7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Don't follow the advise about finances,
This review is from: The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace (Paperback)
I can go along with a certain amount of the things espoused here EXCEPT the advice about letting your husband handle all the finances. I was widowed at age 50 after 24 years of marriage and, let me tell you, I would have been in a world of hurt had I let my husband take care of all our monthly bills and decide everything for us financially. We discovered early on in our marriage that I had a better head for following a budget and making business decisions and a better grasp of how to plan financially. We would not have had a house almost paid for and a reasonable amount of life insurance when my husband died had I not been proactive in making those decisions.
Among the more pathetic things I have seen in my widow support groups have been those women who let their husband handle all the money issues. They wind up unable to care for themselves in this most basic way and they are much more vulnerable to being ripped off by con artists after their husband dies. I know because I have seen this sad reality.
The bottom line is that in our society today women tend to outlive men. The majority of women will wind up widowed. They must be able to take care of themselves and they cannot be prepared to do this adequately if they are being completely cared for and are not taking responsibility financially for their own lives. They have to know how to make a budget, pay bills, balance a checkbook and make smart financial decisions.
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Initial post: Jul 20, 2010 9:49:42 AM PDT
D. Kiely says:
This could not be more true. Many women are in the dark about money. I even knew one woman personally who was married and neglected to get her name put on the deed of the house they shared. They divorced and she got next to nothing. Women must know how to handle their and the family's finances. It is mandatory in this day & age.
Being in a "Surrendered" relationship does not mean that the man autmatically has the aptitude, experience or head for finances/numbers. The more capable of the couple should handle the finances as lack of knowledge and/or inexperience about this matter could be utterly devastating to the family. Leaving the finances up to the man just for the purpose of maintaining peace & harmony is simply stupid and short-sighted.
Knowledge and marital bliss are not mutually exclusive.
Posted on Mar 5, 2014 7:53:03 AM PST
I'm a CPA and I did end up letting my husband handle the finances because he wanted to learn how BUT.....
I know where the money is going. We do the budget TOGETHER. We make long term goals TOGETHER. I'm able to do it without him actually I'm better at it than he is. I'm signed up for mint so I get frequent updates of spending vs budget. Think of this as a system of checks and balances. No way in heck would I hand over something so critical without being aware of what is going on or not knowing how to do it myself. My future is at stake here and he's a spender. LOL
If your husband handles the money that does not let women off the hook. I too can tell you many horror stories of mismanagement of money by husbands and wives had no idea until it was too late. Men siphoning money in preparation for divorce, gambling problems, overspending, cheating, you name it I've seen it. I loved this book but please please PLEASE don't sit ideally by without knowing where the dollars are going.
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