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This review is from: Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe (Paperback)
Young Moms! Do not spend your precious, limited free time on this book. The only thing to gain is that you will know that you are not the only one who feels like you are spinning your wheels. However, the book offers no real hope, no practical solutions, or any strategies and examples they do offer would only work with children ages 5ish and up (ie have them wash dishes, clean up the kitchen after breakfast, etc)....which is weird since the book clearly targets moms of toddlers and preschoolers. I kept reading because I wanted to like this book, because everyone else raved about it and the authors seem so nice, but the truth is the book left me feeling even more hopeless. It's an empty book. There are conflicting ideas like mothers today are too selfish, but in the same chapter you will be told that you need make time for yourself, even if you have to hire someone. Which is another thing, most of their ways to "breathe" are only possible if you can afford to hire help. Seems like every chapter says something about hiring out or lighting candles (Yea! Open flames with toddlers!). But alas, I wouldn't be desperate if I could afford to hire out. Anyway, if you want real hope spend your precious free time in your Bible or help someone else. I actually gained more hope and ability to cope with and be content in my mommy chaos through leading some teen girls through Emily Freeman's book Graceful. There is a ladies' version of it called Grace for the Good Girl. I haven't read it but I can only imagine it would be just as good if not better than the teen version and would offer some hope, relief, and release of undo stress we young moms put on ourselves. The only real hope offered in Desperate is that everyone is going through the same thing and you will have to tough it out in your own way till your are past the little years, which I already knew. So, I guess I should have saved my money to put towards hiring something out.
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Showing 1-7 of 7 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Mar 13, 2013 9:03:31 AM PDT
Glad to know that I am not the only one that did not like this book. I felt more desperate after reading it. I thought there was a huge focus on mentors as well. I don't know anyone that could be my mentor and help me out. I was very dissappointed.
Posted on Mar 18, 2013 5:39:33 AM PDT
exactly! Thank you for being so honest. I felt the same way...and saw myself becoming more selfish and demanding of some free time with my husband and boys while reading this...until I went back to my Bible. a better set of books to read are the short, but powerful and humorous books by Rachel Jankovic. Blessings!
Posted on Mar 19, 2013 7:46:39 AM PDT
Sarah Mae says:
I'm so sorry you felt that's what we were saying, that to breathe you need to hire help. We do not believe that to breathe you need to hire help (not at all, that was just a suggestion, that there is nothing wrong with hiring some help if you are overwhelmed and are able). We believe that you, that all moms, need help, and we hope that help is found in friendship and mentors, and ultimately in the One who loves you and guides and is there for you in every desperate moment.
Perhaps this, the no-more-desperate-moms resolution would be encouraging? It has nothing to do with hiring help, and everything to do with remembering and serving and loving (and accepting and grace): http://desperatemom.com/the-no-more-despe
Posted on Mar 19, 2013 3:17:19 PM PDT
EOD mom says:
Reading your frustrations touches me heart. Let Go... Let go of trying to find a book that will help you develop and shape little lives that will change the world! Let go of expecting there is anyone out there who can understand how you feel! If there was... why would God need you? You are it sweetheart! He is there for you and you will see his reassurance in the twinkles in your beautiful little one's eyes and in the sunshine that hits their angle/soft hair and He will assure you most when they rest their pudgy little hands on your chest when they fall alseep in your arms. Raising little kiddos is the hardest, most entertaining, life assuring time of life, and most of all THE most meaningful moments you will ever live. But they are hard. There are books out there offering to help people through everything, but at the end of the long exhausting days, you just have to keep going and remember that other than those little people who need you so much and the loving creator who made them and gave them to you... you are pretty much on your own. And that is OK. On your own with the greatest support the world has ever known and on your own with the greatest project the world has ever known!!! What more could you want? Just try to relax and realize what a precious gift you are to those children. Take care of that gift - called you. You have everything you will ever need to be the best mom ever.
In reply to an earlier post on Apr 27, 2013 7:30:57 PM PDT
Amazon Customer says:
This is the sweetest, most encouraging message I have ever seen written on Amazon. :) I just had to say thanks for writing it. It's so good to read that kind of thing and it gives ME hope & wand' t even written to me!
In reply to an earlier post on May 7, 2014 1:15:59 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 7, 2014 1:16:48 PM PDT
E. Holloway says:
Sarah Mae, I just read your resolutions - THANK you! As a young mom, I was blessed to have a circle of friends who were in a similar spot as me, as well as a wonderful woman who served as a mentor to all of us. My boys are now 13 and almost 18, and one is flying the coop next month! (College--I'll need a different kind of mentor now!) I'm taking the pledge to be a mentor and a help to other young moms. Bless you.
Posted on Aug 22, 2015 9:10:10 PM PDT
I'm so sorry you felt that way. This book has been such a blessing to me. I heartily disagree that this book offers no real hope or practical solutions. In fact, one of my favorite parts was the "Things to Do" section at the very end of each chapter. It was a refreshing change from the many "inspirational" books I have read that don't move one form inspiration to action. I am truly happy that you found a book to help you. Also, my kiddos were 5, 3, and 1 when I read it for the first time. I have happily bought multiple copies for friends (and left them on their doorstop with a bar of chocolate and Starbucks GC) that I knew were struggling in the same way I was/am. Thank you Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson for your labor of love.
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