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Customer Review

259 of 338 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Had problems with the book, May 23, 2005
By 
This review is from: Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free (Paperback)
This book outlined the lies that many women get caught up in. I felt that there were some good things about this book. We do need to take responsibility for our actions, not remain a victim, and to realize that sin is sin and that God can forgive it all. Surprisingly, the submission chapter was done well, explaining the myths of submission and how a woman in an abusive situation should get out.

But there were many things I didn't like in this book. First, the author took a patronizing, critical, judging tone towards women. She seemed to like to blame women for a lot of problems, without recognizing the role that men often play in those problems.

I was deeply offended about what she had to say about how "a career is more fulfilling than being a wife and mother". I do agree with that statement. But she uses that statement to imply that the only place for the woman is in the home. She blames working women ("in part") for affairs, women being on welfare (I thought working took women OFF welfare), elderly parent being in nursing homes, divorce, single motherhood, teen violence, etc. She doesn't acknowledge other factors going into those things. I mean, men and women have had affairs since the beginning of time. Elderly parents are in nursing homes because they require 24/7 care, not because of the women working (don't sons or SAHM's put their parents in nursing homes?) I work outside the homes, yet, I do have meals with my family and they aren't all fast food or frozen. As far as women gaining financial independence to free them to leave their husbands...I don't know of many women who work for that purpose. But isn't it OK for each woman to have her own money in cases of abuse, addiction, or when the man leaves them for someone else? What if the husband loses his job, becomes disabled, dies, etc? And the Proverbs 31 woman did a little of everything, including working out of the home.

And yes, children are a blessing, but Demoss seems to think it is wrong to limit the number of children a woman has. She comes from a family of 7 kids, and that's great that her mom enjoyed raising 7 kids, but that is not for everyone. The reasons that Demoss gives--not having patience, not being able to physically handle more kids--are perfectly legitimate reasons, that she appeared to mock. Other than the issue of abortion, the Bible doesn't say that limiting the number of children is a sin, just like it is not a sin for women to work outside the home.

And on emotions, she seems to act like it is a sin to call for pizza when you don't feel like cooking (guess I sinned tonight, after my stressful day at work) or not cleaning house when you don't feel like it. And about passive husbands...what if the husband is an alcoholic and can't hold or look for a job? What is the wife to do? Let her and her children starve?

Although there were some good points to the book, I had a problem with many of the issues presented. If anyone were to go through the book, please go through it with a group to work out the trouble spots.
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Comments

Tracked by 3 customers

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Showing 1-10 of 49 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Jan 17, 2007 8:46:18 AM PST
J. Bernardo says:
I agree. Alot of what she says is opinion. She comes from a wealthy home and finances were never a worry for her. So unless you're in that boat, you will find many things in this book to be unintelligent and even offensive.

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 18, 2007 3:51:02 PM PDT
magsalles says:
Usually people who are wealthy were poor at one time (her parents?) and learned to save the little money they did have. The Marxist tension between rich and poor is really old. If you're not faithful with $500 per month, you won't be faithful with $500 a day.

Posted on Oct 29, 2007 3:15:23 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Oct 29, 2007 3:15:57 PM PDT
Actually, it can be sin to call for pizza when you don't feel like cooking. And it can be sin not to clean the house when you don't feel like cleaning it. As hard as it may be for postmodern sensibilities to comprehend, emotions should not rule your actions. I think that's DeMoss's general point, and why "merely" taking breaks might be sinful--that is, when it is abandonment of responsibility because you don't feel like it because it was such a hard day and you deserve a break.

I empathize with your sentiment, I do.. But it's not just sin when it's easy to love and you don't. It's sin when it's hard to love, and you don't because it's hard.

Albert

Posted on Nov 5, 2007 7:05:45 AM PST
Annon says:
lor369.... I agree with your assessment on the book. I too was offended by many of the things to which Mrs. DeMoss considers "lies" we believe. Might I suggest that many statements in this book might become the lies women believe?? That being said.....she is talking about women and women only....this was a hard point for me to get past as I too thought....Hey wait, Adam was RIGHT there! However, she is speaking to us women and what our part was/is.... Still, it is a tough pill to swallow when she is blaming ALL the sin in the entire world on JUST women..... And might one ask DeMoss if we are not to buy into lies of this world, why she wears a pile of makeup?? Just look at the picture on the back of the book.....OH that is right I forgot...we need to pretty ourselves up or else other women will be lined up to take away our husbands! hmmmmmm can you say contradiction?

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 14, 2007 6:06:09 AM PST
Annelise says:
Pile of make-up? I thought Tammy Faye had a pile of make-up, not this gal. I haven't read the book, but does she say you can't use make-up? Should she wear frumpy clothes, too? Maybe become like the Amish in how they dress? Would that be more acceptable?

Posted on Nov 14, 2007 6:08:20 AM PST
Annelise says:
Where does it say the Proverbs woman worked outside the home? She worked from her home as her base, but she did not have employment outside the home.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 23, 2007 1:07:02 PM PST
M. Endicott says:
Annelise,
I read Proverbs 31 to work both outside and in but I suppose one could make a case that home was her base if thats what you want it to read... from home bring her food from afar v14, work real estate from in the home v16, one could trade from inside her home v18, and one could sell retail items from inside the home v24. Even if home was her base these businesses would have pulled her out of the home alot, seems kinda difficult to do all that from home w/o the internet. I read it as working outside the home and being very enterprising at that. I don't want to work outside the home but when I do I find great support from the Proverbs 31 women.

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 3, 2008 2:27:41 PM PST
emory2001 says:
"from home bring her food from afar" = sounds like ordering pizza to me.

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 12, 2008 1:28:45 PM PST
JR Corry says:
Excellent points, Emory and Endicott. Great sense of humor, Emory :)

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 12, 2008 1:31:58 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Jul 12, 2012 9:24:08 PM PDT
JR Corry says:
"I thought Tammy Faye had a pile of make-up, not this gal."

I think Nancy Demoss is gorgeous; she doesn't need a pile of make-up! It's funny how, every once and a while, I think it's a shame that she didn't marry. She's a great example of a single woman working for God and I certainly respect a woman's right to abstain from marriage, but I guess I'm just feeling the pangs of a single who doesn't wish to be one forever; I am NOT cut out for the same life that Nancy has. I guess that's why God makes us all unique :)
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