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Customer Review

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Lessons learned, October 7, 2010
This review is from: How to Get to 'I Do': A Dating Guide for Catholic Women (Paperback)
Amy Bonaccorso wrote this book as a way of sharing lessons she learned while searching for a suitable Christian spouse. In the opening pages she urges those who wish to marry to "pursue the vocation seriously, "and base expectations on reality, not ideals. She presents her initial checklist of desirable qualities, then explains its flaws, using a personal example. It seems one man she dated met all the criteria, but bolted when she got sick. That experience led her to analyze "the Christian dating problem." She found it fraught with hypocrisy and rigidity, and the rigid aspect was apparent in her own expectations. She discovered that "When things aren't gelling, God is usually saying `Veer left,' or `Veer right,'" even to the extent of considering a man outside your faith. She also suggests that compromises can be made in areas like politics, preferences in music, social issues, diet, and interior design choices. Furthermore, two people who seem completely compatible at first may grow in different directions over time.

Bonaccorso devotes considerable attention to Internet dating. Though individual profiles may not be truthful, meeting online "offers you some protections against the wiliness of bold men," she writes. And online introductions make first meetings easier than old-fashioned blind dates. Before posting your own profile, pray about it and' ask friends to review it to help you stay authentic advises Bonaccorso, who met her husband online.

She also warns about crafting a profile that will draw only those who meet your every requirement such as physical attributes, career, and hobbies. "Let God surprise you," she writes. She recommends saying you want a man who would make a good husband and father. She also offers brief reviews of several popular online dating sites including Catholic Match, Ave Maria Singles, and Catholic Singles.

The material is presented in 14 short chapters on topics such as meeting men the old-fashioned way, things to consider before committing, and fighting for respect and chastity. The writing style is informal, and the author makes liberal use of subheads and lists.
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