269 of 332 people found the following review helpful
An excellent RPG but nothing groundbreaking,
This review is from: Star Ocean: The Last Hope International - Playstation 3 (Video Game)
So this game actually only deserves four stars...but since I know some other moron will post the obligatory "Dis here game iz alredy on teh three-six-zeeero" and give the game a low score I bumped it up to five stars. That should cancel out exactly one dipstick.
On to the game!
Beautiful game. COMES WITH A FREE $(*@)(%! MOVIE!! Holy 'effing mother of Gargonzola the game takes thirty friggen minutes to get going. I know it's supposed to be an epic tale of survival and exploration but I MADE A SANDWICH in the time it took for the game to start. Sure, people joke and say, "...man, I could have gotten up and made a sandwich in that length of time." Yeah, well, not only did I MAKE the sandwich, I ate the damn thing too. Beautiful movie...but when it came time to move my guy around I looked at the controller with slight distrust. "Hmmm..." Lo and behold the damn game was ready for me to play it! Battle tutorial! AWESOME! Ohh...nice and then I can explore the ship and then...AW F$$%! ANOTHER damn cutscene.
When we FINALLY have control for REAL, the camera is fluid, the controls are accurate (except when I "sprint". I don't know who stuck a N0S bottle up the main character's butt to make him zip forward like that but it's slightly retarded. At least make the damn sprint last longer. I have to keep having my guy make grunting noises like he's plowing the remnants of Thanksgiving dinner through his colon. *sigh*
Combat is very nifty. Again, nothing groundbreaking but this is an RPG for frick's sake, what did you expect? There's a little battle bonus board that you can add to by meeting special conditions in battle. A bonus battle feature where you can sneak around behind the enemy...the name of which escapes me at the moment. DIFFICULTY SETTINGS!!! Very very cool. It's one thing to have a difficult RPG...it's another to have to get your guys to level 27 before you can fight the first boss. The Japanese are all sadistic, I think. You get used to whacking all this little stuff and THEN comes captain octopus that absolutely spanks your monkey until bananas come out of your ears. So frustrating...and this game avoids those frustrations with an easy button.
The voices...ugh. The obligatory cute asian-looking girl with perky...er...attitudes and tight pants is entertaining for the first five minutes. Then you want to go and grab that stick with a hand on it from the concorde grape-jelly character who runs the item making machine and strangle her with it. The main character dude says the same...damn...thing...every...friggen...battle. You can switch them over to the Japanese voices and laugh at them for awhile...but then it starts to feel like you're in an airport and you've gotta switch back.
Menu can be changed from modern to classic. Modern being what I have heard was available on the 360 and classic being a bright anime/cartooney style. I prefer the anime style personally.
In the end, if you didn't try this on the 360 then I say give it a go. I LOVE RPGs and this one has already provided me with hours of pleasure. Seriously, don't be afraid to buy the game. It's pretty damn good.
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Showing 1-10 of 24 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Feb 11, 2010 4:13:46 AM PST
Awesome review, sums up the game very nicely.
Posted on Feb 11, 2010 7:35:45 AM PST
Melia Galloway says:
Thanks for the review! I was planning to get this game, and then I saw how many girls were in this. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against girls, but JRPGs tend to make the most annoying girls. They are all your Mary Sues who can't do anything for themselves, and annoying beyond reason, and sadly your review just verified that fear. What happened to girl characters like Kid from Chrono Cross!?
Posted on Feb 11, 2010 10:04:28 AM PST
You've got style, man. I was chuckling through the whole thing.
Posted on Feb 11, 2010 10:38:20 AM PST
I would agree that the review sums up the game quite well, but how can you justify giving it 5 (or even 4) stars when 95% of your review is complaining about the game? Interesting side note: the item creation girl Welsh, is the voice of Etna from Disgaia
Posted on Feb 11, 2010 3:11:46 PM PST
Hotaru Miang says:
Haha, your review was well written and pretty hilarious - keep writing, its always nice to provide readers with a good chuckle. That being said, you somehow managed to make me want to buy the game, actually - I'll make sure to having plenty of sandwich fixings in the house before I begin ;)
Posted on Feb 11, 2010 5:09:57 PM PST
Robert S. Foster says:
HA HA the girl in tight pants is annoying, to bad she(and all chicks for that matter) didn't come with a mute button.
In reply to an earlier post on Feb 11, 2010 8:42:57 PM PST
The girl character is actually quite powerful in combat. You'll find yourself getting pretty darn frustrated with just how good of a shot she is with her bow when you're trying to pull a BLINDSIDE (finally remembered the name of the move where you sneak around behind an enemy). By defeating an enemy with a critical hit you get a bonus gem that increases exp. from battles by 10%. When you're trying to amass a ton of these blue gems for leveling up the girl will blast a hole through the badguy RIGHT before you're able to kill them with a crit. in blindside.
In reply to an earlier post on Feb 11, 2010 8:45:32 PM PST
So many other people go on and on about how awesome a game is and repeat the same good things Ad nauseam. I prefer to state that a game is great and then make fun of the bad parts. In the end if all I can make fun of are trivial things...then it's not such a bad game after all!
I'm surprised as many people like this review as they do. My other reviews REALLY ticked people off...which of course absolutely entertains me to no end.
Posted on Feb 12, 2010 7:52:41 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Feb 12, 2010 7:53:11 PM PST
Awesome review... I think i may have to read your other works now...
Posted on Feb 17, 2010 2:20:43 PM PST
R. Pickman says:
Very well done. I think you can either replace dipstick with Made in Shanghai, or at least put his name in parenthesis following dipstick. It's like he knew! Thanks for the heads up about the girls. I can probably get passed it, I'm having flashbacks to Final Fantasy X-2...shudder.
Yuna: "I'm feeling sad that my boyfriend got killed saving the planet. *sigh*"
Rikku: "I know what will cheer you up, let's have a pop concert on top of the ship!"
Yuna: "Yeah! That'll make everything better! Girl powerz 4 eva!"