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Customer Review

295 of 351 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Appalling - can't make myself finish it., September 1, 2011
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This review is from: BLIND FAITH (Kindle Edition)
I quite like a bit of lightweight, trashy fiction. My first experience with a 99c purchase was pretty positive. Sadly, in this case, while I'm entirely willing to overlook the fact that the plot (well, the first half of it) seems beyond ludicrous, I just cannot torture myself with this nonsense for one more chapter.

The writing is simply atrocious.

It's so bad, in fact, that I am genuinely surprised that any person literate enough to read novels recreationally could enjoy this. I'm not after 'litch-ritch-ah', but this seems more like the rough sketch of a novel than the completed copy.

The dominant style involves littering very long sentences with either too many commas and em dashes, or too few.

**Long sentences with parenthetic clauses and run-on lists, when used wisely, can bridge the divide between the limited third person narrative and a character's stream-of-consciousness, but when an entire novel is written like this - as much as it pains me, a demonstration seemed necessary - the cumulative effect is claustrophobic, irritating, exhausting, confusing. It's bad enough when a sentence is so poorly constructed that by the time you've made it to the end you've forgotten how it started but when you're pretty sure the author had also gotten a bit confused, because the sentence doesn't actually make sense it's difficult to believe anyone actually proofread it.**

I'm not kidding. The entire thing is written like that. I wish I could believe it was for stylistic reasons, but I'm pretty sure it's a combination of laziness and poor literacy. The following examples might not seem too bad, but imagine hundreds of them:

"If she hadn't met Sam, then she might have met someone else, and they [sic] would still be alive, and if they [sic] were alive, then so would Josh still be alive, only he wouldn't be Josh because Sam wasn't [sic] his father, but she would at least have one of them..."

"Logan's position as a security consultant for a multi-national insurance company definitely paid better than the federal government, she decided as she took in his glass walled [sic] corner office adorned with vanity shots of Logan shaking hands or playing golf with a variety of celebrities."

"Sure enough, exactly five minutes after his secretary ushered her into Logan's inner sanctum, he burst through the door, puffed up with self importance as he rushed to his desk, too harried to spare her a glance."

"She was dressed in cut off [sic] jean shorts, two spaghetti strap [sic] camisoles over lapping [sic], one red and one purple, but somehow they didn't clash - not clinging to Julia's perfect body."

"After phoning when she stopped for gas outside Albany and being told it would be a few hours before the Hopewell Chief of Police could grant her an audience, she had finished her drive through the twisting mountain roads but had still managed to to arrive before Chief Waverly."

"Just enough time to finish his fun here, get cleaned up, grab the engagement ring he'd been waiting for the right time to present, and sweet talk his bride-to-be into eloping to an exotic Caribbean island."

If syntactical aphasia isn't enough to put you off, the tragic similes should be. Why be concise when you can trot out a clichéd comparison. Beer belly = like Santa Clause. Hunched shoulders = like a Neanderthal. Bride on wedding day = like an angel. Snarl = like a beast.

The only ones that display some imagination are the ones that don't make sense. "...like pulling the pin from a grenade, setting off another explosion" What? Isn't the whole point of a grenade that the explosion is delayed, not instantaneous? Or how about the road that "spun out from under the Ford's wheels like dreams colliding beneath the full moon". Huh? Does the author even know what 'colliding' means?

Which brings me to the basic errors. The ones which would have been identified by big red 'x' marks in a high school essay, the difference between a pass and "sorry Mrs Lyons, CJ has to repeat a year." Using 'wretched' instead of 'retched', 'crumbled' instead of 'crumpled', 'Nexis/Lexis' instead of 'LexisNexis', "thru" instead of "through". Random capital letters. Haphazard attention to compound modifiers. This gem: "They'd done as good as she'd hoped".

Do not buy this book. It's only a dollar, but you would get more for your money if you swallowed it in small change, chased the coins with a glass of Metamucil, then spent the rest of your day passing it. Anyway, I'm off to write a book, because apparently anyone can bash out an Amazon best-seller.
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Comments

Tracked by 3 customers

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Showing 1-10 of 43 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Sep 7, 2011 10:55:31 AM PDT
ars says:
[Customers don't think this post adds to the discussion. Show post anyway. Show all unhelpful posts.]

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 7, 2011 8:24:48 PM PDT
M Riley says:
Lol this review ending was hilarious!!! I liked it.

Posted on Sep 8, 2011 3:10:31 AM PDT
mipakama says:
enjoyed this review enormously! Perhaps it is a little harsh, but won't put it to the test

Posted on Sep 8, 2011 8:11:32 AM PDT
Mignondee says:
Wow.... I am glad that you posted an honest review. Thanks for using examples from the book as well. I was quite confused reading them. Also the last paragraph was funny. :-)

Posted on Sep 8, 2011 12:12:06 PM PDT
That is great! Thanks for such an honest review... maybe if I had you pre-read some of my previous selections I wouldn't have a pages of unread books on my Kindle :)

Posted on Sep 8, 2011 2:00:24 PM PDT
Lisa Dendy says:
Thanks for the honest review. I'm a librarian, and I'm happy to see that I'm not the only person in the world who still believes in decent, grammatically correct, sense-making in writing. Just anyone can write a book, but not WELL. Thanks again.

Posted on Sep 8, 2011 8:58:05 PM PDT
Thanks for the honest review. Usually I will not read a review if the reviewer is trashing the author. Something about yours caught and held my attention. It is extremely hard to read a book that has been poorly written. I would rather read a book with a horrible plot than one that has obviously never met an editor. Thanks.

Posted on Sep 10, 2011 6:14:32 AM PDT
Liz Baker says:
Thanks for the honest review. When I've read reviews in the past describing a book as poorly written or full of Kindle errors, I have discovered that I've been able to overlook them as I am immersed in the plot. However, as you've described this book, particularly the confusing use of words like wretched and retched, I think I'll pass on it. As a 9th-grade English teacher I read enough terrible grammar and misused words. Unfortunately, it seems that the majority of our society cannot even recognize something that is poorly written. A number of books on Amazon's free and 99 cent lists have introduced me to wonderful authors and books I would not have otherwise discovered on my own, but there have been many others that I have deleted.
My husband has encouraged me to write my own books, and after seeing some of these writers who have been published, I agree--I think I may be able to write my own as well! The last paragraph of your review made me laugh out loud. Thanks.

Posted on Sep 10, 2011 7:38:25 AM PDT
jad says:
Wow!!! and I thought editors were harsh!!!! Yes as a reader we are entitled to our opinions but don't you think this is pretty harsh? No, I haven't read the book yet but you can bet I will. And just because of this review. It's just one person's opin- of the book and yes, I'd like to read a book that was written by the commentor. It's not as easy as people think it is to write an interesting and in the case of a thriller, exciting, hang-on to your hat, boy I couldn't figure out the bad guy, clues that are tough to figure out, is this really the reason, I didn't want to put the book down story. So good luck to the commentor and I say go ahead give it a go! EASY? Not so much, but try.

Posted on Sep 11, 2011 2:58:09 PM PDT
dana-kay says:
let me know when you write your book.... i will be the first to purchase! absolutely loved, loved, loved your critique!
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