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50 Shades Of Curious: BDSM For Beginners: You've read "Fifty shades of grey". Now let America's favorite "50SOG" coach & BDSM expert teach you how to safely try it yourself Paperback – November 2, 2012
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From the Author
"It's so refreshing to get common sense advice about kinky sex! Bo Blaze has been teaching curious pleasure-seekers how to have kinky sex for over a decade, so he knows all the answers to your questions. With this book, you'll get a safe and thorough understanding of BDSM and how to enjoy it in your own relationship. I really respect what he's done here."
Susan Wright - Founder National Coalition For Sexual Freedom
"Bo is always a big hit when he guest lectures for my human sexuality students each year, the feedback is through the roof positive. If you are new to the world of BDSM, you need to read Bo's book, 50 Shades of Curious. He is able to take complex ideas and relate them in simple terms in a fun, informative manner. His enthusiasm is infectious as he relays inspiration through the book. Bo truly is America's BDSM expert for beginners."
Dr. Miro Gudelsky - Noted sex therapist and head of alternative sexuality studies at CUNY
"This book is a great resource for those curious about their sexuality or anyone who has ever had a kinky thought cross their mind. Reading it will give you a fantastic overview of what BDSM has to offer. It will encourage you to embrace and explore parts of yourself you didn't know were there and once you find them, how to stay safely act upon and love your interests and kinks without being ashamed."
Holli Quinn - President, Conversio Virium, Columbia University
"If you are new to the fifty shades world, you need to read this book."
Dan Davis, Editor, Club Magazine
"With the release of 50 Shades of Grey, a tidal wave of interest in BDSM and kinky sex generally has been spawned among the general population. Many of the casually interested will become seriously interested in personal explorations and that's where important works like 50 Shades of Curious contribute to making sure that those explorations are informed and safe. Kudos to Bo Blaze for helping these novice kinksters in a meaningful and important way."
Race Bannon - Author of the best seller Learning The Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun SM Lovemaking
"Only novice coach Bo Blaze could have written such a warm and friendly introduction to BDSM. It's light, informative - and downright welcoming."
Dr. Staci Newmahr - Author of Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy
"Like sitting with a friend and having a kinky chat about sex, love, and relationships."
Dr. Charley Ferrer - Author BDSM The Naked Truth
"An excellent primer for those just curious or those wanting to seriously explore their hidden desires."
John Santerineross - Artist and Author of Dream: The Dark Erotic Photographic Visions
"50 Shades of Curious ought to be required reading for all 32 million readers of Fifty Shades of Grey. Bo goes into great detail, elaborating on the how's, when's, where's, and why's of kinky play. Reading his treatise will further the educational opportunities for anybody wishing to actually start their kinky exploration. This book should live on your nightstand. Highly recommended!"
"Uncle" Frazier - Owner of The Crucible, Washington DC's only alternative lifestyle/BDSM club
"I wish this book had existed when I entered the BDSM scene. It would have saved me many hours of pain and confusion. Thankfully, people exploring BDSM today have this gem to help them steer clear of such pitfalls."
Amber Rose Thompson - Author of Tied to Passion
"A great introduction to what really happens in the lifestyle. For those whose curiosity was peaked by 50 Shades of Gray and want to learn more, it's a must-read."
Kasi Alexander - author of Becoming Sage and the entire Keyhole series
"As a well-known educator on alternative sexual relationships and non-traditional lifestyles, Bo Blaze is now sharing his wealth of knowledge in book form. The book represents a treasure chest of information and experiences - from basic safety, how to get started, the importance of communication - to BDSM play and alternative lifestyle relationships. Readers beware, you are in for a treat."
Eric Pride - Founder of NYC Kinky Living
"When someone lives and breathes this lifestyle passionately like Bo Blaze has done for nearly two decades, you can be assured you will get the most valuable information the BDSM community has to offer. A must read if you are beginning your journey into the world of BDSM. Bravo Bo on a wonderful book and enriching us with your unparalleled experience!"
Sir Viktor - Founder DomSubFriends.com
About the Author
Bo Blaze is the winner of the 2011 Pantheon of Leather President’s Award. He has helped thousands learn to practice safe, sane and consensual BDSM over the last 10 years, as the novice group facilitator and a board member emeritus, for The Eulenspiegel Society (TES), the oldest and largest BDSM support and education group in the country. Bo is also a PCC-certified “alternative” life coach who specializes in alternative sexual relationships and non-traditional lifestyles. He is a nationally renowned expert on kink, lifestyle BDSM, ethical non-monogamy, the fetish world and LGBT issues. He has taught and lectured at hundreds of universities, conferences, and alternative events.
