Customer Review

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars A Silly Straight-To-DVD Endeavor: A Potentially Interesting Story With Sloppy Execution, October 5, 2012
This review is from: The Cottage (Amazon Instant Video)
I like David Arquette and he is certainly the best thing about "The Cottage," but that's about the only endorsement that I can give this low-budget chiller. The story at the heart of this film might have been creepy and provocative had it been explored with any sort of depth, but the end result is more cheesy and comical than scary or disturbing. I love that the DVD cover proudly proclaims that "The Cottage" is "based on a harrowing true story" because the screenplay is about as far from plausible as you can imagine. That still might have been OK if the sordid tale had not taken itself so seriously. With a bit more humor, this might have been redeemed as campy fun. But as is, it's just another "thriller" that is completely dependent on every character making the dumbest choices possible at every moment. And with so little thought to writing identifiable protagonists, I didn't much care what evil fate befell this rather lifeless brood.

"The Cottage" starts with a surreal scene of violence that raises one's initial expectations. But after this brief moment of intrigue, the main story initiates and it will be a LONG while before anything exciting happens again. We are introduced to an ordinary family looking to sublet the guest house in their back yard. Kristen Dalton and Victor Brown are the rather bland parents and their two teenage girls are unnecessarily creepy. One is a rebellious troublemaker and one is a shy do-gooder, but neither seem particularly realistic. Enter Arquette as a potential tenant. He is so over-the-top as the perfect candidate, you know he'll only bring doom and destruction. There is little mystery to his evil intentions (but they aren't explicitly stated) and a shocking revelation will surprise you only if you aren't paying attention or have never watched a movie before. Along the way, the family becomes increasingly suspicious of Arquette but never do anything sensible. Some peripheral characters are introduced only to have more potential victims, but they are handled so sloppily as to be laughable.

When we finally get to the big finale, at least "The Cottage" goes big. It's ridiculous but sometimes amusing. If the rest of the movie had committed to the lunacy of these final scenes, it might have been more entertaining. Not good, necessarily, but more entertaining. Arquette seems to be having a good time, and maybe that's enough. "The Cottage" is one of those movies that you find on cable in the middle of the night and end up watching. For free (or as a cheap rental), it might pass the time. But it is not a movie that would stand up to repeated viewings. At only 88 minutes, the first hour is glacially slow. There's some life at the end, however silly and overwrought, but it's a struggle to get there. KGHarris, 10/12.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Jan 26, 2013 5:46:02 AM PST
what did you expect for 99 cent? but i like davd a.

Posted on Jan 26, 2013 5:48:45 AM PST
what did you expect for 99 cent? but i like david A.anyway.it's something to watch when your bored or nothing else is on.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 26, 2013 6:25:30 AM PDT
can't stand David A--and what a suckky movie--and the daughters were so hideously ugly
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3.2 out of 5 stars (34 customer reviews)
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