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SM 101: A Realistic Introduction 2nd Edition
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Top Customer Reviews
It is somewhat of a `technical manual' that explains SM terminology, the mechanics of `erotic pain' as well as how to use clamps, bondage, flagellation, erotic torture and humiliation. The second part of the manual introduces the reader to SM organizations, SM relationships and how to construct specialized types of scenes. This book is a definite must have for anyone contemplating exploring the public BDSM scene. The terminology and basic safety rules are "musts" at any responsible event.
Because this is book is written by a scene player, it does move a little quickly over the initial exploratory stages that many couples go through to get into SM - Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns has a somewhat more elaborate introduction into the SM mindset. However, if you have decided that you are going to play and want to know how, there isn't any better book out there to get started with.
I think the primary advantage of this book over others on the subject is its depth. Its introduction to the basics of BDSM is particularly thorough. Personal anecdotes, both amusing and poignant, give real-life insight into what it's like to play with BDSM. It has a strong emphasis on safety without being pushy or patronizing. Most books just recite arbitrary rules. SM 101 gives information, suggestions, and advice designed to help readers make their own decisions about the risks they want to take.
One of my favorite parts of this book is a collection of off-handed remarks overheard at BDSM events. These quotes, scattered in margins of the pages, range from clever to hilarious to profound. Another nice touch is advice on finding partners, and a step-by-step guide to negotiating SM play. There are even negotiation forms that can be copied and used to make sure that all the points are covered. I strongly recommend the safety precautions this book suggests for playing with someone new.
All in all, SM 101 is a book I would highly recommend to anyone who is seriously considering exploring safe, sane and consensual BDSM.
Jay writes in an easy style; the book is written in plain language and is completely understandable... infinitely "readable". He defines most all the current usage terminology, discusses the basics of SM play and Dominance and Submission better than anyone else in my opinion. It is a "How To" and a "How Not to Do" with explanations about every phase of BDSM play.
The best reason to buy this book, however, is to really understand what safety is all about. Also the book contains lots of resources for further information about the lifestyle as well as a wonderful "negotiation" form for new and experienced partners so that their sessions will be mutually safe and pleasurable. He stresses something that I know is true from my many years in the lifestyle and that is that open communication between consensual partners is of the utmost importance.
IMPORTANT: The book is several years out of date. Most of his advice is still good- paddles will still bruise less than canes, bound submissives are likely to fall on stairs, that sort of thing. HOWEVER: Wiseman frequently plays up the wonders of the spermicide nonoxynol-9, encouraging its use with anyone who isn't outright allergic to it. Nonoxynol-9 was believed to help limit the spread of STDs. This is the opposite of true. Nonoxynol-9 is irritating even if you aren't allergic, and the tiny lesions it causes may increase your chances of catching STDs, especially HIV. It's strictly for contraceptive use only.
The other key advancement made since the publishing of this book is silicone lubricant. Wiseman discusses the difference between water-based and oil-based, but now if you walk into your friendly neighborhood sex shop, you're more likely to find only water-based and silicone-based. Read up on the pros and cons of silicone- it's great stuff, but it does have some drawbacks- and definitely doublecheck whether or not it will stain any props you're using.
Lastly, this book is very much from the point of view of a straight man, and will be most useful (and least offensive) in the hands of other straight men and women.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The book is very informative and contains tons of info. The tone is nice. Me & my partner love the book.Published 22 days ago by skippa
Love it ! Greta read ! Very helpful for newbies , giving it 4 starts because it's outdated by 20+ yearsPublished 28 days ago by nazerke
Very informative and covers A LOT of ground. Answers SO many questions in a very clear way. A must read for all BDSM aspirers or practicersPublished 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
A must have for any level of interest in BDSM in my opinion. This book is a great introduction to BDSM. Read morePublished 3 months ago by CerchOne
A little dated but a very good introduction to SM/BDSM. I actually found the dated aspects of it nostalgic. Good book.Published 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
Good introduction to the topic. Even experienced devotees on this scene could use a refreshal on the importance of safety precautions,communication and preliminary negotiations. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Krista