So I picked up this book based on a reference to better handle my six year old autistic, FASD, ADHD child who is doing well but was becoming more defiant of late. The book is pretty close to the parenting that I have been doing BUT for some important differences. I updated my approach to match the book and BANG! my son snapped right back into being a pretty good kid.
I developed my parenting approach over 10 years using trial and error with my kids. This book validated most of my approach but did a lot more such as:
1) Explaining WHY the approach is needed. This is important because you better understand when and when not to use an approach.
2) Goes over the border cases of how to apply an approach and when to seek help (which wasn’t needed by me but is comforting to know).
3) Explains the approach in detail. This is more important than you may think as for example, you may know the basics (counting 1, 2, 3) but the details such as not making a comment or explaining your actions to your child are important! This book explains why that is important and because you know why you shouldn’t talk, you know when to break the rule.
I wish I had read this book when my first child was born. It would have saved us all some pain and suffering. There are some tweaks I would recommend for a neural divergent child but they fall within the suggestions of the book and again, because you know why you do things, you know when to break the rules as called out in the book.
I strongly recommend this book. If I can use it effectively to manage my speech delayed, ADHD, autistic, FASD child, you can certainly use it effectively on your neural normal child.
Happy Parenting!
PS: For special needs parents: having a book explaining how you are parenting your child is quite useful. My school district did not provide special training to teachers and special needs aides. Being able to give them a book explaining how to work with him has all kinds of knock on benefits. This will be a book I plan to provide to his teachers at the start of each year!
1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (6th edition)
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