300 of 379 people found the following review helpful
Strong Sears supporter recognizes wisdom in Weissbluth also,
This review is from: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Paperback)
I re-read everything I wrote previously and it's all still true -- I think Weissbluth knows about that which he writes, but never forget that YOU know your own child best. I lost a lot of sleep over this book three years ago because I tormented myself for "failing" my son when it "wasn't working." Give yourself more credit! That said, my three-month-old daughter is a textbook sleeper for the most part. She is the one that I was convinced didn't exist when my son was this age. I've been able to put her down awake 75% to 90% of the time since she was born without her crying at all. To be honest, I'm still somewhat shocked about it. This just reinforces that the best path is to respond to your individual child's needs as best you can because each is SUCH an individual. I handle my daughter the same way I handled my son regarding attached parenting and sleep and she just "gets" going to sleep much more so than he did.
What also intrigues me is how spot-on the sleep patterns are -- my daughter's naps are still all over the map despite my attempts to adhere to a routine when possible, but when she's down for the night she's down -- with a few nighttime feedings, naturally, as she ends up in bed with my husband and me. My son still goes to bed early at almost 4 years old, gave up his nap early (2 1/2) in favor of earlier bedtime (6:00 then, 6:45ish now) and having the evenings "free" really works for my husband and me -- family time is in the morning. Do what works for YOU, your kids, and your whole family -- that's the most important thing!
Original review --
I have been a mom for six months now and I've learned more than I would have imagined. Most importantly I recognize that nothing in life is as straightforward as any book makes it out to be and it took me a long time to come to terms with that. I have waited for the day that I could write a review of this book reporting my AMAZING results. I decided to write now instead!
My son slept in bed with my husband and me for the first five months. We did it because we believed that was where a baby should be, and it worked for all of us. My son also did all his napping in a cloth sling. As he grew, this started NOT working for us, and I did some serious soul-searching.
I consider myself an attached parent. I have difficulty bearing my son crying, ever. If my son would have been able to continue napping with me I would have done it. But he didn't. Every time I would put him down, he would immediately wake up, either at bedtime or for a nap. It got to the point that he would go 12 hours during the day without any sleep at all and only be able to get to sleep at night nursing. He wasn't a raging beast, he just seemed like he needed more sleep. My gut, my instinct said sleep was important and that he wasn't getting it. Especially when people said, "When he needs to sleep, he'll sleep!" Not my social butterfly!
I wholeheartedly support attachment parenting, especially sleeping with your children -- as long as it works for everyone. My husband wasn't comfortable with the idea of our son in our bed for the long haul, so we decided to try Weissbluth's book upon many friends' recommendations.
I believe Weissbluth knows what he is talking about. I have observed my son for two months now and can see the periods of wakefulness in his arousals at night, the maximum time he can be awake without becoming overtired... all these things make sense and I have seen them in my son. He now takes two naps (which vary in length daily) and I put him down awake. I also put him to bed awake at night. MOST of the time, this works without causing him distress. Sometimes it doesn't, and we both cry for a while.
As I said at the beginning, I waited to write a review so I could report a "perfect" result... Life isn't perfect. When my sweet baby needs to sleep, I try to help and let him take it from there. Most of the time he gets there without getting crabby; sometimes he's ticked. Life is like that. I don't think I'd be doing him any favors if I wasn't consistent.
You know your own child. If your child needs you, you know. If your child is overtired, you know. This book will help you slowly but surely figure out how to keep your child from being overtired and most of the time it will work. I still have trouble coping when he has trouble getting to sleep, but certainly all of us are in better spirits more and more often, because my son is much more well rested.
I absolutely believe sincere effort to observe your own child and watch his or her cues is the key -- you want to give your child what he or she needs. All parents do. Sleep is a big need. Good luck!
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Showing 1-7 of 7 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Dec 8, 2006 12:51:03 PM PST
Lucky Dog says:
Thank you for honest comments. Thanks for understanding that each child is different. Thanks for not saying, "you HAVE to get this book" or "you have to do it this way"! As a first time, frustrated and sensitive mom, I appreciate your comments. Thank you!
Posted on Jan 22, 2007 4:02:27 PM PST
I just came back from the pediatrician who recommmended this book. My 4 month old daughter is having problems napping and sleeping in the night.
Your review of this book resonated with me. I too believe in attachment parenting, and though I will definitely read this book, I agree that each parent has to get to know and understand her unique child and pick and choose solutions as they work.
In reply to an earlier post on Jan 27, 2007 8:10:31 PM PST
Ann Douglas says:
I totally agree. You have to use your knowledge of your child and trust your intuition.
Posted on Nov 10, 2007 10:02:06 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 10, 2007 10:04:04 PM PST
L. Reece says:
I agree that each child is individual and unique, but I also see how many parents use this as an excuse for not being willing to make necessary changes in their parenting. If a child is not getting the sleep they need, parents can and should help them learn how--that is the role of a parent. They shouldn't just blame it on a "difficult" child.
Posted on Dec 12, 2007 8:07:01 PM PST
C. Mazzeo says:
Thank you for your well-written and well-considered review. I, too, consider myself a Searsy, and I appreciate your honest insight.
Posted on Jan 5, 2008 7:07:53 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 5, 2008 7:12:02 AM PST
Amazon Customer says:
I think your comments about this book were very well written.it really can make the readers decide, if, they want or not to buy the book.thank you for rare quality and useful comment.
Posted on Jul 7, 2008 12:24:43 PM PDT
B. R. Fox says:
Thank you for your review. As an exhausted new mom and a Sears supporter, it's nice to know that others have struggled with the same questions that I have!
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