Customer Review

78 of 91 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The Apocalypse Comes with Cream Filling!, May 11, 2011
This review is from: Hostess Twinkies 20 individually wrapped twinkies. (Misc.)
Mother Nature has been one scary momma lately. You can barely swing a dead meteorologist without hitting some sort of earthquake, twister, tsunami, flood or typhoon on the map. What's next, hailstones the size of Kardashian implants? Krakatoa ripping us all a new volcanic lava-hole? Plagues of locusts and killer bees and whatever species the Philly Phanatic belongs to?

I decided to prepare myself for the next natural disaster by making sure I'll always have access to the four basic necessities: Food. Shelter. Clothing. Twitter.

If there's a food that can withstand any weather emergency, it's the almighty Twinkie. They're the perfect survival staple: Twinkies are waterproof, fire retardant, unfreezable and approximately as lava-resistant as you are. They float, have a half-life longer than carbon-14, the filling repels insects when rubbed on the skin, and these are individually wrapped, so if a tornado carries them miles away, you can still track them down and enjoy a delicious post-apocalyptic snack.

In fact, their tastiness is the only downside. I bought a week's supply, four boxes to stash away in case of emergency. They lasted about six hours. I think I may have inhaled one of the wrappers.

Maybe I should switch to Hostess Ho-Ho's. Just to be safe.
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Comments

Tracked by 3 customers

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Showing 1-10 of 10 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Jun 13, 2011 11:44:06 AM PDT
Madiantin says:
This was just about the most awesome review I have ever read.

Posted on Dec 9, 2011 10:52:12 PM PST
Charles says:
Zolton, what a great, funny , welcome review!!!I`m going to read some of your other reviews.... I don`t know if you can top this one!!!!

Posted on Nov 16, 2012 3:03:43 PM PST
deoren says:
> This was just about the most awesome review I have ever read.

Ditto!

Posted on Nov 16, 2012 3:47:39 PM PST
D. Lancaster says:
Loved your review! Perfect marketing and hilarious.

Posted on Nov 16, 2012 3:51:53 PM PST
[Deleted by the author on Nov 16, 2012 3:52:09 PM PST]

Posted on Nov 16, 2012 8:34:52 PM PST
Petunia619 says:
LOL! This was hilarious!! awesome review Zolton! I wonder what you're thinking about the Twinkie now? $140 here on amazon! We went to our local Outlet & grocery store & stocked up--I'm puting them in a kryo station for the future.

Posted on Nov 17, 2012 7:45:47 AM PST
JD says:
Another company (grupo bimbo) is buying hostess. The new name for twinkies will be,Bimbo Twinkies.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 17, 2012 10:24:13 AM PST
Madiantin says:
Hahaha. =D

Posted on Nov 22, 2012 5:54:20 PM PST
None says:
Incredibly funny. Great review. Now where is my Twinki?

Posted on Dec 18, 2012 12:58:57 PM PST
C. Gross says:
The simple fact that you called Twitter a basic necessity is one reason you will die first in the apocalypse.
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Location: Brookline, MA

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