114 of 116 people found the following review helpful
Adds to Anxiety,
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This review is from: Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change and What to Do about It (Paperback)
I don't know why the other reviewers seem to like this book so much, perhaps they are friends of the authors. But I don't know the authors from Adam, and I am a woman who is heading down the aging path, so here is my take on the book.
FACE IT seems to be entirely made up of asking various women the same questions: "When did you first realize you were getting old? When was that 'uh-oh' moment when you realized you are losing your looks?"
Over and over again. We get it. There are women who are afraid of losing their looks. Lots of them, according to this book.
But where are the chapters about what to do about it emotionally, how to cope, and were are instructions to feel good about ourselves? Only the last few pages are given to that, and even that seems to be just a brief over-view.
In the meantime, we hear about a women whose husband constantly cheats on her with younger women. That is supposed to help us? She leaves him only to realize that being a 50-year-old single parent is hard and depressing. We needed to know this from a book?
Then how about the woman who is so afraid that younger women will take her job that she cannot sleep at night. Well guess what: this is a 25-year-old! Sure, she is a model, but what message does it tell us when 25-year-olds are worried about aging? Again, we needed to know this?
Why can't we read about strong women who change their lives for the better when they retire, such as those who take up oil painting, creative writing, or volunteer to feed the homeless? Why doesn't this book encourage women to pursue the things they are passionate about? Where is the meaning? No, this book focuses on the superficial; it seems to encourage women to study themselves in the mirror.
I see no benefits from this book for older women, just continuous messages to increase the aging anxiety. FACE IT repeatedly stresses how this is a society that values youth, that only sees youth as beautiful. Written by two former models, this book concentrates on looks. No matter what it promises, it seems to give the message that when you lose your looks, you are doomed in our society. Husbands will cheat with younger women.
Therefore, I feel the title and the cover is misleading. Sure, it does ask women what they feel about losing their looks (and the authors seem to find insecure women who are depressed about it) but the second part of the title: 'what to do about it', is pretty much non-existant. The entire book seems to be filled with women talking about how awful they feel about getting old.
If you want such a negative and anxiety-provoking book, go for it. Me, I am going to throw it away. I would never give it away, because I would not wish this awful book on any of my women friends. I care about my friends too much for that.
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Showing 1-8 of 8 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Nov 17, 2012 5:41:55 PM PST
Bravo. I could not have said it better myself (even though I also wrote a review on this book giving it a 3 star). I am also an aging woman but my husband appreciates me as much for who I am, a bit overweight, a little sundamaged skin and thinning hair, as much as I appreciate him. Not all men are as shallow as the men the authors describe in this book.
Posted on Mar 17, 2013 6:00:34 AM PDT
I take it that this book is meant to be "consciousness-raising" for those women who FEEL the pressure but have never articulated where it comes from. Hopefully there is a follow up book from the authors or someone else who can focus on making changes!
Posted on May 24, 2013 3:10:21 AM PDT
Thanks for your review Jeanie. I agree with you. Its a lot easier though not helpful to the reader, to ask the obvious question multiple times and get the obvious answers, without doing the hard work of finding helpful ways to deal with the problem. Your review saves me from diving down into the rabbit hole to come up with a handful of what I already know. Growing old is a physically withering experience but not getting too skinny, good hair color (and gloss) plus make-up, stylin' shades and a bright smile go a long way to enhancing appearance.
Posted on Jul 5, 2014 6:21:31 PM PDT
Thank you for posting this. I don't feel like I should get the book. I'm 34 years old, and annoyed at 20-somethings telling the world how to live. I never presumed to have so much wisdom to share when I was at that age. There has been too much of that lately. I worry about turning 40 and suddenly finding myself unemployed for no real reason other than my age. I worry about not finding a significant other (women are just as shallow by the way) because I'm overweight and have thinning hair. I worry about so much, and I feel like at this point, I need the wisdom of warriors not babies.
In reply to an earlier post on Jul 5, 2014 6:41:42 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jul 5, 2014 7:09:49 PM PDT
@ Luciana. I am so sorry that as young as 34 you are being told by 20-somethings how to live. They, of course, have no right. Please do not worry about turning 40 and suddenly finding yourself unemployed for no reason. That is reserved for us over-55 year olds who are being told these days that the unemployment rate has gone done when some of us have been unemployed for as long as seven years (yours truly)! You still can make (and I am sure DO) a contribution to the world. FYI I did not meet or marry my husband until I was 45 years old! He appreciated a woman of depth and intelligence not the made up bimbo the authors advise us to become. Take the wisdom of this 60-year-old who has still hope (yes, EVEN NOW) that she may yet work again finding an employer who once again values her education and experience. I am, you see, a veteran of the United States Navy AND a reinstatement eligible federal employee proud more of the service I provided to this country than the way I EVER looked! Find your passion and pursue it. So what if you are overweight and have thinning hair. If a made up Barbie doll is all a man wants in a woman than that is NOT the man you want. Find someone (do not worry--he is OUT there) who will love you for you! YOU ARE WORTH IT!
In reply to an earlier post on Jul 5, 2014 7:01:50 PM PDT
I know so many women in their 50s and 60s who are struggling to find work, so I know this is a problem and wish you much luck!
In reply to an earlier post on Jul 5, 2014 7:05:41 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jul 5, 2014 7:06:05 PM PDT
Thank you Luciana and God bless. Know that He has a plan for you and it is a GOOD one! :-)
Posted on Aug 19, 2015 7:47:48 AM PDT
Nancy DiTocco says:
Thank you so much for that!!!! Women are beautiful for who that are not what they look like. We need to reinforce that for ourselves and our younger generation and there are men out there who love their women as they age with them because they age too.
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