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Customer Review

186 of 194 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars New edition's chapter on self-compassion well worth reading, December 27, 2003
This review is from: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (Paperback)
In November, 2000, I read the previous edition of this book...The quality of empathy I now am able to provide has enlivened my therapy practice, and meets my need for hope that I can contribute to the well being of my clients, and also connect deeply with my friends and family. The step-by-step empathy skills in this book are learnable by anyone..
This latest edition of Dr. Rosenberg's book has a completely new chapter called, "Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves." It's about what he calls, "self-compassion." He writes, "When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others." I enjoyed this chapter because it helped me translate my self-judgments into statements of my own unmet needs. I now see that when I am angry with myself it is because my actions were not in harmony with my values. Seeing things from this perspective helps me mourn my action and move into self-forgiveness by connecting with the specfic need I was trying to meet when I used a strategy that I now regret. I particularly enjoyed the section on translating "have-to" into "choose-to." The exercise showed me how to locate the choice in what I do, by connecting with the need, want, or value each activity serves. I find I have more energy, more compassion when I experience choice in my life.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Apr 15, 2009 4:55:37 PM PDT
Braidwood says:
Hmm... well, I've been reading several negative reviews of this book to try and articulate my own dislike of NVC.

I can tell that you, like several of my friends, are getting a lot of value from it. I can relate to this:

"When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others."

But I still find NVC to be mechanistic and it is unpleasant for me to be communicated with in that way. On the other hand, I can understand that if something helps you feel more peaceful inside, you would like it.

I guess its just different strokes for different folks. As for me and my self, I like The Solution training by Laurel Mellin. The training addresses emotions and getting needs met, and connecting with other people. It just seems to do it in a more uplifting and full way for me.

Posted on Jul 12, 2013 2:07:57 PM PDT
Nemo Domi says:
i'm grateful to the reviewer for having pointed out the new chapter "Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves". imho it's a vital read! i wanted to let readers here know that the publisher has made this chapter available *for free*! big yay. here's the way to get to it:

tinyurlDOTcomSLASHkeevw7q

In reply to an earlier post on Jul 10, 2014 9:07:45 PM PDT
THANK YOU!
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