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Customer Review

10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Somewhat Disappointing, April 4, 2007
This review is from: Gay and Lesbian Weddings: Planning the Perfect Same-Sex Ceremony (Paperback)
I'm deep in the midst of planning a wedding. Early on, I checked out this book and two others (The Complete Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings and the Essential Guide to Lesbian and Gay Weddings) from the library to see which ones I might want to buy. I expected this book to be my favorite, but found it next to useless.

This book was cute and sometimes funny but lacked substance. All of the advice was based on a very traditional wedding and assumed a level of parental involvement (and their $$) I found pretty unlikely for many couples. My main concerns: chapters full of fluffy fillers, inaccurate information and missing key pieces.

First, there was no information about finding a reception or ceremony site, other than a cute but silly "find you style" quiz. I was hoping for concrete information on choosing a gay-friendly site, working with vendors, signing a contract and ways to hold a wedding at your home. nada.

Instead, there's a whole chapter devoted to quizzes on sex after marriage (funny but unhelpful) and another of legal issues (adoption, domestic partnerships etc). The legal chapter is already out of date and inaccurate. Please please do not rely on it. Check out Nolo's A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples and the HRC website instead.

Also, the alternative wedding section was only a few pages long. They only included a paragraph each on destination weddings or "ethnic" weddings. I would have been happy to cut out the section on attendents and the presents you should give them in favor of more alternative wedding ideas, creative invitations or ideas on dealing with wedding stress.

I did really like the wedding stories that preceeded each chapter. Definitely the best thing about the book.

But I would still recommend either of the other two books I mentioned instead. The Essential Guide is dated, but still the best of the bunch in my opinion. The Complete Guide came out in 2004 and has a very reassuring tone.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Apr 28, 2007 12:40:52 PM PDT
Since you've completely lied about the book (the idea that the planner tells you that you should rely on parents cash is only one of the absurd notions you've made up), and have conveniently mentioned full names of other wedding books, I can only assume you're working for one of them or hold some sort of a grudge. In the future, I think you should at least have the courage to use your real name.

In reply to an earlier post on May 17, 2007 7:16:41 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 17, 2007 7:17:13 AM PDT
Um, there's no need to be rude. I just didn't find the book particularly useful for my multicultural lesbian wedding planning. Are people not allowed to dislike some aspects of your book?

My review *is* an accurate reflection of my opinion which was, again, that the book did not contain the types of information (non-traditional weddings, DIY projects, invite alternatives etc) that I was looking for to plan my wedding; instead the book contained info I, personally didn't find useful (legal advice etc). No, I don't have an asociatation with any of the other books I mentioned. I find it helpful when reviewers give examples of other books they liked so you have a sense of their perspective.

And finally, I stopped using my real name in reviews b/c I'm not out at work and have an unusual name that googles easily. Not to hide some sort of personal vendetta against your book.

Perhaps instead of attacking reviewers, you should consider using the construtive criticism to plan a fabulous new edition.

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 27, 2007 4:57:51 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jun 27, 2007 5:01:43 PM PDT
I have tremendous respect for reviewers; I'm currently employed as a theater reviewer in New York. What I don't appreciate is when people make things up or take things out of context. Were I to do that with a Broadway show, I would hope the producers would contact me to have me correct the problem. Reviewing anything, be it on a professional, byline level, or anonymously, is an extremely influential job that carries tremendous responsibility. While I would never expect anyone to like every aspect of my book, I would expect anyone who's going to review it to study it very carefully before making any claims, good or bad. (There are lengthy sections on each issue you claimed I wrote "nada" about--that's just irresponsible reporting.) To argue against what you wrote is not being rude, it's defending what I truly believe were your biased or simply non-researched views of my book.
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