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The sensuous dirty old man,

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A couple of weeks ago I finally got hold of something I had been looking for since a year ago, a book you wouldn't believe: "The Sensuous Dirty Old Man", by Isaac Asimov (writing as "Dr. A").

Like I said, you wouldn't believe it. One of the people who had recommended the book to me thought that my web site ...was inspired by it, and I don't blame him. It is written almost 30 years ago, and it is philosophically so similar to DOMAI.com that I was shocked, but very pleasantly so.

Isaac Asimov was one of our great authors, and had published over 400 books on science, science fiction, and numerous other subjects. He was a respected scientist and the president of Mensa. The Sensuous Dirty Old Man is a small book, out of print unfortunately, and it is not only a sane and wonderful look on being a DOM, but also funny as heck.

The book describes how Dirty Old Manhood is something high and honourable that one should aspire to, in order not to become that pitiful creature, the Clean Old Man (like for example president Nixon).

It does take courage, sensitivity, and a lot of practice, but with enough intention and hard work, one might become a Dirty Old Man at a very young age.

The very famous quote: "Sex is dirty, if you do it right" is from this book.

Asimov tells us that the most important tool the Dirty Old Man has is his eyes. Eyes are for use. When you look at a woman with a brief, stolen glance, you are insulting her beauty. He says: "Don't peep at girls, STARE!"

A Dirty Old Man is far more attractive to women than young men, because of his sophistication and experience, his wisdom and his honesty.

From The Sensuous Dirty Old Man:

===
Let us imagine that you are a dirty old man but are dedicated to keeping it a secret because you are a bank vice-president and are interested in exuding an odor of sanctity so that no one will notice, until it is too late, that you are preparing to abscond [run away].

Now a lovely girl walks past you with a dress whose neckline is generously loose and under which there is clearly and obviously no bra. What do you do?

What you do is roll your eyes briefly in their sockets with the eyelashes lowered so that no one will see what you are doing. The result? You don't see anything at all, except perhaps for one flash of quiver that is far more upsetting than sating.

And what is the girl's reaction? She sees that flicker of eye even if no one else does (since she's watching for it) and despises you as a rotten little coward. You see that look of contempt in her eye (for it goes through you like an ice pick) and your self-esteem is shattered. Indeed, there is a very good chance that the girl will instantly realize that a man who would look at her with so miserably sidelong a glance is a man who would abscond with every cent of the banks property and she will inform on you at once.

But suppose you are not only a dirty old man, but are proud of it, too, and suppose the same girl walks by in the same condition. Now it is possible to be joyous and open. You can emit a melodious whistle or a snort of pleasure. You can stare openly. You can walk over to get a closer view. You can address the girl in friendly fashion.

And how does the girl react? She is pleased that she has created such an obvious stir in a gentleman of such substantial and prosperous appearance. She realizes that you agree with her own opinion of herself and this can't help but impress her with the excellence of your taste.

Seeing in you a person whom she can respect, she will think, "What a nice, gentlemanly old man," and will smile at you. From that to a friendly word or two is but a step, and from that to a pat on the cheek or some slight pressure on the upper arm is but another.

You own self-esteem will shoot up and if you are the vice-president of a bank, you will be so buoyed up by all the this that you will go right to your office and put back all the money. This is only one example of many I can cite in which being an open and honest dirty old man is an enormous aid to public morality.

[... and from later in the book:]

Oliver Wendell Holmes, the great Supreme Court Justice, in his last years (he lived to be ninety-four), was walking down Pennsylvania Avenue with a friend, when a pretty girl passed. As all dirty old men must, especially when the dignity of the Supreme Court is at stake, Holmes turned to look after her. Having done so, he sighed and said to his friend, "Ah, George, what wouldn't I give to be seventy-five again?"
===

Isaac Asimov tells us that after the eyes, the verbal skills of a Dirty Old Man is his most important tools, so he better can give compliments to the girl to let her know how beautiful she is.

So you see, fellows, we are not alone, and have never been. The wisest men up through history have always been Dirty Old Men as well.

I picked this book at a used book store on a whim because of its quirky title and even more amusing was the authors name who was attached to it. Something was not right, so I was curious to check it out. I began reading (like all my books) and soon discovered the hilarity and wit that Dr. Issac Asimov can convey. From what I understand from talking to some films is that Dr. A was indeed a Drity Old Man. The book is a guide book for the young and old alike, the male and female (but mostly male). It acts as a handbook for the pickup artist. To ogle at women with a smile. To take your hand off her knee if she asks, and to put it on her thigh. Clever and indeed insightful, even if its all tongue-in-cheek. Dr. A., and his photographic memory of quoting some wacky moments of history past is just perfect for the confidence level that one places when seeing a hot broad strutting down the street. Afterall, if she is showing cleavage, should not men look at it? What else should we do? As it states: "Don't peep at girls - STARE!" Other anecdotes to those who are inferier to approaching good looking women are those with morals. "Many regard the matter of mammary display as a frontal attack on our standards morality. Sometimes, I tend to agree with them. Many is the occasion on which I have looked down on low-cut dresses." Dr. A's historical satire is wonderful, as mentioned earlier, is not just a remark on the confidence level one should have, that a man who peeps, leers, looks or smiles in the direction of a female, but also a gesture to the woman that your confidence equals that of the female who is looked upon. Dr. A. says "[Joe] Green, having emigrated to Italy, adopted the Italian version of his name, Giuseppe Verdi. For reasons known only to opera buffs, the Italian name is actually better known today than the name he was born with in Pughkeepsie, New York." Verdi was a Dirty Old Man. And Vice-President Charles Curtis was a Dirty Old Man. Oliver Wendell Holmes was not. Asimov fans may not appreciate this book as much as his science-fiction or works of non-fiction, however, those who are looking for a genuine laugh, and those who love literature would surely find this little book a gem. Unfortunately, now it is out of print, and unless you want to pay heavily for first prints, a paperback would suit the purpose.

