Most helpful critical review
1 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Perfect for the scissor impaired.
on July 27, 2014
Looking for that betrodden yet sophisticated single woman look? Lack the integrity to earn rips, scuffs, and tears in your own life? Then look no further.
You too can look like you once had a marginally interesting past life with these brand new old shorts. Did your therapist make you remove sharp objects from your home, yet you are dying to have a pair of cut off shorts? Are you hands gnarled into Benedictine claws from years of texting and facebooking? Are scissors to blue-collar for your upbringing? Do you have the dexterity and manual skill level of a garden snail? Is it too hard to put your smart-phone down for four and a half minutes and cut the legs off an old pair of jeans? Whatever your excuse; these jeans will fill that void.
The earth has been tarnished with the coal energy needed to faux-rough up these jeans. Your sense of immediency has beguiled you into making poor purchasing choices before, but not this time, it is imperative that those around you need to be intimidated by your rough and wild lifestyle which is clearly indicated by the amount of abuse these cut off jeans have endured.
You are a maniac. Your a wild-woman. You have done and seen things that would make the average person fall into catatonic shock. These will go great with a two hundred dollar 80's vintage rock n' roll t-shirt of a band you have never listened to.