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The 5 Love Languages of Children Paperback – February 1, 2012
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About the Author
The late ROSS CAMPBELL, M.D., was the author of the bestselling book How to Really Love Your Child, which has sold more than one million copies. He spent over 30 years as a clinical psychiatrist, concentrating on the parent-child relationship and later worked with the Ministering to Ministers Foundation, serving individual ministers, their families, and church organizations. Dr. Campbell was the co-author of The Five Love Languages of Children and Parenting Your Adult Child and author of How to Really Love Your Teenager.
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It has been at least ten years since I read The Five Love Languages; however, I didn't find The Five Love Languages of Children to be too terribly different. The love languages (Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Gifts) are the same. From what I could tell, the examples surrounded the love languages were obviously geared toward parents and children. Also, there were sections devoted to parenting philosophy and the nature of children whereas the original book focused more on the spouse and romantic love relationships. But overall, I feel like you could probably get away with reading one of these books and applying the concepts to both sets of relationships (or any relationship really).
That being said, I still really enjoyed The Five Love Languages of Children and I read it quite quickly given the amount of time I have to read these days. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell had plenty of good and wise things to say about raising children and I highlighted up a storm.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
-Speaking your child's primary love language does not mean he or she will not rebel later. It does mean your child will know you love him, and that can bring him security and hope...
-Unconditional love is a full love that accepts and affirms a child for who he is, not for what he does.
-Your children will sense how you feel about them by how you behave toward them.
-Affection and love mean expressing appreciation for the very being of a child, for those characteristics and abilities that are part of the total package of the person. In contrast, we express praise for what the child does, either in achievements or behavior or conscious attitudes.
-...much childhood misbehavior is an attempt to get more time with Mom or Dad.
-Don't let your demonstration of love to a child be controlled by whether the child is pleasing you at the moment.
-Your children need to see in you the traits you want them to develop.
-Discipline comes from a Greek word that means "to train." Discipline involves the long and vigilant task of guiding a child from infancy to adulthood. The goal is that the child would reach a level of maturity that will allow him one day to function as a responsible adult in society.
-Love looks out for the interest of another; so does discipline.
-Practice unconditional love; then discipline.
-Raising children always requires more time than you expected.
Personally, I really enjoyed the section dedicated to discipline. The authors address that discipline and punishment aren't synonymous. While I without a doubt knew that both of my parents loved me I definitely grew up in a household where punishment was the main form of discipline. It wasn't always about training me in the direction that I needed to go so much as punishing me for the not going the direction I should. Or it felt that way at the time. Anyway, I won't go into all of that here, but I enjoyed the authors spending time on this subject and really enforcing that a child should be loved and feel loved unconditionally no matter how unappealing their behavior might be.
The Five Love Languages of Children gets 4 Stars from me. It's an information packed book with easy concepts to implement into your daily life in hopes that your children will feel more loved. I do think that this is a book that you might continually need to come back to and re-read for a refresher every once and a while. Have you read The Five Love Languages of Children? What did you think? Let me know!
If you haven't ready the first book that was intended for married couples (or non married couples in a serious relationship) you can still read this book no problem. This was written as a standalone book that does not require the reading of the authors first book.
Kids are easy to love, and of course sometimes not so easy but we care for them just the same. It is easy for us to see when they care about us because they are so basic in the way they show affection. As they get older into adolescence this changes a bit as they get more complicated. My children are 4 months, 2 years, and 3.5 years old. Even though this book will be more helpful with children ages 8-18, I am already using the concepts of this book with my 2 and 3.5 year old and seeing results. This book will show you how to let your children know you care about them. My 3.5 year old just needs hugs but my 2 year old needs time spent with him. When I started doing this his typical 2 year old "touch everything I shouldn't" actions went away. It was a moment to cherish when we could leave the remote controls for the TV out on the end table again. When my 2 year old started getting the love he wanted he stopped acting out and this book showed me in an easy to understand way how to see what my child wanted and give it to him. Now did I ignore my child before? No Way. When I get home all the kids go crazy and jump on me and we wrestle and tickle. My 3.5 year old tells me about preschool and my boy shows me his toys (the same ones as the day before). We all eat dinner together followed shortly after by taking baths or showers. Then we have nights with no TV where my wife and I will read them books or they will play and sometimes we let them watch a show or two. Its not like we are bad parents at all and this book isn't aimed at making bad parents better. This book will show you, whatever type of parent you are, how to show your children you care for them so they see it. When your children feel more loved by you they will be more confident, act out less, and be able to show you better how they care for you. Its a win win with no real extra effort needed other than what you are currently putting out. You just might need to redirect some of your effort. This book is a short easy read and I recommend it to any parent.