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Customer Review

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mirror, mirror, in our minds., May 4, 2012
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This review is from: The Woman in the Mirror: How to Stop Confusing What You Look Like with Who You Are (Paperback)
Our bodies. Our selves. Somewhere along the way, the two became one. As the author describes:
"Whereas body esteem is supposed to be a minor component of self-esteem, in our society, body esteem often eclipses self-esteem and becomes the primary and sometimes only dimension on which women evaluate their self worth." (p. 2)

_The Woman in the Mirror_ offers an effective approach to start disentangling self-esteem from body esteem. The first part of this approach involves identifying and understanding the confluence of factors that contributes to women feeling badly about themselves. Part One of the book does just that with a fascinating--and often shocking--tour of how women feel about themselves and their bodies at each stage of the female lifespan, from kindergarten to the retirement community. In this part of the book, you'll also be guided through unearthing your own insidious negative self-talk and seeing the effects it has had on your attitudes, outlooks, self-esteem, accomplishments, and relationships. It becomes quite clear that "negative self-talk about appearances generalizes to negative self-talk about other areas--competence, lovability, personality, and intelligence." (p. 4)

Part Two of the book provides interventions to help you take control of--and responsibility for--your own negative self-talk. First, you'll be be provided with tools and exercises to keep track of comments, thoughts, and cues, and understand how they influence how you feel about yourself and your behaviors. With this insight, you can then challenge and revise your negative self-talk, and develop ways to turn your inner critic into your inner coach. And, change begets change--by changing your thoughts, you'll be able to change your feelings and behaviors, and ultimately your self-esteem too. After completing this part of the book "you'll be well on your way to separating your self-esteem from your body esteem and to treating yourself with the respect and admiration you deserve." (p. 5)

This book offers a pragmatic, practical, and powerful approach to helping women with the messy-yet-rewarding task of disentangling self-esteem from body esteem. By working from the inside out, it becomes possible to (finally!) like the woman in the mirror.
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