Thank you, Jill... finally, someone in a review echos my current life's mantra... "WHY do you believe what you say you believe??!!". My own similar story of coming to a place of "faith doubt", brought on primarily through a system of (unknowingly then false) college "education", led me literally and desparately to my knees, crying out from the depths of "who I am", asking God (if He was actually "there", and hearing me) to lead me to the TRUTH, if He indeed was/is Truth. If "he" didn't exist, there'd be no "help" in finding His existence... merely silence in my "inner man" with a continuing whirlwind of thought and contemplation in my "naturalistic mind". If he WAS/IS there, He'd be far more than willing and capable of letting me know that (Jeremiah 29:13), and in a way that I would know that I know that "He Is". Well, I claim the latter. And I'm thankful for God's "real life" ways that deal with my "here and now" natural inclinations (the Bible calls it "the flesh"), which only serves even more to reveal to me His reality and His own desire for me TO know Him, right here, right now, as I am... in this physical existence we now realize (a mere "subset", I might add, of an incomprehensibly bigger "reality" that we all are part of and WILL realize, just as well as we realize our current "this-ness").
The college educators of today were themselves once the student, "learning" and believing whatever was presented to themselves as "truth". Because of this fact, I've come to see that the perpetuation of "The Lie" (see Ken Ham's "The Lie", one of those "split down the middle", 5-star/1-star books) is not "their" fault. For they are merely members of the deceived, a perpetuated deception that began in a garden with the doubt-inflicting words "did God indeed REALLY say/mean...?" (paraphrase of the intention of the original Hebrew... simply use Strongs concordance, with Hebrew definitions, for instance. BlueLetterBible.com works well). And so mankind, including my OWN SELF, realizes the "doubt". But... HE answered me, LITERALLY the VERY--NEXT--MORNING upon my awakening from that night's desparate PLEA from my heart's heart, crying out from the deepest depth of "me", asking Him to put and end to the emotionally painfully conflicting doubts (emotionally painful because of my own particular set of "life issues" that I was dealing with, and that His existence or not had HUGE implications toward). Soon after awakening that morning, there before me, completely unprompted in ANY way, was Kent Hovind on the TV, on a video my dad just "happened" to be viewing (I was at my parents for a 2-day visit, preparing to depart this particular morning), providing the beginnings of answers that MADE SENSE at PROVINDING answers to many of the germs (i.e. core/beginnings) of questions and doubts that were plaguing me (regardless of Kent's own problems in life [he himself is just a man (human), just as are you and I are], the essence of what He teaches makes sense... rational, thought provoking sense). And the journey began. And here I am today, still seeking (again, Jeremiah 29:13, etc), still searching, but ooooh what a truely, in the very real definition of the word, AWEsome venture the seeking is! Every step reveals His reality, more.. and more.. and more! WOW... truely.. WOW! :) And my heart's plea is now THANK YOU, my Creator, my Redeemer, my true deepest-heart's love (Lover, as NONE other CAN be!), Jesus, Yeshua, the One for whom, through whom, TO whom it ALL exist. I see Him more and more, as HE reveals Himself to the core of who I am, what I am, WHY I am... more and more and more. And I say maranatha! He IS come, here, now.. with "glories" to be revealed that are now unfathomable (current "science" even recognizes the validity of "things incomprehensible to us now, as we currently exist".. e.g. quantum realities). Ooooh how real He IS!. I'm just "little ol me", sitting here at my computer this morning, typing this. I have my "life", my friends, my family, my job (musician for a country "star"...woohoo!), and I live my day to day plain life (saying this for a little "perspective sake" of who's writing this)... but... but... I know what I know.. and more and more I.... "KNOW WHY I BELIEVE WHAT I SAY I BELIEVE!" I'm thankful for the path God has lead me down, starting with mister Hovind, all the way to today's current Dawkins readings, Geisler readings, myriad of intelligent-design readings (Stephen Meyer, Michael Behe [of course], etc.), actual college textbooks "evolution" readings (I'm not at ALL afraid to be informed on BOTH sides of the fence... Truth... is Truth, regardless!), books and videos (see YouTube) of men such as the brilliant and humorous [deceased] A. E. Wilder-Smith, etc., and a library of books that continues to grow (keeping in mind "Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body" [Ecclesiastes 12:11, NIV].. sooo true! The conclusion to it ALL: "Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." [Ecclesiastes 12:13-14]. Amen. I stand justified, before Him, THROUGH Him, through the death of my unbelieving rebellious flesh, the reality of that death having been transfered from my own death-deserving self and inparted to His own flesh in a broken body and blood that flowed down to the very ground of the very earth upon which I stand and live. I've been redeemed, fully, by one thing... His Love for me. Thank You, Lord Jesus.