1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 212 (123 Magic) Kindle Edition
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Top Customer Reviews
My wife never read this book but saw the amazing results I was getting and I soon heard her saying "one... two...". Neither one of us has gotten to "three" since establishing the 'baseline' when we first started using this system.
Here's basically how we put it to work: When our boy misbehaved I held up one finger and said "one". He had a second chance "two" but at three he got an instant 5 minute time out.
My son found those 5 minutes excruciating and figured out VERY quickly that:
1. He received consistently INSTANT punishment at "three".
2. His punishment time was extended for "bad behavior" while in time out.
3. Most importantly, he figured out he had the ability to avoid any consequences by modifying his behavior.
Fast forward 8 or so years to the present. My son has never been spanked or otherwise punished physically. He just got another straight A report card - his usual since he started school. The comment I hear most often from his teachers is that he is a "joy" in the classroom. He's polite and kind and no pushover either: he just earned a second level karate black belt.
I could go on for an hour but needless to say he's turning out to be an amazing person.
I still use the system but nowadays it's usually a discreet flash of a "one" or perhaps a "two" to let him know a course change is recommended. The only "three" he has seen in years is fair warning that his dad is about to pounce on him and tickle him until he begs for mercy.Read more ›
WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE
-Dr. Phelan describes 3 major parenting jobs: 1. Controlling obnoxious behavior, 2. Encouraging good behavior, and 3. Strengthening the parent-child relationship. This feels backwards. It seems to me that these three jobs ought to be prioritized and implemented in reverse order, because a child who feels loved and secure will naturally exhibit less obnoxious behavior.
-Dr. Phelan repeatedly warns parents against thinking of children as "little adults" who will act cooperatively if they have the proper information and sound reasoning, but instead suggests visualizing ourselves as "wild animal trainers." (Are adults all predisposed to cooperation based simply on years??) I will readily admit that my home sometimes sounds like a zoo. However, my children (even at ages 2 and 4) demonstrate to me over and over again the depth and beauty of their spirits, and the complexity of their thoughts and emotions. I want to foster an environment in which my children know that their feelings matter to me, and in which respect grows out of love and trust rather than effective crowd control.
-In an attempt to keep things light and humorous, Dr. Phelan's directions to parents sometimes come across as condescending. For instance, he describes a scenario in which "dad asked the world's dumbest question, 'What's going on in here?'" Levity can be achieved without resorting to insults and sweeping generalizations.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Love this book. As much for the parents as it is for the kids.Published 12 days ago by Sonia K. Cramer
This system is one of the best for several reasons. No emotion discipline, no discussion after punishment on most issues, and kids know the punishment beforehand so far less... Read morePublished 22 days ago by Charles Saunders
We have two wonderful children, but the behavioral problems were getting out of control. After applying the counting approach....we saw changes in a day. Read morePublished 29 days ago by JavaMama
I am a counselor in private practice and I buy these books "used" so that I can give them to parents when parents do not understand how to discipline their children or... Read morePublished 2 months ago by kimindixie
Great book for therapists or for parents. Normal tips that actually work!Published 3 months ago by bella22
I got this book and it had a .99 sticker on it and I paid $4.99 not a huge deal just a little annoyingPublished 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
Doesn't really give information for 2-3 year olds that I was looking for. Most of the suggestions I have been doing and the examples remind me of "if we lived in a perfect... Read morePublished 4 months ago by Darlene Nelson