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1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (6th edition) Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

4.6 out of 5 stars 5,850 ratings

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, but every family faces challenges that can be frustrating and overwhelming. For more than 25 years, internationally renowned clinical psychologist Thomas W. Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic has helped millions of parents, teachers, and caregivers raise independent, emotionally intelligent children and build happier, healthier families - all through an easy to understand program that you'll swear "works like magic".

1-2-3 Magic helps you discipline and set limits for your children by breaking down the complex task of parenting into straightforward steps. You'll find tools to use in virtually every situation, including advice for common problems such as:

  • Whining
  • Sibling rivalry
  • Reluctance to do chores or pick up
  • Refusing to go to bed or getting up in the middle of the night

Parents all over the world have rebooted their families and their lives with 1-2-3 Magic. Learn the effective way to be a better, more loving, and more consistent parent, and start enjoying your child again - today!

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Product details

Listening Length 7 hours and 1 minute
Author Thomas W. Phelan PhD
Narrator Paul Costanzo
Audible.com Release Date May 03, 2016
Publisher Tantor Audio
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B01EXHNM3M
Best Sellers Rank

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
5,850 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this parenting book helpful and easy to follow, noting it works well from toddlers to adolescents and helps with behavioral issues. The book promotes a calm approach to parenting, reducing stress and yelling, and customers appreciate its effectiveness in managing children's responses. While customers value its non-violent approach, some express concerns about its shaming tone.

225 customers mention "Advice"225 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's advice very helpful, noting that it works effectively for children from toddlers to adolescents.

"This book was recommended for my three year old by our pediatrician. Very helpful but if you decide to use this method everyone involved in the child..." Read more

"So simple yet helpful" Read more

"...The No Talking rule for parents is golden and effective...." Read more

"...about how to handle various reactions and scenarios, which is very helpful. You truly feel like you have a playbook in your hands...." Read more

107 customers mention "Ease of use"95 positive12 negative

Customers find the book easy to understand and follow, appreciating its simple and straightforward concepts.

"Easy, practical parenting guide. First time my husband and I see eye to eye on a discipline plan!" Read more

"...I have been recommending this book to every parent I know. It's so simple and easy to follow...." Read more

"Easy to read and experienced a noticeable change within 3 days with our two year old . I can actually say ‘I Like being with My Child”...." Read more

"This book is an easy to follow, simple formula for dealing with children’s behaviors!" Read more

79 customers mention "Behavior modification"67 positive12 negative

Customers find the book effective for behavior modification, with one customer noting its strong implementation plan and another mentioning its principles based on behavior analysis.

"This is a well written book. Clear instructions as well as great examples...." Read more

"I used this book 20 years ago for my own children. It saved my sanity, helped me to be a kinder mom, and not that I can take all the credit, but my..." Read more

"I appreciate that this book gives concrete disciplinary actions and advice for all the “what ifs….”..." Read more

"...He knows exactly what I mean, and immediately changes behavior. He had terrible tantrums from ages 2-4...." Read more

36 customers mention "Calmness"36 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's calming approach to parenting, noting it helps handle tantrums, reduces yelling, and prevents them from feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

"The book is great. It's a sensible way to put calm, consistency in your home and it stays working as long as you remain calm. BUT!..." Read more

"...It helps keep you as a parent more calm and in control. Instead of thinking in the moment, "how should I handle this tantrum?"..." Read more

"...an epic fit when we started this and I, for the first time, truly stayed calm, did not get upset, or angry...." Read more

"...Decided to give it a try we had overnight results. I no longer get stressed or feel overwhelmed when we go to do things that used to result in a..." Read more

15 customers mention "Family bonding"15 positive0 negative

Customers report positive experiences with family bonding using this parenting guide, particularly noting its effectiveness with children under 6 years old. One customer mentions that children quickly understand and respond to the techniques, while another notes it helps them enjoy their children's company more.

