13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
Changed our family dramatically,
This review is from: If I Have to Tell You One More Time...: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling (Paperback)
Time out's don't work in this house and we have a VERY stubborn, spirited and strong willed child. Now that we focus on "discipline" rather than "punishment", things have really begun to change. We also noticed that we were spending lots of time with her, but it wasn't "child ego" time, we were still distracted. This helps HEAPS in filling her emotional tank and curbing that whining. Tips to stop yelling have helped as they never worked anyway. Teaching respectful ways of getting tasks done with natural consequences has been key - I firmly believe this approach will help prevent rebellion in teenage yrs as kids will learn WHY they should/shouldn't do xyz, rather than punishing and teaching them to hide wrong choices instead. Her approach is backed up with research.
My only gripe is that I find a few of her approaches too permissive (for strong willed kids they need VERY clear and firm boundaries). I recommend a few books for these personality types: 'Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child' (too much time out but a good lesson in the 'dances' we find ourselves in with our kids) and some of Harville Hendrix's work. She skips over some very important issues I would've really liked her input on ie. stealing. Whilst I agree it's good to question the child's motives, I think a bigger approach is needed.
But the tenet of the book is VERY good. It's a good foundation for parents that works well across ALL personality types of children. Parents may need to seek further help for their OWN issues that lead them to not get the best from their kids. And of course you may like to tweak some of her advice to suit your own beliefs (ie in our house we don't waste food and nutrition is important to us, so we have a slightly different, but still respectful, approach to her advice there).
I'm very pleased to have this book and recommend it highly to everyone.
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Showing 1-1 of 1 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Sep 7, 2013 2:26:05 AM PDT
Sarah E. Connor says:
Could you give me some more information about your approach to mealtimes? That is a huge struggle in our family!
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