistance. I doubt that is the case but I suppose it is possible. My problem is that I cannot accept that anyone would make a film destined to be as bad as Collision Earth without some overriding objective. And why would anyone want to associate themselves with such a poor production? Lastly, why are their 7 out of nine reviewers who gave it a rating better than one star? There may be some whose sense of humor will allow them to laugh at this movie from beginning to end. Collision Earth could be easily rewritten to become a parody or satire, but as it stands there is no a humor to be found.
I have already spent more time than it is worth warning others how bad this film is. But by writing a short review, am I giving this film more attention than it deserves? Probably. I originally viewed the film looking for the possibility of some interesting new scientific theory explaining how some new disaster could threaten our existence. However, there was no such theory here, there wasn't even any science. It is just a big waste of time and money.
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Initial post: Jan 2, 2013 7:54:15 PM PST
I doubt seriously the Canadian Government subsidized this movie. However, you might like to know that many, many U.S. movies are made in Canada because it is much cheaper to make them there, and the Canadian Govt sees to that. Filmakers want to make their movies outside of the U.S., because the U.S. govt wants to sponge every last cent they can get out of these guys, just like they do their citizens!
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