"...reading this to learn the principles of 123-timeout, bonding with your children, etc. but remember that no one knows your child better than you." Read more

"...Kids catch on pretty quick when they know what to expect because the boundary is being held...." Read more

"...Our relationship with our son is so much better - we are closer than ever thanks to this book." Read more

"...Everyone now is more calm and happy, and having MORE FUN. Kids need guidance for their behaviors when they are little. Highly recommend this book!" Read more

8 customers mention "Response time"8 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's response time, noting that children react more quickly to the discipline techniques. One customer mentions that the timeout method works well without fuss, while another notes its effectiveness with speech-delayed children.

"...I strongly recommend this book. If I can use it effectively to manage my speech delayed, ADHD, autistic, FASD child, you can certainly use it..." Read more

"...your child, but the consistent counting, staying calm, and timeout is the core principle...." Read more

"...responded immediately and continue to respond...." Read more

"...and knows what is coming when the count starts and does the timeout physically without fuss even though still a bit of verbal/noise before..." Read more

19 customers mention "Anger management"12 positive7 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's approach to anger management, with some appreciating its non-violent methods while others find it abusive.

"...The No Talking rule for parents is golden and effective. Besides managing anger, the other sections are helpful and related..." Read more

"...and explanations, however, seem really diminishing and derogatory towards children...." Read more

"...we feel empowered by our discipline program, and far less frustrated, angry, etc...." Read more

"...in the book and the realness of a lot of the parents that felt very relatable...." Read more

8 customers mention "Shaming tone"5 positive3 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's tone, with some appreciating that it avoids shaming, while others find it overly harsh.

"...1. I like the author’s idea that parents should be warm and friendly but also demanding and firm...." Read more

"...alternatives” suggested seemed borderline emotionally abusive and overly harsh. I fear that some parents may take this method too far. -..." Read more

"...Our household is already more calm and respectful and we, as parents, have learned more about ourselves than what we thought was originating from..." Read more

"Great advice! Common sense, non-violent, no shaming .. my parents used for their 12 children over 60 years ago. They were the original 1-2-3 parents!..." Read more

Magical
5 out of 5 stars
Magical
It’s magical it’s help me with my 3 boys and my Therapist recommend it
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2023
    So I picked up this book based on a reference to better handle my six year old autistic, FASD, ADHD child who is doing well but was becoming more defiant of late. The book is pretty close to the parenting that I have been doing BUT for some important differences. I updated my approach to match the book and BANG! my son snapped right back into being a pretty good kid.

    I developed my parenting approach over 10 years using trial and error with my kids. This book validated most of my approach but did a lot more such as:
    1) Explaining WHY the approach is needed. This is important because you better understand when and when not to use an approach.
    2) Goes over the border cases of how to apply an approach and when to seek help (which wasn’t needed by me but is comforting to know).
    3) Explains the approach in detail. This is more important than you may think as for example, you may know the basics (counting 1, 2, 3) but the details such as not making a comment or explaining your actions to your child are important! This book explains why that is important and because you know why you shouldn’t talk, you know when to break the rule.

    I wish I had read this book when my first child was born. It would have saved us all some pain and suffering. There are some tweaks I would recommend for a neural divergent child but they fall within the suggestions of the book and again, because you know why you do things, you know when to break the rules as called out in the book.

    I strongly recommend this book. If I can use it effectively to manage my speech delayed, ADHD, autistic, FASD child, you can certainly use it effectively on your neural normal child.

    Happy Parenting!

    PS: For special needs parents: having a book explaining how you are parenting your child is quite useful. My school district did not provide special training to teachers and special needs aides. Being able to give them a book explaining how to work with him has all kinds of knock on benefits. This will be a book I plan to provide to his teachers at the start of each year!
    40 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2025
    I appreciate that this book gives concrete disciplinary actions and advice for all the “what ifs….” Many parenting books I’ve read had great advice, but I was left scratching my head when my kids didn’t cooperate like I’d assume they would. I have a defiant ADHD child and I needed more than what other parenting books were giving me. This book is truly amazing and was just what I needed. The advice is still “gentle” and loving towards kids, but demands firm boundaries and expectations. I read the whole thing in a day and a half.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2024
    I bought this book in 2016. My son is now 9, and every now and then (very rarely really) I hear myself saying “that’s one” or waving at him from the other side of the pool and just lifting one finger. He knows exactly what I mean, and immediately changes behavior. He had terrible tantrums from ages 2-4. But people who knew him then can’t believe it when they see him now. This approach WORKS. And it’s soooo easy to maintain once it’s firmly set in place. I highly recommend it.

    The reason why I’m writing this review now, after so many years, is because I listened to Emily Oster’s podcast “Have we Forgotten How to Discipline” and it brought back many memories.
    16 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2024
    I decided to buy 1-2-3 Magic because it was recommended to me by a coworker. She has 3 young children and swears by the method. My 2.5 year old was slowly becoming out of control. She was hitting her little brother and at times refusing to comply with some directions. My husband and I were at our wit ends. Trying different methods all the time, but nothing was working. It was getting to the point where some for her behaviors were dangerous! She was running out of the house even when we said no! We are gentle parents, but from reading this book we learned we were a bit too permissive. After a few days of consistently implementing 1-2-3 Magic, she started learning we mean business and many of the behaviors stopped. Of course, there are still moments she doesn't listen - she's only 2! But overall, I would say this works.

    You can make this book your own and I recommend you do. After reading a lot of feedback people said kids wouldn't listen until the parent counted to 3. So my husband and I do "if/ then" statements instead of counting, but still follow the same principals. For example, "If you hit your brother, you will be put in another room." "If you walk out the door without mommy and daddy, you will not get to play outside today." In addition 1-2-3 Magic suggests "not talking." We've decided to explain the first time and recap at neutral times... but we don't talk on and on and repeat ourselves.

    There are a lot of specific solutions in the book that are probably geared to slightly older children- but I still think it's worth the read even for young toddlers!
    13 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
  • Michelle Giamos
    5.0 out of 5 stars Self awareness
    Reviewed in Canada on November 26, 2024
    Great read for self awareness and reflection as a parent. They offer creative ways of getting your thoughts out. Great price for the product and I would recommend this to any parent. Learning is never ending and it’s always nice to get more support.
  • Ursachi Alexandra - Daniela
    5.0 out of 5 stars Worth it
    Reviewed in Germany on August 11, 2019
    We already started to apply whst’s in the book and it’s grest
  • J D
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
    Reviewed in India on August 3, 2017
    Just buy it and start applying the principles . You are sure to get results.
  • Toni 💕
    5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely fantastic
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 3, 2020
    We were recommended this by the SENCO at my sons school, he has ADHD and we were meant to attend the course but it was cancelled. We purchased the book for some advice to help us with our approach to parenting. I had super nanny books when the boys were toddlers but found It was lengthy and so much packed in but this book is straight to the point and so relatable!
    Absolutely brilliant, me and my partner sat together the night we received it and could really relate to what was on the book. We sat and wrote down a plan, then straight away started to implement techniques that were in the book, not just with our child with ADHD but with our youngest son too and working together we got there. It isn’t a quick fix or a miracle book you must stay strong and stick to what you say,if you are implementing something new we did a lot of sitting down as a family and evaluating ourselves for this to work.
    Our sons behaviour is a lot more settled, his behaviour as changed drastically to the point family comment on how mature he his getting and the bond we have as a family is must stronger.
    I would recommend for any parent with young children. Every now and again I reopen this book and refresh.
  • JOSE BALAGUER ALEDON
    5.0 out of 5 stars 100% recomendable
    Reviewed in Spain on May 14, 2024
    Muy buen libro, muy bien explicado y con un toque de humor que hace que leer este libro sea realmente instructivo y ameno.
    Por lo poco que he estado aplicando las técnicas, parece que funcionan muy bien
    Report