283 of 286 people found the following review helpful
Lifetimes: Healing for Children and Adults,
This review is from: Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children (Paperback)
I have a fairly extensive collection of books about death and grieving for "my" children, which we have used for the loss of
family, friends and pets. But this is the only book I regularly give copies of to families. The "de-personalized" way it talks about death, the universality of its text combined with soft drawings and repetition are very soothing. This is NOT a book about emotions or stages of death. (If you are looking for one of those Everett Anderson's Goodbye is a positive place to start.)
This is a book about the rhythm of life and death for all creatures, for everything that is born. One of the best parts of the book is its emphasis on what a lifetime is, and how it is framed by birth and death, and that inbetween those "markers" is what is important. It explains that different creatures have different life spans, and that this aspect of nature is neither fair nor unfair. It simply is.
I do not restrict this book to times when a child is grieving,
I include it in our regular reading rotation, so that the children see death as a normal part of life experiences. Death is so emotionally charged, especially for the grown ups, that having a calm book is especially worthwhile. When a child is actually grieving balancing the more "intense" books with this soothing one, does wonders.
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Initial post: Apr 14, 2008 8:54:50 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 14, 2008 9:31:29 PM PDT
I agree. The writing is gentle and soothing. Bryan Mellonie's use of repetition creates a cadence, a rhythm that is predictable and comforting. The message is also reassuring, defining and affirming the intrinsic value of all "lifetimes." "Lifetimes" illustrates the saying, "How you live your days is how you live your life."
Posted on Mar 11, 2012 6:48:44 PM PDT
I read this book to my son when he was little and found it helpful. Now that my beloved son has died (June, 2009) and I'm speaking w/his 3 1/2 year old daughter about her daddy's death, this book is no longer sufficient. Why? Because the concept of this book does not include eternal life. This may be an important factor to consider for those parents/grandparents who believe in eternal life.
In reply to an earlier post on Nov 18, 2012 9:45:41 PM PST
Thanks, I was wondering if it addressed the concept of heaven as well.
In reply to an earlier post on Dec 22, 2013 8:30:33 AM PST
Your post is now 3 1/2 years old; however, loss is timeless.
I'd like to let you know that your loss of your son is still a lost. I am so happy that you read this book to your son and now to his daughter. What a wonder family recollection and tradition.
A strength of this country is diversity which is obvious when you look at pictures of some countries that house people that do NOT differ much in physical appearance, dress etc. With diversity comes various view points. We all can learn about life cycles; and the pain of loss; however, I don't think religious ideas about where you go after "physical death" would be good for this book. It meets the goal of explaining life and death cycle. There are other books, based upon "whatever" religion that deals with life after "physical death".
Again, you planted a wonderful tradition and have inspired me to do the same. I am going to buy several books to give when needed. I am 70 yrs old and I look forward to "normalizing the life and death" cycle.
Posted on Mar 1, 2014 5:29:51 PM PST
This is a great book. It is hard to find a book of this type that does not involve jesus brainwashing.
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