21 of 141 people found the following review helpful
This Video Game Is Where the Heart of Your Mom Is, Ese!,
This review is from: StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm Expansion Pack - PC (Standard Edition) (DVD-ROM)
I don't want to brag, but I know my video games, playa. I was raised on them, so I know all the best ones out there, like Clay Fither 63 1/3 and Double Dragon I. I'm proud to say that I must've spent probably 10 or even 11 hours in my whole life playing video games. That's why I like the StarCraft series so darn much: because it rewards serious Atari fan boys like me with relentless real-time strategy action.
Check this out, yo. In StarCraft II, which continues the exploits of the main character from StarCraft I in a highly linear and predictable fashion, you control Sarah Connor, AKA the protagonist. You use your keyboard (the thing in front of you that has all those buttons on it) to intentionally input different commands to make this Sarah Connor do things on your PC monitor, AKA move across the screen. I found this use of the keyboard thrilling because I was able to get instant feedback about my keyboard strokes, something I was never able to do on my Playstation 1, miha.
I'm still amazed that I could also observe--by just watching my PC monitor!!--the movements of this Sarah Connor main character almost like I was actually controlling her! I pressed the down arrow button, and she s/q/u/a/t/t/e/d on the ground, almost like she was going to take a d/u/m/p. I pressed the F1 button, and she pulled out her purse and waved it at my screen. Amazing, homes. Amazing! It's also amazing what I could do with the mouse. Get this...get this. When I pressed the left-click button, the main character actually opened up several programs on my PC! Unbelievable, ese. Unbelievable.
In short, please do yourselves a huge favor and buy StarCraft II right this second from Amazon. Sure, Obama's sequester means that the whole government may shut down any second, thereby plunging your entire American existence into total Democrat-caused destruction, but who cares when this video game is almost sweeter than Bubsy I and II! Right, homes? Right!
Tracked by 1 customer
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Showing 1-10 of 13 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Mar 12, 2013 12:15:18 AM PDT
Most helpful customer review, indeed
Posted on Mar 12, 2013 1:12:42 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 12, 2013 1:14:27 AM PDT
A. Berger says:
Gilby's review was actually written about Tomb Raider Survival - he was just too stoned to realize where he posted it.
as for SC2 HOTS - get back to me when it's $20 and I'll tell you all about it.
Posted on Mar 12, 2013 2:44:25 AM PDT
axa Guerra says:
Agree with A. Berger, also i have no idea who Sarah Conner is in the starcraft universe. I do know in terminator she is the mother of John Conner and is a pretty cool is the moives. he must of meant Sarah Kerrigan (who has been a major character in starcraft since the begining). this person has no idea what he is talking about and i wouldnt trust him.
Posted on Mar 12, 2013 4:35:45 AM PDT
Being an Atari fan boy myself, I found this to be a good and informative review. It covers the basics such as keyboard and mouse control, useful as I've grown up through the school of joystick only gaming. Thought the last comment about Obama and total Democrat-caused destruction was slightly off-topic but maybe the reviewer is trying to draw comparisons with Arcturus Mengsk and the Confederacy as an example of bad governance.
In reply to an earlier post on Mar 12, 2013 5:38:40 AM PDT
Posted on Mar 12, 2013 6:27:25 AM PDT
D. Lee says:
Do not use Google translate for whatever language this was originally written AKA gibberish. Amazon, SHAME ON YOU! You allowed this gobbledegook to be published as the first Starcraft II review? Take this garbage down immediately!
Posted on Mar 12, 2013 6:45:00 AM PDT
Sparkly Raven says:
This is the best reviewer on Amazon. The review was amazingly helpful. I'm pleased that Starcraft II is most popular in the Chicano community ese. I bought the special lowrider edition with hydraulically jacked and chromed battle tanks.
In reply to an earlier post on Mar 12, 2013 6:58:14 AM PDT
[Deleted by Amazon on Mar 12, 2013 7:25:22 AM PDT]
Posted on Mar 12, 2013 7:04:44 AM PDT
I came on this morning eager to get a take on the new SC, all excited to purchase my very own copy, and I got this. Regardless of where anyone falls in the world of political opinion I'm ready whilling and able to learn exactly what that rant has to do with this game? It would have been more appropriate had he thrown in a line on why Swiss cheese has holes in it.
Posted on Mar 12, 2013 7:05:49 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 12, 2013 7:06:43 AM PDT
Sparkly Raven says: