If a woman is lovable than she will inspire you to love her.
These books are insulting.
I get the feeling that these books are saying subtly that blacks of both sexes are unlovable.
You want to know how to love a woman then befriend a couple who has been married for twenty years or more and is still married. You'll be able to glean an idea on how to love your woman. A man who is married to his wife for 30 years or more must be doing something right.
If your parents are married and are still married you can ask them about what it means to be in love.