Isaac Asimov (the coy Dr. A who authored this book) is well known, not only to science fiction readers but many others as well, given the astounding breadth of his interests and his writings. With several hundred books to his credit, Asimov wrote on subjects as diverse as science, science fiction, literature, the Bible and so on. Sadly, few people know him as the author of The Sensuous Dirty Old Man (SDOM). Sadder yet, this book is very hard to find.

From start to finish, SDOM is a laugh riot as Asimov mercilessly parodies all and sundry. Ostensibly a guide for the Dirty Old Man to indulge his fascination with the female of the species, this little volume is a great helping of tongue in cheek humor at its best. Always outrageous but never really offensive, Asimov takes aim at fashions, at politics and just about everything else. Nor does he spare history or literature - witness his re-naming of the famed picture of the signers of the Declaration of Independence as the Bosom Rehabilitation Associates (or BRA!) and his hilarious send-up of the Verdi aria Oh Mammamobile from Rigoletto.

Asimov's well known writing strengths shine here as well. Written almost in conversational style, the book includes numerous vignettes of history, art and literature, all twisted by the author to his wicked purpose! No matter whether you are dirty, old or male: you will find yourself laughing helplessly all the way through and wishing there was more.

This book is just delightful. Distinguished scientist and sci-fi author Asimov surely had a load of fun preparing this book. Thorough instructions on why one has a duty to become a dirty old man and how to become one. This book also presents an inspiring run-down of historical dirty old men, including role models from Marc Anthony to Aaron Burr and Jonathon Swift on to supreme court justices such as Oliver Wendell Holmes and many others. The full page B&W photo portraits of the dirty old men represented seem to be chosen for their leering qualities. A real treasure.

I read this book when it first was published, back in <mumble mumble>. It was hilarious then and it is hilarious now. It was a pastiche of two currently popular books, "The Sensuous Woman" by "J", and "The Sensuous Man" by "M".

The humor in this book is witty and literary. But that doesn't mean you aren't going to have a belly laugh ... my favorite quotation from the book (with apologies to Robert Burns):

"In the spring, a young man's fancy
Lightly turns to thoughts of what
The older man throughout the year
Has never even once forgot."

I have wanted this book for quite some time, and only just purchased it. This book has so many great stories about so many great men. This little book will remain in my collection because it was written not only by a great scholar but also a great man. I have many friends that want to read it as we all share in the title of a "Sensuous Dirty Old Man". This is a fun book and will give many hours of fun and encouragement.

My father passed away on Christmas and when going through his books this one is the one that caught my eye and I keep. I read it on my the plane the next day. It has changed my way of viewing when a man stops to take a look at me, nods and then smiles. I feel honored and validated, not offended at all. I wish I knew how dad got this book and from whom. Or if he bought it himself. It would be a great book club discussion book if you could still get copies. What a treasure. Daughter of a Sensuous Dirty Old Man

Isaac Asimov was an "imagineering" genius, a brilliant scientist, and a gifted writer. His works of fiction were mind-boggling and created a firm foundation (pun intended) for sci-fi writers who would follow him. This book demonstrates a largely unknown side of Asimov -- a close observer of human nature and creative satirist. "The Sensuous Dirty Old Man" is a tongue-in-cheek look at a universal and time-honored tradition, the open, honest enjoyment of female beauty as art. Said art is viewed from every angle, allowing the reader to see every nuance of form and substance. Readers should be cautioned, however, to not take themselves too seriously: there is a fine line between being a sensuous dirty old man and simply being lecherous. The former is subtle, graceful and, ultimately harmless. The latter just comes off as crude and distasteful. Nor is this book intended only for men. In the words of Asimov himself: "Naturally, then the mature woman should buy this book. To put it briefly, everyone should."

The Sensuous Dirty Old Man! Tongue-in-cheek but true! From one of the master writers of all times. I know him
best for Science Fiction but he produced far more than that. Just don't miss reading this one. I achieved DOM
status YEARS ago without the aid of this tome, but it would have helped a great deal if I had read it first.

I found this at a Salvation Army store for $0.60 last week. The title stuck out to me, I bought it as a joke, and because it had page-size pictures of some of my favorite men that I was going to cut out of the book. However, after I started reading it and realized who the author was, I'll keep it intact. I'm so happy that I picked it up. I'm female and 21, but I think it's hilarious.