44 of 56 people found the following review helpful
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Pleasure: A Bedside Companion: Sex Secrets That Hurt So Good (Hardcover)
My husband gave me this book, wrapped with a grey silk tie for our anniversary. We have enjoyed it together. A great book, lots of tips and very fun to read!
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Showing 1-2 of 2 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Jul 18, 2012 4:58:28 PM PDT
J Hayes says:
In reply to an earlier post on Nov 2, 2012 5:58:24 AM PDT
MaDom Aura says:
I think you're missing the point, Ms. Hays. It's an unusual way to wrap a present, and it's pretty well known that silk ties make great restraints. Other every day items that work are panty hose, stockings, and the belts of robes (the silk or satin robes, terry cloth is hard to tie).
Other things around the house can come in handy, like a spatula for spankings, hairbrushes, clothespins (sand and coat the "bite) there are places you don't want splinters!, scarfs, chopsticks, ace bandages, rubber bands, and one of my favorites,
The gray tie is a play on the title, and hopefully used that night! I am a professional erotic educator, here in the Bay Area. Requests for sessions are 10 fold after the rather tame 50 Shades Trilogy became popular. I'm thankful and having a blast teaching seekers how to safely play, and spice up their sex life. I make it fun, and approachable without becoming childish or condescending.
I also have 7 years as a consultant and can take students into more advanced scenes. *Scene is a term used for a session, often there's pre-negotiation as part of the relationship. If it's a serious relationship you can create a Yes/No/Maybe list. These are things you know and enjoy (yes), do not want (maybe never tried but not appealing) "no" and, Maybe, things you might explore but aren't sure you like or dislike. You can find lists on line to use, print one out then sit down and talk the list. You can always go back an change position as desired.
One you have Y/N/M you can prepare a scene knowing limits and it cuts down on chatter and checking in. Reading body language, and using a safe word are vital for beginners and advanced playmates alike. Being able to plan, and know what makes your partner tick is a great advantage.
You can still do a basic Y/N/M with someone you are getting to know. You never want to wing it, and have someone gritting a smile trying to play along. Safe word, and even using a hand held, or even mouth held object are great ways to let your partner signal a "hold on/stop". If you hand them a ball, keys, or even a scarf they can drop them to pause the play. Encourage them to tap out, so they feel safe and have control. They can go much further knowing they can always pull the rip cord. They may just need to go to the bathroom, change positions, a drink of water, or they just might not get what they hoped for, or are in a position that aggravates a bad knee or back.
I went way past a simple reply, but hopefully people will see this and realize they need to do some research before jumping in with both feet.
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