You are very funny! I agree with some but not all. Not all older women are sluts and not all older women are looking for love either. Most middle aged women probably just finished a relationship and are not usually tempted to start another serious one. Every stage or age in life has its beauty. For an older women to pretend she is a teenager is simply ridiculous! Personally, I would not want to be in my twenties for all the money and beauty in the world. Sure is great to be young and that is very powerful, but what you have in beauty, you lack in wisdom. That is the beauty of being middle aged and if you take care of yourself of course. Nothing wrong in doing surgery if it enhances your beauty. I have not done any myself, but do not see anything wrong with it. As for me a middle aged married women, if I were to get divorced, I would definitely not be interested in starting another serious relationship. Most middle aged women have learned the fact that there is a lot more to life than "getting laid". As for me, I may not look better, but I feel better than ever about myself! That is not to say that I think I am a teenager, but that I feel that I have a much better grasp on life and accept myself much more. I feel and I am more accomplished. It seems that the kind of middle aged women you seem to be familiar with are not the best representation of what a women can be. I hope you consider being open minded about not only middle age women but about people in all its forms and for all their worth. There is good and bad and the mediocre. That's just how it is. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong in having a serious relationship with a younger man if they are compatible. If men have done it,,,, then why can't women! I think is time for more open minded and equality. You have a mom and I don't think you would want people to think she is worthless because she is no longer 21. Judge people by their character. I admire your honesty, but if I may suggest, be more kind. We are all people after all, the good and the bad. Please don't generalize. When you speak lowly about women, you are also speaking lowly about your mom, sister, cousin, wife, daughters. I have not read the book yet, but if I do I will post my opinion. Best of luck to you.

Elizabeth, a most sensible and non-hateful reply. I respect that. "Most middle aged women probably just finished a relationship and are not usually tempted to start another serious one."--That's good and helpful for all parties involved. Being happy with where you're at is excellent. I concur with you wholeheartedly. One should not endlessly lament the past. "but what you have in beauty, you lack in wisdom" this is important to you but for men it is a non-starter I'm afraid. Surgery is fine, but one should be honest and admit that the "new you" isn't you at all. "I feel and I am more accomplished."--again, this is great for you but this book, and perhaps not you, mistakes feeling better about yourself with being more attractive to men which is absurd. Older women should do as they please, it's a free country and the upside is that one never falls in love with older women so they have no power over you. Again, a real upgrade for both parties. Nobody is worthless. That's a straw man argument. They may be worthless as wives but they still are fun and could well be great people. Miss, sensitivity should never come before truth. Don't worry about being kind, just tell the truth. One should always generalize if the evidence warrants, and don't forget to judge everybody.

[Deleted by the author on Dec. 15, 2008 5:44 AM PST]

Hi Possible, you seem like a sensible person I must say. In regards to
"I'm sure a lot of 26 year old guys would fall in love more quickly with a smart, funny HOT, 35 year old woman that keeps her body in tip-top condition over a dumpy, chubby 21 year old."
That's a straw man argument. The fact is the 26 year old probably wouldn't fall in love with either of them, lol. All things being equal, younger is always better. Experienced older women are not the stuff of romance but they are lots of fun to sleep with, so that's granted.
"But for you to relate age to hot factor (or attraction leading to love factor) is pretty silly." It's not. You're interpreting men in the manner of how you'd like them to be rather than in the way they actually are. One doesn't love older women. Exceptions do occur but they're rare.
Personally, I wouldn't recommend plastic surgery for anyone, but it's a free country of course.

[Deleted by the author on Dec. 15, 2008 6:15 AM PST]

[Deleted by the author on Dec. 15, 2008 6:15 AM PST]

Gotta tell you... you're a crude dude. And you won't be young forever. I feel sorry for you b/c you think a cougar is a woman in her thirties! You don't know how young that is, or how fast you will be upon it. And people, men and women, do come into their stride at 40 and beyond. I wouldn't expect you to have wisdom beyond your years, but I would expect that you might comprehend that life is bigger than your teens and twenties. The age is time. And that being young is not anything you or anyone gets to keep. And you don't have a bright future in regard to sustaining a relationship with a woman of any age b/c you don't understand yourself. I can say you're just young and dumb and perhaps you'll learn as you grow. But you're also mean and unkind. What a joke you'll be at forty trying to date women fifteen years your junior. Good luck buddy. So far you don't seem to have much going for you.

I'm pretty refined actually. Young forever? Who says I would be? Men prize youth and beauty in mates over all; whereas, women prize status and wealth over other considerations. Did you think that men and women are the same in their tastes then? Based on what evidence? You probably know better but want to lie for the good of the cause I suppose. A cougar is relational with age. "And people, men and women, do come into their stride at 40 and beyond"--only if they are very stupid. Read, study, and improve. Age only conveys wisdom if you're not self-absorbed. Here's the real point: MEN DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH OLDER WOMEN BECAUSE THEY CAN'T REPRODUCE. You didn't know that? We don't consciously decide to fall in love with someone. It's a chemical process and on the male end youth has much to do with it. You're only fooling yourself. Don't search for ideas you like--covet the truth. "And you don't have a bright future in regard to sustaining a relationship with a woman of any age b/c you don't understand yourself." On the contrary, I understand myself, biology, history and psychology. What do you understand? Nothing. You don't even know me you charlatan. I never try to date women 15 years younger than me. Five is just fine. Do you know me? Not at all. Learn to stop lying about people in the future. You know who doesn't have much going for them? A woman who thinks that age has nothing to do with a man's capacity to love. It'd be the same as my saying women would like me just as much if I didn't have a job. Can you imagine?

hmmm. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it should never be all-encompassing. You simply can't generalize the way you have. I have many friends in age-gap relationships. I'm 45 and I've been with my 29-year-old husband for five years. The obstacles we have overcome to be together are many, but none of them are age-related. We are happy and enjoy our time together as a family very, very much. To simply reduce an age-gap relationship to that of "cougar and boy toy" is demeaning and foolish. Every situation is unique. I didn't set out to date a younger man any more than my husband set out to date an older woman. But love (and yes, it is love) finds its way.

No, of course you can generalize. What you cannot do is state that your general statements apply to every situation...they do not. That males and females have had reproductive strategies that they've practiced for 200,000 plus years is true but that a few male or females depart from these strategies is not surprising. Your husband may be with you for a variety of reasons. Some may be legitimate, but, in all likelihood, he is a fool. He should have slept with you and then found someone else to spend the rest of his life with, but congratulations on your achievement. The good news is that he still can though. Perhaps he'll wise up soon. Remember, with human beings no story is ever truly over. Also, those in love can always fall out of love and he may soon see you differently when you acquire grandmotherly characteristics.