683 of 719 people found the following review helpful
P90x - How I loathe you,
This review is from: P90X DVD Workout - Base Kit (Sports)
So, my wife and I decided to give this P90x thing a try. We finished day 3 yesterday. I think I can safely file this decision in the "overly optimistic" category (like the time I said "yes" to dodge ball with middle schoolers...but that's another story). Here's my brief synopsis of the experience thus far:
Day 1: We decided to start with the plyometrics disc. Tony (the leader-whom I have officially declared to be my arch-enemy) pointed out that one of the guys on the video had a prosthetic leg. Assumption: how hard could it be if a one legged man could do it? Stupid assumption. I collapsed around 40 minutes into it. I was no longer the boss of my own legs. I realize that the following sentence isn't exactly politically correct; but, I don't care. I hate that jolly one legged man.
Day 2: I decided to go with the "chest and back" disc as my legs felt like jello and were barely functional. My wife was initially opposed to this disc because she wanted to avoid getting a muscled-up "man back" (as she so eloquently put it). I assured her that this wouldn't happen to her...and warned her that it might not happen to me either. Apparently each workout includes a "warm up". This "warm up" included things called jump-lunges. I hate Tony. As for the rest of the workout....I, again, ended up sprawled on the floor-like a dead man-after semi-completing countless push-ups. Pain. So much pain. Not only am I unable to walk like a normal human, I am now unable to lift my arms to floss my teeth.
Day 3: I sifted through the discs and found a disc titled "Yoga". YES. This one had to be easy. I knew a fat guy in college who took a yoga class to meet women (didn't work). Assumption: if he could do it, surely I could also. Horrible assumption. Apparently all yoga is not the same as P90x yoga. It's as if the P90x trainers thought to themselves: "By now, the people who are stupid enough to do our program probably have ridiculously sore legs, arms, and shoulders. I wonder how we can intensify that pain until our participants cry.......OH, I KNOW! Let's make them do 90 minutes of yoga!" I did something called a "downward dog" until my soul hurt. Realization 1: I am not flexible at all. AT ALL. Realization 2: Yoga is not what I thought it was (a style of peaceful, calming stretching and breathing). Yoga is not peaceful at all. Yoga is designed to punish you for not being flexible. I hate yoga. I hate Tony.
I'll admit, before beginning P90x, the thought crossed my mind: "the wife might be impressed with my strength & athleticism". Wrong. Unless, of course, shouting various insults at the tv whilst lying motionless on the floor is "impressive".
P3x down. P87x to go. Bring it on.
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Showing 1-10 of 72 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Mar 27, 2011 10:40:36 AM PDT
Amazon Customer says:
This is the best review I have ever read in my life. You're very funny!
Posted on Mar 27, 2011 11:25:04 AM PDT
I'm glad that my misery brings joy to others.
Posted on Mar 31, 2011 7:07:00 AM PDT
C. Golonka says:
awesome review! You are a talented writer! Good Luck!
Posted on Apr 5, 2011 12:02:17 PM PDT
Daniel J. Eaton Jr. says:
That was hilarious and really made me laugh. Two thumbs up!
Posted on Apr 9, 2011 6:49:31 PM PDT
J. Taylor says:
OMG, I love this review. You are hilarious! Thank you!
Posted on Apr 29, 2011 12:37:08 AM PDT
Monica Monasterio says:
Hahahahaha!!!!Thank you for making my day! :)
Posted on Apr 30, 2011 6:04:51 PM PDT
Ahahahahaha that made me crack up. Thanks for the hilarious review
Posted on May 30, 2011 4:08:45 PM PDT
Kali A. Karr says:
I literally just cried reading this review. Because I was laughing so hard. You're not really making me look forward to starting this program, but I'm going to give it a shot anyway.
Posted on May 30, 2011 4:08:48 PM PDT
[Deleted by the author on May 30, 2011 4:09:23 PM PDT]
Posted on Jun 1, 2011 11:21:55 PM PDT