37 of 40 people found the following review helpful
This review is from: If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever (Paperback)
I bought this book in 1990 and still have my copy with multi-layers of highlighting. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I learned so much and, to this day, I still use the term "psuedo intimacy" in discussions about relationships. (I also refer to "psuedo love" which SP does not use in her book but which is clearly inspired by her and inferred.)
From Chapter 6: "Understanding the distinction between pseudo-intimate games and real intimacy is the best defense against getting deeply involved with a person who cannot open up to you, become vulnerable, and share closely in the way a lifetime of living together demands." "...now, a relationship can move from formal to friendly to sexual in the course of one evening. ... The (Closeness Game) game looks and feels like genuine intimacy but leaves you feeling empty in the end."
From Chapter 10: "...if you are still single because of a lack of self-awareness and self-acceptance, then all the strategies and techniques in the world won't be very useful to you. A good relationship with yourself is a prerequisite for a successful relationship with the person you love. If you don't love yourself, you will place an unfair and impossible burden on your partner: you will try to get him or her to make you feel good about yourself. ...self awareness is an ongoing, ever expanding process."
That and much, much more is contained within the pages of this book. Highly, highly, highly recommended. Life-changing (for the better).