2,032 of 2,059 people found the following review helpful:
Make this your only stock and store
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
2,272 of 2,317 people found the following review helpful:
One Friday, Without the Milk
He always brought home milk on Friday.
After a long hard week full of days he would burst through the door, his fatigue hidden behind a smile. There was an icy jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz in his right hand. With his left hand he would grip my waist - I was always cooking dinner - and press the cold frostiness of the jug against my arm as he...
Before "Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz", I did not consider my self a big Tuscan fan. Sure, I was familiar with Tuscan's other notable works, "1/2 gallon skim" and "drinkable yogurt", but neither of these gripped me with the texture and coherency I found in Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.
********Warning THIS REVIEW CONTAINS A SPOILER ************
On glass two, I found myself peaking at the bottom of the plastic container---not yet sure I could get through the entire 128 fl oz. But then, somewhere between oz 25 and 50, Tuscan had won me over. I kept thinking "who will it be? me or the milk?" Who indeed will be the first one down the drain. Me--receiving my cow juice via UPS ground, or the milk, for beginning to coagulate somewhere between the Hartfort drop-off and the Beaverly, MA sorting station...
A real glass-pourer; this milk should be required-drinking in schools across the country!
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This product is amazing because it connects to ANYTHING. It's even backwards compatible with dry cereal, and is a great tool to use when running pill-taking programs. While portability is an issue, and mixing with fish causes the stomach system to crash, there's still no question that this is the peripheral of 2006.
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I ordered three gallons of this delightful beverage and had it sent to my post office box. Amazingly, the container is exactly the same size as my PO box. So now, when I want a delicious glass of milk, all I have to do is go to the post office, open the box, unscrew the cap, voila! Once they put my milk into the PO box so the bottom faced the door and I had to poke a hole in it and drink the whole gallon at once.
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I bought this milk a few days ago; it arrived today, and when I opened it, it was a literal explosion of rainbows and kittens. No cows could have made this milk. No, I suspect unicorns.
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WANTED: Somebody to buy milk on the internets with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we drink it. Must bring your own weapons and be able to crawl through a series of tubes. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
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cold, delicious, white
Tuscan Whole Milk satisfies
does a body good
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plastic gallon jug
oh why must you mock me so
keeping me from milk
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udder of the cow
squirt forth delicious beverage
thousands of pus cells
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Tuscan Whole Milk, 1
Gallon, One Hundred Twenty
Eight Fluid Ounces
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so last week I was pouring myself a bowl of cornflakes, and when I walked over to my milk cow to sqeeze out some milk I was disapointed to find that the cow had run dry. so the next day after leaving it's body on the side of the road I went down to my local cattle supplier for another milk cow. I took it home, squeezed a cup or so into my cornflakes and decided to logoto the internets while eating my (now stale) cornflakes. then I come across this site and I'm all like " doubleyou-tee-eff?! ". that's right, apparently amazon had come up with the idea to sell milk seperate from cows! needless to say, the convenience of having them send me milk by the gallon from across the country sounded great. and that I only had to wait a week or so for it to arrive only sweetened the pot! it's just a shame that I had to find this out after buying a whole nother cow. so two ours ago I put ol' bessie down and ordered a gallon of this fine milk product. oh the wonders of modern technology!
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This stuff is amazing! I ordered some the other day and selected express shipping so the total was like $35.00 for a gallon of milk, but it has changed my life. My once bald head is now covered in thick, Fabio-like hair, my impotence is cured, I no longer have vertigo, dementia, incontinence, ringing ears, depression, psychosis, post-nasal drip, explosive diarrhea, herpes, or the plague. Thank you Tuscan Milk!! I am totally getting this for my wife for Christmas.
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Milk is great to drink, and what better variety than the kind that arrives at your doorstep, as our forefathers used to enjoy.
One word of caution, Milk, even when frozen into a baseball-bat shape is nigh worthless as a baseball bat, merely shattering into cloudy fragments at the first strike of a baseball. And if one of said fragments happens to strike/splash (if it's a hot day) the umpire, be prepared to face his wrath. If not in that inning, then in a subsequent inning (especially on hot, humid days), after the milk has curdled and started to emit that gorge-raising stench.
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Be advised this product comes in only one color....WHITE.
What's the matter Tuscan Whole Milk? Afraid of a little color in your life? It's a different world now with President Obama in the "Whitehouse". Even Eggs are available in Brown.
Get with the times.
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