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Top Customer Reviews
If you're one of the 70 million people who read the 50 Shades of Grey, the trilogy may have inspired you to try some of the kinky activities described in the books. While kinky sex can be interesting, arousing, powerful and transformational, like most fun things, it can also be dangerous if it is not practiced without proper communication and knowledge. 50 Shades of Curious will help those who are just starting out on the road to kink, but even if you end up never going forward on that road, this book is full of worthy insights on relationships and life in general.
One of the most fundamental points 50 Shades of Curious drives home over and over is that clear and consistent verbal communication is an absolute must. The author is sensitive to readers who may feel embarrassed or shy about their desires to explore kinky sex, but he assures the reader that once the fear of allowing yourself to be who you truly are is overcome, only then can one truly grow. Communication is a huge roadblock for many people, but 50 Shades of Curious offers sensible and practical information about how to be a better communicator which can be used to attain your kinky desires, or just to be a better communicator in your relationships in general. Newcomers to BDSM may not have the proper vocabulary to express their desires, but 50 Shades of Curious fills the readers in with the necessary terminology to clearly communicate what they really want.
Another huge point in 50 Shades of Curious is that consent is also an absolute must. While there are no rules to BDSM, there is no BDSM without consent. If there is no consent, its not BDSM. It's abuse. There is no getting around this. Things may get tricky if your fantasy involves "consensual non-consent" but 50 Shades of Curious explains how to properly navigate those types of situations. You should read the book to get the full explanation, but the concise explanation of how to exercise consensual non-consent is COMMUNICATION. The emphasis on communication throughout the book is far from arbitrary. Communication is not only foundational to BDSM, but also for ALL relationships, whether they are kinky, romantic, platonic, professional, etc. Being a better communicator means being a better person.
On the face of it this book is a beginners guide to BDSM. However, as I mentioned earlier, its a valuable read for those who simply want to improve themselves. Bo Blaze, the author of 50 Shades of Curious says, "As a coach, I want people to seek truth. I want them to let go of their fears and find their integrity. When you stop growing, you start dying." The wisdom in those words go far beyond the bedroom or the dungeon. This is a great book for beginners, but its also a great book for anyone who is seeking truth.
"Use BDSM to have a great time, but also use it as a great medium to grow as a person, together as a couple or separately as people. Think of this as a really hot, kinky self-help project." Many people who are unfamiliar with BDSM may have never thought of it as having that kind of effect on people. When seen as a tool for transformation, it becomes worth at least intellectually pondering its possibilities. If you do decide to manifest your kinky thoughts and desires, you need this book. Helping beginners to BDSM the author's area of expertise. He has 10 years of experience running the Novice group at TES (The Eulenspiegel Society, the oldest BDSM support group in the country, based in NYC). Bo Blaze has the knowledge and experience to help those curious about kink to seek truth about themselves and kinky sex which is clearly expressed in this book.
Even for those who are more experienced practitioners of BDSM this is a great read, with new ways to look on things you thought you already knew but since it is written by someone deeply involved in the scene, it's the perfect book for you to recommend to friends or partners who are curious about kinky sex.
Just wanted to say thanks for writing fifty shades of curious am 47 year
old gay woman
With an interest in bdsm albeit a novice, the mantra stop growing start
dying is so true,,,,
Am just finding myself and exploring the things I enjoy , not feeling abnormal
and thats down in part to this book
I love the fact that Bo points out that there is no right or wrong way to practice BDSM. As he states several times throughout the book "There are no rules n BDSM except for consent". He explains many of the different types of relationships you will find in the lifestyle as well as different types of play.
As I wrote previously if you are new to BDSM or just want to learn more about it this is a great resource. And remember as Bo points out in the book "there are two kinds of people in the world 1. Those who admit to dirty thought and desires 2. Liars."
**I was provided a free copy of this book for an honest review**
The first step is a really big one. But we've all been there, and this is the guy you want talking you through it.
I feel this book is written well, and I learned a lot but I was left wanting a little more. I thought it would feature more role playing ideas. It did, however, do its job in educating me on the basics of BDSM. That is why I gave it four stars.
For all the Fifty Shades fans, this is not a book about 50 Shades or really what went on in 50 Shades. It rarely references the books at all in the text. The title of this book just entices readers of the 50 shades books to read this in order to learn what BDSM is really about.