188 of 196 people found the following review helpful
Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mist,
This review is from: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Hardcover)
This book has been all that I hoped for and more. The book, in a nutshell, basically says that to get ahead in life, in career, in everything, women need to stop acting like little girls.
Replete with examples from Ms. Frankel's consulting clients, this book gives practical, no-holds-barred evaluations of such behaviours as feeding people at the office, working too hard, asking questions instead of making statements, and "asking permission." That last was a revelation to me.
As Ms. Frankel points out, we are all raised in a society that says you should get proper approvals before taking a step---any step. But men learn when to ask and when to just go ahead. Men learn how to apply the rubric "It's easier to get forgiveness than to get permission." Ms. Frankel pointes out that children, not adults, ask for permission to do perfectly rational things. I had never considered how detrimental to my career the habit of asking permission had been. But I decided to give Ms. Frankel's suggestions a try. I went to my boss and said, "I cannot come in on Friday." My boss looked nonplussed. I was petrified, but proud. I had done it. I had Made A Statement instead of Seeking Approval. And he didn't demur. He said, "Okay," and we went on with the day.
If you are feeling frustrated by the glass ceiling, if you feel stuck and can't figure out why you can't get further in your career ambitions (and if you're a female), this book is definitely worth the investment. It opened my eyes to things I did that I never even thought about, things that presented an image of an incompetent child---not a competent, composed, and capable woman. My image is now improving, and yours can too.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Feb 12, 2011 5:36:05 PM PST
The only thing that boggles me is that my co-worker always feeds our men at the office and all of them "love" her for it. Or at least that is how she feels. Its so frustrating to me that I have worked hard and when she came a long I less liked, even though I wasn't before, because I don't kiss there ass and bring them food all the time. The guys used to appreciate me and like me but now they always go to her because she babies them all. It really annoys me because when they need to get something done that takes skill or troubleshooting they always come to me first but I never get credit for being needed in the office.
Posted on Apr 7, 2011 1:33:08 PM PDT
I haven't read the book, but I learned a long time ago not to ask for permission, because this opens up an option to say no. I just send my manager an email (so I don't even have to do it face to face) to say this is what I'm doing, this is when I'm going on vacation etc. So let her/him tell me no.
In reply to an earlier post on Apr 10, 2011 4:10:52 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 10, 2011 4:11:15 PM PDT
Nikki Schiesser says:
Ok 1980, so maybe she'll get them to ask her out to lunch, but she isn't earning their respect. Your confidence and competency is what will get you promoted over her.
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