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20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction Paperback – April 10, 2005
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From the Inside Flap
"Almost every woman I know (including me) has gone through a quarter-life crisis in her life so its important for young women to realize that they are not alone. This book will serve as a valuable resource for 20-something women to determine their weaknesses and strengths and then to apply those discoveries toward realizing their dreams in life." Jane Buckingham, author of The Modern Girls Guide to Life
Timeless and insightful, 20-Something 20-Everything is a must read guide for women in their 20s to create inner balance and take responsibility for their life choices." Tracy McWilliams, author of Dress to Express
"Christine Hassler has created a series of extremely valuable exercises to help women in their twenties evaluate their personal, financial and career choices. Whether you are a confused, frantic or amazingly satisfied 20-something woman, this book can help you to get on (or stay on!) the path to success." Jennifer Todd, film producer for Austin Powers and If These Walls Could Talk
"Written straight from the heart of the author, this book invites you women to examine that which defines them. A wonderful guide, 20-Something, 20-Everything is filled with practical and uplifting direction."
Sophie Parienti, editor in chief of Yogi Times
- Item Weight : 12.8 ounces
- Paperback : 256 pages
- ISBN-10 : 157731476X
- ISBN-13 : 978-1577314769
- Product Dimensions : 5.5 x 1 x 8.4 inches
- Publisher : New World Library; First Printing Edition (April 10, 2005)
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #251,988 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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Hassler also used several phrases I found particularly tone-deaf. For instance, while rattling off a list of one woman's superficial accomplishments, she mentions "a token 'Will' (a gay friend who goes to flea markets with her and actually tells her when she looks fat)." It's clearly a reference to the sitcom 'Will & Grace,' but it clearly misses the point of the show — and of friendship — entirely. Will's not a token anything. He's Grace's best friend. Period. You shouldn't try to collect types of friends like a Pokemon trainer of diversity.
She also makes the painfully overgeneralized analogy: "men are like dressers and women are like hot air balloons." I was particularly astounded that this cringey phrase made it past an editor for how it over simplifies people and creates stereotypes that supposedly perform. What if you're not a woman who considers herself to be ruled by emotion. What if you're more of a compartmentalizer? Or a stoic? Or a cynic? Plus it's about as original a phrase as "men are from Mars and women are from Venus."
Finally, she tossed a Websters dictionary definition in for good measure and I had to give up on the whole thing.
It's very cookie cutter and nothing you can't find in online support forums, or basically talking to a supportive friend. It's fine but not helpful.
But right now, I'm truly enjoying the fruits of my labor, taking time for me, & not studying anything. But I got to a point where I wanted more than just 'enjoying life' and want to work towards some type of goal whether it be career or persona-wise because there's always room for improvement. I just didn't know what that next step of progression in my career or sense of self should be. So I got this book because I wanted to delve into the reasons as to why I was feeling this way.
This book has opened my eyes to my feelings and things/events in my past or in my family tree that contribute to my personality, work ethic, thinking patterns, etc.
I definitely recommend this book to 20-something women whether they are self-proclaimed readers or not. This book makes you reflect on yourself and makes for amazing conversation with your friends, significant other, siblings, mentors, and parents.
Top reviews from other countries
And it did! The book is really, really full of different exercises that you have to do to explore your belief systems, who you are, what you want and so on. So I was taking them really seriously and writing a bunch of stuff in a journal. As I went along I skipped one or two of them because believe me there are a lot and you can't exactly do all of them in 5 minutes. She expects you to interview people, find mentors, do visualisation exercises, write a LOT and then go back over things and rate them or rethink them. Which is great actually because it's halfway towards getting real counselling or therapy, not just a book. But sometimes you can't necessarily be bothered to do them all, then you get freaked out and think you should be doing them or the book won't work.
But later on there's a chapter where she tells you that you have to get rid of the word SHOULD and stop building your life around other people's expectations anyway.
About halfway through the book, when I compared myself with some of the expectations and dilemmas that she uses to illustrate the problems of most 20-something women, I realised I really don't have any of these dilemmas and it's all pretty simple after all. I looked back at my initial list of things I thought I wanted, picked out the most important ones, and now I'm just working towards them. Not sure exactly what it was that did it, but I feel like the exercises made me get things out and prioritise them which was what I needed apparently.
Great book. Totally recommended if you want to do a little self-therapy and work out your life!!
I found the tone of the book frustrating and difficult to take seriously, it just seemed very cheesy to me. In trying to be comforting or self-deprecating, the author often just unintentionally annoyed me by assuming that I cared about things that I don't. Writing for an every-woman is challenging, but sometimes the assumptions felt like patronising gender-stereotypes. I didn't manage to read the book cover to cover, instead opting to skip the text between the tasks on chapters that seemed less relevant to me. I wanted to give up altogether many times because over the course of the book things become repetitive and sort of circular.
Things I actually liked:
Hassler conducted some of her own research for the book, surveying many women of different ages about their experiences of their twenties and these were the parts of the book I enjoyed reading the most.
Although I didn't find her writing style compelling, I did actually like the author as she came across as a person, she seemed very sweet-natured and smart. She wasn't trying to claim to have all of the answers or be prescriptive.
I can imagine that there is a type of woman out there who would both enjoy and benefit from this book, but I'm just not her. If you don't care about marriage, or dieting and would describe yourself as snarky rather than earnest, I would give this one a miss.
(Maybe get something by Caitlin Moran and start a journal instead?)