Customer Review

34 of 60 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not "Dazzled" By Cookbook, February 18, 2010
This review is from: Love At First Bite: The Unofficial Twilight Cookbook (Paperback)
Hello, I was very dissapointed ... very. I thought that this cookbook would teach me how to cook for my boyfriend, but instead it pretty much made him dump me. The reason, well, most of the reason, was because of the Team Edward Tacos. It says that they are supposed to be "glittery" and "dazzle" your guests, but it didn't tell me how it was supposed to be glittery with just ground beef and or lettuce.

First of all, Edward is a vegetarian! So, IDK why there is a beef rendition ... that would seem more like Team Jacob ... which is totally not cool with us Team Edwarders. Anyway, that is beside the point.

So, I did what it said, and put some glitter in it, and I also only put in lettuce because Edward doesn't eat beef. My boyfriend was all choking and stuff and thought I was stupid when I showed him the cook book.

Also, it doesn't even tell you how to make the heart in the apple ... and I was all like WTF?!

Anyway, I think that the recipes were pretty not so great, especially when they all made twilight puns that didn't even happen in the movie ... like it says the Team Jacob lasagna will "tattoo your face with taste", but that didn't happen, and Jacob doesn't even have a tattoo on his face. Then I was thinking that the lasagna would fur-splode! but it didn't and the book was saying that it was a lasagna to "be-WERE" of, but IDK what that meant when the lasagna can't become a were-lasagna like the book made it sound like.

IDK, I was just really confused and I couldn't pronounce most of the words ... which was not to cool when I love to read about Twighlight.
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Comments

Tracked by 5 customers

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Showing 1-10 of 11 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Feb 22, 2010 12:33:03 PM PST
Wow! How old are you exactly? I'm really hoping you are a teenager and not a grown adult writing this review. I would expect a review like this from a teen. If you are an adult, I really hope you meant the review to be tongue-in-cheek and sarcastic. If not, you've made yourself look like a real idiot with this review.

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 22, 2010 2:05:03 PM PST
Oh ... thank you

Posted on Mar 20, 2010 11:39:23 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 20, 2010 11:41:10 AM PDT
I thought this review was really stupid at first, but about halfway through I realized it was a joke. Rereading it in light of that realization, it was actually mildly funny.

I clicked "No" for "Not helpful" because it didn't actually tell me anything helpful about the book, but it was sort of entertaining. Sort of.

Posted on Jun 15, 2010 4:07:30 PM PDT
J. Hunter says:
Are you serious??? Hello it's a pun, not to be taken literally, if you can't figure that out then you have no business operating a stove, no wonder your boyfriend wanted to dump you cause you are a moron. Edward isn't a vegetarian, hello?!??!? He eats animals, not humans, that's called a carnivore which means they eat meat... if you want to learn how to cook, get a Julia Childs cookbook, not one that is supposed to be a novelty item.

Posted on Jun 15, 2010 4:12:40 PM PDT
J. Hunter says:
Are you serious??? Hello it's a pun, not to be taken literally, if you can't figure that out then you have no business operating a stove, no wonder your boyfriend wanted to dump you cause you are a moron. Edward isn't a vegetarian, hello?!??!? He eats animals, not humans, that's called a carnivore which means they eat meat... if you want to learn how to cook, get a Julia Childs cookbook, not one that is supposed to be a novelty item.

Posted on Jun 20, 2010 5:14:04 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jun 20, 2010 5:15:12 PM PDT
OMG, J.
Hello??!!!!!!! Edward totally doesn't eat animals. He kills them and drinks their blood, which, logically, would put him at "vampire" status. However, good job looking up the definition of "carnivore" you win, that means one that eats meat.
By the way... in all seriousness, the book never say's "tattoo your face with taste"...it's not a pun, it's an obvious joke. Team Edward Tacos, and Team Jacob lasagna isn't even an item you'll be enjoying learning how to make in this book. If you honestly think that this post was written to be taken seriously, then with all due respect, I believe that you, "J.", are the moron. Perhaps, you should attempt to do research on any "moron" that you make a callow attempt to insult. If you were to look into Cary's other reviews, you would find that this man was making a joke of an obviously absurd item that people are eating up. Good effort though.
Kindly,
Ashleigh

Posted on Jun 30, 2010 5:08:17 PM PDT
This may be the most hysterical review that I've ever read on Amazon. It completely captures the ridiculousness of this book concept.

You should write a book. Like, really.

In reply to an earlier post on Jul 17, 2010 7:04:48 AM PDT
Elyce N. says:
Agreed! The review is obviously a joke in the first place and the fact that people are arguing over small technicalities about the degree of Edwards vegetarianism is hilarious.

The book is terrible, only a extremist "twihard" would think it's even semi-worthwhile.

Oh, and he was Cedric Diggory first ;)

Posted on Nov 24, 2011 8:09:16 PM PST
[Deleted by the author on Nov 24, 2011 10:11:26 PM PST]

Posted on Nov 15, 2012 9:47:45 AM PST
H. Vivian says:
Oh thank you so much for this extremely insightful review and all the comments that follow it. I about pee-ed in my pants while reading it and my face still hurts. J next time you should twi-harder!!!
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